We went fishing yesterday. I caught a masive fish. See below:


Argh. It's a Charlie Brown fish.

I wonder about the language that some people who claim to be speaking english are really using. It's words like "s'all good" and "babelicious" that I wonder about.

Now when someone says that these words are not in the dictionary (they're not in the conventional one anyway), you can point them to the pseudodictionary.

Check this out. The plane shown here:



Just landed next door.

You can play darts online at a virtual pub against a group of oddsters anytime you like. It's kind of a cool thing to do on a rainy day.

Even I can win at this game of darts. Real darts are a bit to complex for my simple mind.

Yup, that's where we are right now. We're fishing, eating a lot and watching satellite TV at a great place away from it all and with some friends. ahhhh.

The weather ain't so hot though, but oh well.

Very sad!

Growing up ain't easy for the best of us. Being a former child star has to suck eggs

You can go here to listen to Bill Cosby's arrogant opinion of Ozzy Osbourne and his family. Where have you been lately, Bill? Messing around on your wife some more? Getting another woman preggers? What a joke. Sorry Bill, Noah was funny. Your values ring very hollow you moronic, sunglass wearing has-been. Dumb, Bill. Very dumb.

Here's some WMA files to show how cool the Osbournes really are (BEWARE: these are NOT bleeped at all):

Ozzy - You're all f*&^ing mad

Kelly and Sharon - Valet and Martha Stewart

Sharon - Fruit and manslaughter **Carol's favourite**

Sharon and Ozzy - Tiny Bubbles

I got these sounds from the Osbourne's Family Album (soundtrack for the TV show) that we got yesterday. We also got Ozzy Osbourne - Live At Budokan.

I hope it's okay to have the sounds up. I'm not putting any music up. Ozzy needs the money to pay off that great house of his.



Carol and I drove by and snapped the above picture of their house when were in LA in May. No sign of the family though. =(

There is a huge International Shriners Convention here in Vancouver this week.



It's great for the city's economy. I heard that there's practically nowhere left to stay in the entire city.

What else does their being here mean?
- Old white men in fez's
- Little cars and motorcycles.
- Parades
- Of course... Clowns!!

Finally there is competition for Chapters/Indigo Books on the web in Canada. It comes in the form of Amazon.ca. Thank God. It prompts everyone to run just a little faster when there's someone nipping at your heals.

Read the CBC article on the story for more on this development.

Carol and I were just catching up on our days in the kitchen when the power went out. I called BC Hydro right away and the automated robot voice on the other end told me that they weer aware of the problem and were investigating it.

This didn't help us at all as Carol had just stuck the pizza into the oven. ARGH! No pizza. We played around in the garden for a bit to kill time until the power came back on. I took pictures, Moosh lounged and Carol tended her garden. the power still wasn't on 30 minutes later so carol called our friends, Pete and Kellie who live around the corner. They had power. Carol brazenly asked if we could take our pizza there to cook it. They agreed. Thanks Pete and Kellie (and Sarah too!).



We ate the Hawaiian pizza. And saved the pepperoni for later. Obviously the power is back on now or I wouldn't be posting this. Either that or we've harnessed the dog's horrific farts for a power source.

Sick today. But, I'm alive. Carol is catching the 4:20. Then we're having pizza! Yum.

I'm listening to Moby's new CD, 18, right now. It's great stuff. He even has his own weblog at: MOBY.COM

Very cool! Accessible entertainers are the best.

Adam Sandler has a site too. He leaves video messages for his fans. Happy Gilmore is still my fave Sandler flick, but Billy Madison is great too. So's Little Nicky. And the Wedding Singer. Oh wait a minute, all of Amam Sanler's stuff rocks.

Some other cool/weird official star sites are:
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Will Smith
Anthony Daniels (C3P0)
Rutger Hauer
Dawn Wells - Mary-Ann from Gilligan's Island
Wil Wheaton - Wesley Crusher from Star Trek - The Next Generation
William Shatner - Captain Kirk!
Michael Buffer - Let's get ready to rumble!
Paul McCrane - ER's Dr Romano
Robert Patrick - from T2 and the X-Files
Ed Begley Jr
Edward Furlong
Tim Allen
Benicio Del Toro - I met him
Calvert Deforest - Carol's Fave, Larry "Bud" Melman
Bruce Campbell
David Hasselhoff
George Takei - Mr Sulu
Elvira
Andy Dick

I went to the CFOX geeks page today. My lunch page made it there last year. Anyway, they had links to stuff I've seen before but are still funny.

