American shock rocker Marilyn Manson was once arrested at an Italian concert by police convinced he'd severed his own penis and thrown it at the crowd.
The singer was left so bewildered by the allegations he had to flash officers to prove his appendage was still attached.

Marilyn, real name Brian Warner, explains, "At an Italian concert someone made a complaint that I tore off my manhood and threw it into the crowd. The police actually believed it and arrested me.

"I had to show them, 'Look, everything is still here.' I had to convince them that I'm not a magician."

Story from SFGate.com

Honestly, it's too bad it isn't a true story. Like we need him left with the capability to reproduce.

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in its ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub in its ears once a month.

The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days." The lady says "I'm not using it under my arms."

The druggist says, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."

The lady says "I'm not using it on my legs either; and if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."

The druggist says "Stay off your bicycle for a week."

Happy anniversary, Carol. Thanks for tolerating my gas and grumpiness for the last five years.

Here are some pictures of the old vampire Madonna hoping to suck some life back into her career via the faces of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Pathetic, but fun to watch.

Yahoo! News - Minn. Teen Arrested in Web Worm Attack
To quote Monopoly, "Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200".
Weasel!

Watch The Course if you enjoy funny stickman animations. There's 10 episodes.

Yahoo! News - CIA Recruiting TV Spy Garner for Promo Video
They're in your head, man. Watch out for the transmitters in the walls.

Pauly sent me this link to the Okanagan Park Fire Video. The scenes were fairly interesting. Who added the cheesy Degrassi Junior High music to the video. It was just slightly over the top. Argh! A little limp in points. A very Canadian production.

Looks like the company who put this together will get some traffic to their site. I'm never quite sure how I feel about this kind of thing. If it were an individual who created this, fine, but it was a media company. Perhaps their hearts were in the right place, but there's just a hint of exploitation of a terrible situation. My spidey-sense tells me the motives here were not all altruistism or gratitude to the people who put their necks on the line.

Kat T sent me a link to this article about a bunch of mom's beating the crap out of a male stripper who must have put on a really crappy performance.

Raids suggest foreign students had scouted landmarks, tested explosives, task force says My question: Why us?

It's the big day for Earth and Mars today. Not in 60,000 years have the two planets been so close. Perhaps it's time to rush out and buy a telescope and look up at the (hopefully) cloudless sky to see a happy face crater.

and it only costs "one million dollars" (in my best Dr Evil voice) ...muhahahahahaha muhahhahahhaa muhahahhahahaha

"How do you make sure your movie gets maximum exposure? Simple: release it on the internet. Guy Clapperton talks to the makers of This Is Not a Love Song, who have done just that."

Thanks to Jackson for the link.

This is very similar to the ideas I have around marketing my Zombie movie (Yes! You heard it here first) currently in development. It may take me years to get it done. Heck the writing is really just beginning, but it's kind of fun planning a whole alternate universe. It's called UnDeadTV and here's the placeholder page I've done for my little flick. I can't really go into too much detail right now, but let's just say you'll be lucky to get out alive. ;)

Now this is a fun site. There's nothing better than listening to icons lose it. Here's the great Orson Welles being an asshole. Here's a David Duchovny classic.

I always have trouble choosing what I'm going to read next. Currently I'm reading a book about superstitions. However, hwne it's time to choose a new book to read I think I'll use WhichBook.com. The whole point of the site is to assist you in choosing what book best suits your preferences.

Don't forget September 19 is Talk Like A Pirate Day!

CNN.com - New Moby Dick? Boat crasher a rare white whale - Aug. 22, 2003
Thanks to Rick P for the link.

Seems ballistics has linked the shootings. Thanks to Nate Dawg for the link.

NOAA POSTS IMAGES ONLINE OF NORTHEAST BLACKOUT

NASA photos

Thanks for the links Jackson.

At Rotten Ronny's in Canada all day! Get your dose of mad cow right now! Thanks to Bill G for the link.

As many of you know there are many forest fires burning out of control right now in BC's interior. Many homes have been lost and thousands of hectares of forest are burned to a cinder. A friend of Pauly sent some pictures, most of which were taken from her own front yard in Kamloops. I thought I would share the best of them:



UPDATE: Donnie Mac just told me his brother and family were evacuated from Kelowna last night at 10pm. Donnie also sent me links to more fire photos and more here as well as fire specific info and info on Kelowna. These photos are terrifying.