Alcohol Warnings - hiccup!

Pillsbury Pukeboy - Punch him till he pukes.

Stupid Animals - OMG! WTF is this?

Party In The Stomach - Talking guts!

I've seen a lot of these tests, but this one gets right to the point: Are You John Stamos?

Here's what I'm having today:



Tuna salad sandwich, some unwashed carrots and a blemished banana. It's a lunch.

While on her lunch Carol saw Jackson Davies, he played Constable John, the bumbling RCMP officer from the Beachcombers. He was outside Starbucks. I wonder if he was going to be in the all new Beachcombers movie that was postponed due to a lack of funding. No wonder. The show kind of sucked. Isn't everyone else dead anyway? Nick and Relic are for sure.

Just like the South Park character generator from before. I whipped up a Lego Me. Pretty cool. The best was the sandwich. Hehe! Lego Lunchman.

You can make your own. I found this on Wil Wheaton's site.

Send me your's and I'll post them below.

Your creations:

Bubba Gump's Lego

Carol Browne's Lego

Enomis' Louisiana Lego

Heather's Wee Oz Lego

Karaoke Kevin Chan

We heard about this when we were travelling. It sounds pretty cool. It's subscription based ($9.99 USD per month) but commercial free.

Two of the companies doing it are:

XM Radio (I'm listening online right now) and Sirius

You can travel far and wide and still be listening to what you want to. Saves from skipping the weird to find the wonderful radio stations in an area you don't know very well.

What's stopping me from posting pictures of my lunch here? I don't have to put them in the old place do I?

Just for fun, here's a picture of me with my 'nanner (that's banana to you who don't live with Carol and I).




It's from Ecuador! There are lots of endangered or threatened in Ecuador.

In my headphones is Mystikal rapping about Big Truck Drivers on his Tarantula CD. Hell yeah!

Another online lunch is coming soon. You'll see.

I'm a star!
Me

Thanks, Heather! *Blush*

I guess the organization would be PAPoMP.

I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I'm a little out of sorts prior to coffee and a muffin in the morning anyway, but today - ARGH!

I take the train to work in the mornings. That's fine. I understand that with a large group of people sitting in a confined space for any amount of time can create emotional tension - e.g. air rage. People need their space or we become like rats in overcrowding experiments.

I am no exception. This morning for example a moronic woman decided to answer her cell phone and blather on about a cake and running for the train while everyone else was either trying to sleep or read. (see fig 1a for a reenactment of what went, briefly, through my mind)

Fig 1a

I guess if you're a surgeon or have a child with a major disease who may expire momentarily, I understand having to answer your phone on a quiet train. But otherwise - uh uh! Shaddup!

Dad, for example, was a veterinarian who was on call 24 hours a day when it was his turn. He had a pager and a cell phone, both set to vibrate. If in a theatre or a restaurant he would leave and do his yacking elsewhere so as not to disturb other people. Yay, Dad! See important job, but considerate of others. Not yimmering like a buzzard on a corpse about tucking your pantyhose into your skirt by acciedent.

If you have a cell phone please practice a little cell phone ettiquette. For God's sake, have some manners.

Myaaaaaaaaaaaah!

One of the Russian women who work here is cooking the most repellent smelling fish based meal in the microwave. Sometimes I wish my sense of smell was a little duller.

I have a headache now. I had to medicate.

Stupid ass video: OMG! Make it stop!

I liked hm better when he was the Knight Rider.

Discovered on WebSweepings.

Update: 1:14 June 18, 2002

Enomis sent me this:

What you talkin about, Michael Knight?

My tired old lunch has inspired more whackiness form Heather Blakey, the wrinting teacher in OZ. She is encouraging her students to become a Lunch Box Spy. She gave me a nod in the article as well. It's a strange feeling knowing that, even though I haven't scanned a lunch since March, something started as a lark is still making people giggle on the other side of the world.

Weeeeeeeeeee!

While Carol and I were getting ready for work today we discovered one of our Disneyland Passports from our recent trip South to LA and the surrounding area.



We had a great time on our trip and tons of fun in Disneyland. We went into the Haunted House twice. Most likely to make up for the time I was so afraid to go in when I was a kid with my family at Disneyworld in Florida. We also bought the CD.