With this robot suit you may be able to walk again.

Blog is word in the dictionary.

OldVersion.com - because newer isn't always better.

We thought he was dead. I guess not.

Oompa, loompa doom-pity do. I've got a little puzzle for you. What do you get when you throw in a Depp? You get Willy Wonka with a kinds of pep. Are we really sure he'll know act? You bet your sweet bippy.

Check out this California Recall Poll from Taco Bell.

Thanks for the link Jackson!

Pauly sent me a great article on Canada from an American writer's perspective. This article was found in the Pittsburg Post Gazette:

You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music or throws raucous parties. He doesn't gossip over the fence, just smiles politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn't always lock his front door. He wears Dockers. You hardly know he's there.

And then one day you discover that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace marches and that guy you've seen mowing the yard is his spouse.

Allow me to introduce Canada.

Check out WiggerDressUp.com. Strangely enough that dude looks like a certain white rapper.

MSN Messenger is an instant messaging program that lets you send instant messages with cool emoticons, send pictures and other files to your friends, call a phone anywhere in the world from your computer, see when someone is typing a message to you, page a contact's mobile phone, and much more. The latest version allows for a little more customization than previous versions including an icon or picture of yourself. Also, MSN Messenger 6 offers a webcam chat feature (if you have a webcam). Anyway, I love this program and use it every day. It's probably the easiest way to get in touch with me. My MSN Messenger address is: bubzombie@hotmail.com

Download Size: 8113 KB get it right here.

What a nice wedding photo and a pleasant story. I can't believe she's only 18; more like 40. She looks like she's been dragged around the block a few times.

Thanks to Kat T for the link.

This simulation shows how long a fullscale zombie infection would take in a specific area. Rarrrrrr! Brains!

Thanks to Rick P for the picture.

This is happier. Check out Peeing Mexicans.

Here's a disclaimer from the site:
"These wonderful drawings, by any means, are not discrimating against Mexicans. I do not hate Mexicans, friends of Mexicans, lovers of Mexicans, relatives of Mexicans, people who know a Mexican, people who know people who know a Mexican, or Taco Bell. If you take offense, then I am sorry. I love our friendly fast speaking neighbors."

Bomb at U.N.’s Iraq HQ kills 15. Is there any happy news today?

Also included in the latest email from Zimbabwe was the shocking story of Simon S. Rather than me summarize I thought it best to let you read the entire thing in his words. It's rather long but worth the read if you have the time. Here's what he wrote:


I am an MDC activist and a Zimbabwean Patriot who is committed to bringing about true democracy in our country.

In early November 2001, I had just returned by car from a trip to Masvingo to meet secretly with other activists in the area in preparation for the upcoming Presidential Elections.

At 0830 hours, Monday 12th November 2001, 3 plain - clothes gentlemen arrived at the office and asked if I could accompany them to Central Police Station to answer some questions. I asked them to produce their identity and noted that they came from the notorious Law and Order Section of the ZRP, whose specific responsibility it was to use muscle in all its forms to enforce both the archaic laws of the past and those more recently introduced, in the course of the subversion of Justice. I knew at this time that, what I had psychologically prepared for, and hoped would not come to pass, had happened. I managed to quickly pass word to my assistant to urgently inform the shadow Justice Minister for whom I work, of my predicament. I knew that I would soon be focusing on mustering all the strength and discipline that I would need to face what was in store for me. My time had finally arrived.

Carol's family have been to Zimbabwe and maintain contact with the family who hosted them on their safaris. They are not having a good time under the tyrannical reign of President Mugabe. They send news out via email once in a while just to let friends know whether they are okay (or not). A link they sent today was to ZWNEWS Especially interesting was this story about how Zimbabwe has empowered police to strip-search people for cash.

It's amazing that these kinds of government still exist. I though Mussolini and Hitler were dead.

NASA thinks we can find another Earth in another nearby star. When we do, how can we possibly travel light-years to get there?

Here comes Canada: The next oil superpower

West Va. police fear serial sniper
Thanks to everyone who sent this link.

Blogjam presents: Neil Armstrong - The Truth
Behold! It's what Neil Armstrong really said when he stepped onto the surface of the moon for the first time.
Use your sound, but BEWARE it's not exactly work safe.

Jackson, my pal here at work, has done a piece on the gubernatorial (goobernatorial more like it) recall in California. You can read it right here. He also wrote a brief article called 'The Stupidity of Government' right here.

Here it is. Michael Moore's Bowling For Columbine is coming out tomorrow on DVD & VHS. I'm interested in this film, but not enough to pay to see it in the theatres. I find him interesting mainly from the standpoint of being amazed at the biased views he presents as fact.

After Michael Moore's rant at the Oscars re: George Bush's fitness for his job as President there's even a site calling for the revocation of his Oscar. What a maroon. "How to get blackballed from the film industry in one easy step" - by Michael Moore, Liberal Jackass. Where's your sense of decorum, man? Have you not any sense of gratitude for the industry that just so graciously granted you its highest award?

I do agree that guns (and people with them) do kill people, as you can see from my post directly below. However, I think Michael Moore's sensational presentation of the problem makes the cause of gun control look just as laughable as the rednecks on the other side of the issue. Whatever happened to real documentary? PBS? What the hell is that? Isn't that where Sesame Street lives? Ugh! I know presenting only the facts doesn't really hold the cyber-cultures attention for long, but at least the correct information would be available.

Bowling for Columbine looks like one to watch. Just out of sheer curiosity if nothing else. Perhaps I'll learn something. ;)

Man 'pulled out a gun and just started blazing into the crowd,' witness says
We here in Vancouver call ourselves Hollywood North, but it looks like more than just the movie biz has leaked across the border. Along with film come the guns and that culture. We still have far fewer shootings per capita than our neighbour to the South, but violence is on the rise here in Canuckistan.

To heck with 50 Cent. Check out The Official 50 Shekel Website. Right on! Jew unit!

I think I want to see Cabin Fever. Nothing better than shack-whacky psychos. Shades of The Shining.

The drunkest female driver on record. Bet there have been others who haven't been caught.

CNN.com - Ugandan dicator Idi Amin dies - Aug. 16, 2003
Not a nice guy. Now a dead guy.

Dancer Sues Tabloid Over Affleck Sex Stories
Thanks to Jackson for the scoop.

Pictures of The Blackout

I guess the photographer who took the picture for this article just might know.

CBC News: Power disaster hits North America
It's apparently due to a failure of the Niagara Mohawk power grid. Strange, their site is still up.

Another link to more news from MSNBC here and news from the BBC here and Washington Post right here.

Jackson sent me a link to the Blackout History Project. I guess they have a new date to add.

UPDATE: 3:27 PM - check out www.foxnews.com. They can't update. They run out of NYC. LOL!

UPDATE: 9:47 PM - CBC in depth coverage. Right here.

Check out the speech accent archive. There's a ton of audio examples of various people from all over the world saying the same english phrase. Some of the accents are so thick that without the text example I wouldn't know what the heck they were saying.

Thanks to my friend Ken R for this giggle.

I thought we were friends. I guess he doesn't like me any more.

I have got to get me one of these. That way Lappy and I can know where the best place to sit in the wired coffee shop or convention centre.

Try Introvertster.

Looks as though a Japanese company has designed painless needles based on the sting of a mosquito. They're priced at 5 times the price of a regular needle, but for neede phobes (like me) it's worth it. I wonder if they'll leave an red bump like an itchy mosquito bite?

Were Alfred Hitchcock still alive today it would be his 104th birthday. I've seen Hitchcok films and "Hitchcock Presents" on TV since I was a kid, but Carol and I have just taken up watching his films anew. They still hold up really well. Just last weekend we watched Vertigo with the late great James Stewart. We love to watch for where "Hitch" makes a brief appearnace, usually as an extra, in all his films.
Carol noticed that Google had a Hitchcock logo up to celebrate the great director's birthday today. Thanks Carol.

Yahoo! News - Internet Worm Targets Microsoft Windows This is a nasty one. I say summary executions for the idiots who think these are a good idea.

Grab your aluminum foil deflector beanie, big brother really is watching.

Matt S sent me a link to :: Making Over Mona ::. DaVinci's Mona Lisa, apparently, needs a makeover. I saw the real Mona Lisa in Paris when I was there in 1985 and went to the Louvre. I found the sight of her rather anticlimactic roped off behind her leaded glass enclosure. She was smaller than I thought she'd be. The feeling was, "Well there she is." *Yawn*. It must have been all those Cadbury commercials. I was only 16 at the time and drunk out of my skull. Life is wasted on the youth of this world. I'm sure I'd appreciate it more today. *SIGH*

What a funny little car. *BEEP* *BEEP*

Here's a TextToSPeech demo that synthesizes your text into a female voice. There's even accented voices. Like, oh my God, it's a Valley girl!