We went on Pirates of the Caribbean twice as well. "Dead men tell no tales!" [wav 57 kb] I love this ride. I could have gone on it over and over again. Apparently Johnny Depp is involved in making a Pirates of the Caribbean movie with Disney right now. He's one of my favourite actors. It should be a great flick.

It's amazing that people really still have the capacity to think this way:

Saudi Broadcasts Promote Anti-Semitism, Martyrdom

Not only that they're teaching their brand of "wisdom" to three year olds.

Oddly enough this kind of racism incites people to respond in kind. It's hard not to pigeonhole an entire culture or religion due to the small mindedness of a few of it's initiates.

It's these kind of stories we hear from the press because they sell papers, get clicks, or ratings. Saudi Arabia seems to be the perfect society for breeding this kind of darkness. While growing up, Carol lived in Saudi Arabia as her dad worked for Aramco Oil. She heard about and saw strict enforcemnt of the religious laws there. Also, anti-semitism, most likely due to lack of education and various forms of censorship, was quite prevalent.

On the other hand there are nice, peaceful muslims in the world. I've met some. Let's see some stories about that.

Here's the real estate listing for my parents' summer place in Nova Scotia. Dad's getting tired of taking care of two properties, so he's selling this one. Carol and I had our wedding reception there in 1998. It's a beautiful place with very fond memories and we're sad to see it go (especially Carol).

There's been offers and counter-offers made already. It's only been on the market for three weeks. All the people looking have been Americans. They're coming to Claussen & Walters through Sotheby's. People with money shop there, so Ma and Pa's place will be like a drop in the bucket for some of them.

Dad told me that he thinks it'll go this week or next. =(

Wow. Heather Blakey, a writing teacher from Australia, seems to like my lunch page as well. She referred to me as "prolific" and complimented me on my ravings. She also asked if she could use my pictures, links etc in teaching her class. Are you sure it's not a psychology class, Heather? No one is going to chase me around with a butterfly net asking me to don a straight jacket are they? I sure hope not.

Perhaps it's a class on misspelled words and bad grammar. Hmmm.

Here's the front page of her site: Soul Food Cafe

I love to write. It keeps the old noodle loose.

Here's a picture of Carol's garden.



Let's play a little game; just like Where's Waldo. It's called Where's Moosh (our 10 year old Springer Spaniel). One thing I can tell you for sure, Moosh shouldn't be where she is. Lucky for her, Carol is out at yoga right now.

Next time we go away she's going to obedience school rather than Camp Good Dog where she went last time. get out of the garden. Eek.

On a side note she came home from Camp Good Dog last time after having a stick related accident (i.e. she ran into a tree carrying a stick) costing over $800. She's better than ever now, but it was a bit shaky. She had to have surgery to repair a punctured larynx and tonsil. Ow! Poor dog. But out of it we learned about Glucosamine for doggy arthritis. It works like a hot damn and she's like a puppy again.

Thanks to Gretchen Pirillo and her mentioning my Lunch on here weblog I may just have to start with the lunch thing again. That was hard work, but kind of fun. It did give me a feeling of accomplishment every day (I'm not sure why).

Already people are starting to link to it again:

Mood Swings

Pop Culture Junk Mail

Web Sweepings

Unproductivity This guy even started his own little "What's for Lunch" section. Cool.

I looked at some of my lunch pages myself again just now. You know, they were kind of funny.

Book returned to library... 74 years late. Only in Nova Scotia.

Marilyn Manson or Mike Tyson. I got all but 4. Pretty amazing how much alike they actually are.

Thanks Bill.

Thanks to my buddy Big Al Mac for the following:

A Newfoundlander was walking up the wharf carrying two - at least three pound live lobsters - one in each hand. It was three weeks after the season closed! Whom should he meet at the end of the wharf but the Fisheries Officer who, upon viewing the live and wiggling lobsters, says: "Well me Laddie I got you this time - with two live lobsters three weeks after the Season closed!"

The Newfoundlander says, "No - My Son you are wrong! These are two trained lobsters that I caught two weeks before the season ended."

The Fisheries Officer says, " Trained like how?"

"Well my son, each day I takes these two from my house down to the wharf and puts them in the water for a swim. While they swim I sits on the wharf and has me a smoke, or two. After about 15 minutes I whistles and up comes me two Lobsters, and I takes them home!"