Dr. Phil gave this test on Oprah she got a 38. Some people pay lots of money to find this stuff out. Read on, this is very nteresting! Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate. And it only takes 2 minutes. I got 42.

Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now ... not who you were in the past.

Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning ! their employees and prospective employees.

It's only 10 simple questions, so ... grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers.

Ready?? Begin...

McLure father lives with the guilt that he sparked the blaze that left his neighbours homeless and hillsides scorched

Now that would suck. At least he admitted it, but still what a cross for this guy to bear. So many people lost everything.

Well, our friend Ronk and wifey Dagmar are all settled in Australia again. Now that RonK is back home he's gotten into the culture. FATPIZZA is a movie and TV show I'd love to see. Judging from the videos, some kind of dirty, it looks like the Aussie version of Trailer Park Boys.

Thanks for the link, RonK!

Anakin Skywalker? That's me I guess.

I'm definitely getting involved when it's Flash Mob time here in Vancouver.

Thanks to Chuff for the link.

Herald Sun: Depp to rock as Ozzy [10aug03]
Thanks to Carol for the link.

Above is what people would see if Carol and I couldn't use Spud.ca for our groceries.
Thanks to Big Al Mac for the picture.

CBC News: Donald Marshall heads home after double-lung transplant I hope he gets well soon.

Donald Marshall was the aboriginal Nova Scotian man who spent 11 years in jail for a crime he didn't commit. My old friend's dad, RCMP Staff Sgt Harry Wheaton, had a big part in the investigation which eventually freed Marshall.

I told you Vince Neil was hitting bottom.

Jackson, you rock!

S.T.I.N.K.S.

Thanks to Jackson for yet another link.

Pepsi takes on Coke with vanilla soda - Aug. 8, 2003 Thanks for pointing that one out this morning Lance.

Gary Busey Nearly Drowns Recovering Pork Chop From Swimming Pool
LOS ANGELES—Actor Gary Busey was flown from his Malibu home to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after he nearly drowned trying to retrieve a pork chop from the bottom of his swimming pool Tuesday. "We're eating on the patio, and Gary suddenly shouts, 'Let's have dinner in the pool!' and starts throwing baby red potatoes and hunks of meat into the water," said Lupo Risinger, Busey's friend and next-door neighbor. "Well, the pork chop he threw sank like a stone, and—you know Gary—he wouldn't come up for air until he had that sucker in his teeth." Busey is currently listed in "marginally stable" condition.

Thanks to Jackson for sending this story from TheOnion.com (worth another look if you haven't been there in a while).

I wonder if a Meat Shake is Atkins friendly? It looks like a helluva lot of carbs per serving. So maybe not. But, the song on the Meaty Mobile page is hilarious.

Chuff has found the answer!

CBC News: Explosion rocks Halifax waterfront But this explosion is nothing like the one that happened on December 6, 1917.

Dad's mom lived through that one because she wasn't at school that morning. Her school was leveled. Mom has a silver tea set that made it through the explosion although it was damaged. It was repaired with a note by the silversmith alluding to the explosion etched into the bottom.

Yahoo! News - Laura Regan to Play Jessica Lynch on NBC
Here comes the jingoistic uproar. Wait for it...

Yes, it's true Gary Coleman is running for Governor of California. That place is like Disneyland all over. Heck, Disneyland even lives there. This race could heat up considerably over the next few days. I think the Terminator might pull it off, but that remains to be seen. I'm just waiting for Stiffler to throw his hat in the ring, then all bets are off.

I really want to move to California now. I guess it's too late for me to get my name on the list to vote. Wahhh!

It would be great to live in a place where Arnold (either the German or the midget) was the Governor. Can you imagine what that would be like? Willis as Attourney General... no more three strikes laws. Perhaps finance minister could be Carrottop. He sure knows how to save money on a phone call. Oh well, dare to dream. And Larry Flynt's bid? Hey, it could be worse.

Livin' Tha Life - Where is My Change? Thanks to Lance for the link (I think).

Which is which? I got 8 out of 10. Thanks to company brainiac Carl S for the link. He got 9 out of 10.

Look it's a jacuzzi for my TV obsessed wife. Thanks to Donnie Mac for the link.

Herald Sun: J.Lo dumps Ben and they didn't even get married.

There's noise that the above may not be true.

Larry Flynt wanted you to pary for the death of Bill O'Reilly yesterday. Did you? I didn't. Is Mr O'Reilly still kicking? I love the disclaimer at the bottom of the poster.

Check out the Five Habits of Millionaires article on MSN Careers. I have some adjustments to make.

It's been 58 years today since the bombing of Hiroshima, Japan by the US in an attempt to finish the Second World War. The vaporization of this city and 230,000 of its inhabitants then the bombing of Nagasaki and 74,000 more people 3 days later on August 9, 1945 was enough for the Japanese to throw in the towel. Yes it ended the war, but was it worth it? Who's to say? I don't believe that any violent loss of life, especially civilian, is necessary or acceptable. I'm glad I don't have to make those life and death decisions. That kind of thing is better left to sociopathic politicians willing to kill for the 'greater good'. I pray that this never happens again. But the barometer is rising in many parts of the world and signs are pointing to nuclear conflict, or at the very least a standoff, within the next 5 years.

During remeberance ceremonies today in Hiroshima, the mayor of that city lashed out at the Bush administration's policies on nuclear weapons. As someone who governed a state where the death penalty is so casually meted out and as a right-leaning President with a September 11th sized chip (and rightly so) on his shoulder, I'm not sure Mr Bush is listening. Honestly, that scares me.

This is an official announcement to express my deep hatred to the crappiest vending machine on the planet, that just happens to be ten feet away from me. I think it hates us too. It won't take our money, the guy who fills it up doesn't replace the contents with any consistent products, so if you like something one week, it's gone the next, and it shakes up my pop for me. My diet coke always (and I mean always) explodes.

That is all. Carry on.

It's an animal and a dance.

I'm 34. Ugh. I hate my birthday.

I was born 7 years to the day that Marilyn Monroe was found dead in Beverly Hills. I guess she saw me coming. Mariner 7 flew past Mars on the day I arrived. I was born in the summer of '69 smack dab in between the moon landing (Neil Armstrong's birthday is today too) and Woodstock. My bellybutton b'day was also three days prior to the beginning of the Manson murders. A lot was going on then I guess. Heck, even the Viet Nam War was in full swing. And the Beatles were still together, but Yoko was in the picture by then.

My birthname, prior to being adopted, was Christopher Jude Croft. I've always assumed the Jude part was a sign of the times too. Perhaps named after the number one Beatles song, Hey Jude.

Other folk celebrating today are The Maureen McCormick aka Marcia Brady from the Brady Bunch, Adam "MCA" Yauch of the Beastie Boys and Loni Anderson of WKRP fame.

Don't forget the Religious Observances today:

Christian-England : St Oswald Day
Old RC : Basilica of Our Lady of the Snows, Rome
RC : Mem of Dedication of St Mary Major Basilica, Rome (opt)

And it's also International Test Ban Day (Int'l Physicians for Prevention of Nuclear War).

Anyway, happy birthday to me.

Now Carol and her family can feel like they're still on the Aramco compound in Dharhan. All they have to do is watch Saudi Arabian TV online.

By the looks of this story Motley Crue's former lead singer, Vince Neil, is still having difficulties even after his spiritual awakening at church with MC Hammer on the Surreal Life.

Carol's sister Cathy sent me the link to this picture. Can you say, "Yikes"?

The Survival Guide to Living in a Vehicle ever had to live in a car for longer than a night? I have. Fun, fun, fun!

You can claim your space on the moon, right here. Just saw it on Conan O'Brien. Interesting, but cuckoo!

No these cakes aren't mine. The cakes are made by another guy named Mike and, yes, his cakes are amazing.

Perhaps the next time we hire for the developmet team we should draw from the pool of programmers at Primate Programming Inc. Thanks to Carol for the link.

Ben and J-Lo attempt acting. By David Edelstein Thanks to Jackson for sending this along. My guess is that Gigli won't do so well this weekend. The only people who'll go to see it are those who rubber neck at car accidents.

Check out this list of Top Ten Urinals from around the world. Some of the more interesting pots to pee in.