"A likely story", the Fisheries Officer says! Let's take them on down the wharf and see if its true.

So, the Newfoundlander goes ahead of the Fisheries Officer to the end of the wharf where, under supervision,he gently lowers both lobsters into the water.
The Newfoundlander sits on a wharf piling and lights up a smoke, then another! After about 15 minutes the Fisheries Officer says to the Newfoundlander:

How about whistling?"

The Newfoundlander says " What for?"

The Fisheries Officer says, " To call in the lobsters"

The Newfoundlander says, " What lobsters?"

How about that? Just when I thought lunch was dead someone is interested (not that I've missed any meals).

Anyway, I posted a dorky comment on Gretchen's Site. If you don't know who she is you've been in the cyber-closet under a virtual rock. She's the wife of none other than the Lockergnome himself, Chris Pirillo. And a darn interesting blogger geek-ette in her own right. She had a look at my lunch and voilà, I get a wee mention on her blog. Cool! Thanks Gretchen!

Here's what she said: I'll take lima beans with a side of squid

Ever been to sea Billy?

Squid jigging

more: prawnography

Check out Chris Pirillo's My Humping Dog site. Why? Why not?

You'll recognize Chris from Tech TV's Call for Help. But his email newsletters are where I first learned of him. I've been getting my daily mail from Lockergnome for years. I've been getting the newsletter so long that I remember when it was text based.

Chris is a pretty cool guy. Friendly too. He has always emailed me back when I've dropped him a note.

The smelly perfume lady is on the bus every day now. I took her picture without her knowing.



Carol was on the bus with me yesterday. She says that the overpowering smell is Febreeze. That's awful stuff. It gave Moosh a rash that turned ito weeping sores on her neck one summer. We called her "Gore Neck" when she had it.

Here's MaryLou the former HR person from OnlineOffice.com where I worked.



I've seen her a few times. I've smiled and all she does is avert her eyes and scamper away. I wonder what I did? Anyway, I took her picture after she walked by this morning. HEHE!

I think this lady has a Car Problem. Have a listen to this one. Carol's dad sent it to us.

It came from this show, Crank Yankers, on Comedy Central.

Carol will Love this one: Cliche Finder

looks like you can win at cliché bingo next time.

Check this out: Gallery of Huge Beings

Back in Nova Scotia at the Halifax Citadel there was a statue of Angus McCaskill aka Giant McCaskill. he was apparently a real-life strongman who lived in NS in the 19th or early 20th century I can't remember which. The story I recal is that he died of a hernia carrying the anchor to a giant ship.

There are many nasty words to think about here: OPDS.

Bill and I were shooting nasties back and forth this afternoon. Weeee!

Here are the pictures I took outside of work today. This is the stuff I mention in my earlier story about addicts in Vancouver. The first picture below is the package that the needle came in. At least they used a clean one.



Next is the little squirt bottle they used.



I'm not sure how one goes about injecting heroin, but I've seen and heard enough about it to know that they use this stuff. As per usual, if you really want to know, it's on the Internet: How to shoot heroin

Please don't take this article the wrong way. I'm not trying to be funny in any way. Nor do I mean to be presenting this in a light or dismissive way. As a matter of fact I personally believe addiction in any form to be a very serious problem. I know many who have suffered due to this disease.

For more info: Addiction Resource Guide

I love zombies. Now I can pretend I'm just like them:

Archie McPhee Brain Gelatin Recipe

Well this story is scary. Looks like things are getting bad here again. I wasn't aware it had ever got better. As I was coming in to work I found a syringe packet on the steps coming in to the building. It's strange. This is a nice neighbourhood, but I have seen people a few times shooting up on the same steps.

I took a picture of the syringe packet with my camera. There was also a little squirt bottle of water that addicts use sitting on the wall by the steps. I took a picture of that too. I'll post the pics here tonight when I get home.

Learn more here: CBC News

Mike Tyson seeing little birdies:

MSNBC Coverage

Carol and Cathy loved this show:

Gigglesnort Hotel

Videos

More

Why is it that I hear cuckoo clocks when I read this link? Oh my!

You can administer the wrath of God. Use your power well (and often).

Check it out! I made a South Park-esque likeness of myself. Click on the image or the link below it to go and make your own.



South Park Studio

Maybe it's a good idea to leave passwords to someone in your will. Check out this article from Wired:

Hackers Wanted in Norway

Ever wake up with morning breath? Bet you this guy did.



Thanks to Pauly for the picture.

"She sells seashells on the seashore.
The shells she sells are seashells, I'm sure."

Tongue Twisters

Carol and I watched this DVD last night.

Novoacaine is a pretty good flick about a dentist played by Steve Martin who gets caught up in a sticky situation. This story is not for the faint of heart or for people who are truly phobic about going to the dentist (and who but masochists aren't?).

Laura Dern and Helena Bonham Carter give bang up performances in this too.

Also, there's a surprise appearance by a certain actor famous for dancing in the 80's who stole the show when he was on camera. Not his usual kind of role. A bit of self parody actually.

I give it 3.5 stars out of 5. Worth the rental.

Official Movie Site

Since I quit smoking 4 and a half years ago my sense of smell has come back. Some times I wish it hadn't.

When I piled onto the bus with the other lemmings for my thankfully short morning jaunt up Burrard St. to work, my nose was assailed by the pungent odor of cheap perfume. A 50 something woman was sitting there looking quite dishevelled (frizzy hair and a dress that looked slept in) and smelling like a "whore at a picnic" (Thanks to Doreen T for that gem).

The smell was so startling that I winced and gave an involuntary groan. I had to keep my head back for the whole time she was on the bus. I mean, good Lord! Did she just soak herself in that crap? Yuck! Actually I think I can still smell it. It's probably embedded in my nostril hairs and I'll have to get my nose bleached out.

I guess I need to watch out with my olfactory obsessions or I'll end up like Patrick Süskind's character in his novel Perfume.

The West Coast Express broke down on Clean Air Day. The 4:20 pm train crapped out and had to go for repairs right before the passengers were to board. They brought in another train that was 3 cars shorter, so not everyone got a seat (I did). It left 10 minutes late. People were standing up until we had made the first couple of stops.

I take back what I said before. Commuting today was neither convienient nor easy.

Happy Clean Air Day!

What a bunch of goofballs.

According to Translink today, June 5 2002, is Clean Air Day. They had people handing out free copies of the Vancouver Sun and tree seedlings smothered in sealed plastic from Tree Canada.

"Thanks for your clean commute!", the glossy flyer says. What's it made of? Paper. The newspaper? Yes, paper too. I'll recycle them. However, didn't trees die to make their Clean Air Day crap? Yes!

How transparently promotional. Their crappy corporations that offer bad service at an exorbitant cost to the consumer think a stick in a bag and a rag of a newspaper will keep commuters using their service? Give me a break. Keep your papers and your guilt gift of the tree seedling choking in the plastic and give us a break on the cost of transit (that's 172.50 x 2 every 28 days + 15 for parking). We commute because it's convenient and easy, not because we want dead trees. Nor do we have the illusion that it saves us money or helps the environment. myahhh!

Hey! Pew! Good Gawd!



Who cut the cheese? Who dropped a rose? Who broke wind? Did a cow crap in here? Did you open an old jar of pickles? Hoof Hearted?

The horny dolphin is comin' to get you! Ooooh! Flipper!

"Truth Is..." was the name of a really bad short film done as a class project in which I played the drug addled kidnapper/pimp Zeb. I was a full time acting student at VFS at the time. I was also about 30 odd pounds thinner. I found this screenshot of my big screen debut in some old files today. Hehe! Have a look:



The actress in the frame with me looked quite a bit like Winona Ryder (but was definitely not her). Winona had her elbow broken by an overzealous TV cameraman today as she entered court to face charges of drug possession, vandalism and shoplifting. Free Winona!

There are no windows that one can open on the West Coast Express. People fart all the time. Apparently as much as 20 times pper day and uncontrollably at that. So when we ride in to work every morning we have to smell the stink of people's bums. Recycled air sucks.

I need to send the WCE to the Poop Report.

The stench was revolting today. I think I'll eat beans and cabbage tonight. That'll show them.

Mike said, "Let there be Blog!" and there was.

This is the start of the mikebrowne.com weblog. The look is going to change considerably, but the navigation and functionality will stay the same.

I'm going to start us off with a little picture of me in Disneyland. See hideous pic below:



and a link to some more of the pictures we took while in CA.

Yippee!