And I can't stop laughing at it. check it out. You need sound and watch for kiddies' ears. It's rather nasty.

Telus rakes in big profit amid complaints
Company sees $115.9-million profit, promises better customer service.

Riiiiight.

Halloween is Here. Tonight is one of my favourite nights of the year. I was adopted on Halloween, so it's kind of like a second birthday for me.



Carol, Moosh and I are going to Rick and Wendy's place (pictured above) for the night to throw candy at and scare the crap out of neighbourhood kiddies. Their house is a popular one as Rick who owns Riggit (thus knows how to put on a great show) goes all out.

If you feel like dropping by you can find us on the 300 block East 26th, North Vancouver. To get there from Vancouver take the Lonsdale exit off Number 1 and right turn up Lonsdale and then take a right onto 26th. Last year they collected donations for the burn unit. I'm not sure if they're doing that this year, but drop by anyway.

If you still have decorating to do for tomorrow try these jack-o-lantern carving patterns. They're awesome.

Thanks to Bill G for the link.

Dress up your pets. Thanks to Carol and Ada for the pictures.

This one looks like Moosh.

Allah Is In The House. At least he makes it clear that he doesn't hate Muslims.

I haven't quite figured it out yet, but Happy Ramadan anyway.

Watch out Osama or we'll kick your ass with Krav Maga. There's a training centre in West Vancouver now and I'd love to learn that style of Martial Art.

I'm not sure by the look of this link, this link and this link. It all had something to do with an article on his blog.

If he really doesn't like kitties maybe Pauly (seen here making cat stew) can make a new friend.

As per Elliot's request. From various places:

Blogcritics

MSN Entertainment

AskMen.com

And the list I most agree with from Bureau42.com.

And the coolest list of scary movie moments is at Retro Crush.

What's with the obsession with death, zombies and horror?

The question comes from Cathy, my sister-in-law, from the post below this one.

It's a good question and one I actually have an answer to. People have asked me this before and I have really done some soul searching around it. I can sum it up in one word: FEAR. Fear of what? DEATH. That's right, I am a massive 'fraidy-cat' that coupled with having been adopted on Halloween doomed me to this life.

It developed out of my fear of my own mortality. As a child I was horrified by things like mummies, vampires, zombies, ghosts, aliens and monsters. In fact anything that could even in the remotest chance cause my demise I avoided like the plague (especially things like the plague). I feared death (perhaps even irrationally) for someone so young. I was unable to watch a scary movie without horrific nightmares for weeks or even months afterward.

Ancient Egypt, mummies and mummification scared the crap out of me so it also became a fascination culminating in my having vivid nightmares of being an Egyptian Priest who dressed in the likeness of the Anubis, the jackal-headed God of the Dead, performing funerary rites.

When my family and I attended Disneyworld I was unable to even start the Haunted-Mansion ride. Once inside the mansion I lost the my oh-so tenuous grip on my composure and had to be escorted crying through the inner workings of the mansion. My family continued on with the ride and I waited for them embarrassed, but relieved. Still to this day even a ride like a roller coaster terrifies me so much I have yet to endure one. I'm 34 and have no plan on hopping into one of those little cars to have myself a heart attack. No thanks. Too close to the edge for me.

I had to learn to cope. I think that the Haunted Mansion was a turning point. I got to see the very unscary behind-the-scenes of the ride as I made my way outside to safety.

As none of us know what's on the 'other side' so rather than just hide in a closet and tremble I confront my fears of death by learning as much about them as I can. I voraciously read books on the subject; literally hundreds. Everything from Raymond Moody's - Life After Life to the Egyptian Book of the Dead through which I even learned a bit about hieroglyphics. Right now I'm reading Stiff - The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers.

I began learning about how horror movies were made when I was very young. While other kids were playing sports I was obsessed with people classic horror movie folks like Boris Karloff and Lon Chaney and devoured books about them. That led to my appreciation of horror as a genre.

I have worked in a cemetery as a gravedigger and done security in various hospital morgues, ER's and even at an abandoned insane asylum. I have even had the rare experience of watching a fellow employee die of a massive heart attack right before my eyes. That's not something I wish for everyone to see, but am grateful today to have had the experience.

The fear I feel from a good horror movie, knowing how they are made and that it's 'only a movie' is actually extremely fun for me. I found myself grinning like a madman at the recent Texas Chainsaw Massacre film wishing that one day I could make people feel this way. One day I will. Writing about death is cathartic and making a scary movie would be the ultimate for me in dealing with my fears.

Basically, my life has become about understanding that which I fear so much - death.

Today I love being scared.

I hope that answers your question and Happy Halloween.

I think I want to see this. It could be fun. Check out the official website right here.

If there's on show that has had great Halloween episodes over the years it would be the Simpsons. Check out The Treehouse of Horror capital of the world!. You find all sorts of scary Simpson's goodies there.

Thanks to Jackson for the link.

Here's an article on cyberpiracy in Canada.

Tahnks to Matt S for the link.

I just ordered this but not from HBO. It was cheaper at Amazon.ca.

Yahoo! News - 'Price Is Right' Announcer Rod Roddy Dies

We'll miss you Rod.

"Come on down! You're the next contestant on The Price is Right!" (38kb MP3 Audio)

Looks like a new game for me to play. Yahoo!

It's not only hockey that Canada kicks ass at.
Yahoo! News - Canadian Beats World at Rock, Paper, Scissors

Vancouver should be proud of itself. It's stupid assed 'state sponsored suicide' program in the form of a safe injection site has made the front page of Yahoo! News today. Look Schlemiel it's your favourite subject. They're talking about harm reduction rather than abstinence. Argh!

CNN.com - HK's 'big white guy' stands out - Oct. 27, 2003
Thanks to Lance for the interesting link.

CNN.com - Personal submarine for the super-rich - Oct. 24, 2003
If you feel like spending over $800,000.

It's coming and now has it's own website.

The Professional's Guide to Fire Eating
Just in case you were wondering how.

There's more on this right here.

This Arabian Random Insult Generator is kind of cool.

Here's one:

May 16 obese Cuban immigrants smash beer cans on their Meow Mix while hiding out in your armpit.

so there...

Yes. I've posted a link to this freak before. But Pilar gave me the heads up that he's updated the My Fashion Pages link.

Thanks Pilar. My eyes! It burns!

"Throughout the ages, man has pondered the question, "How much is inside?"
With a few extra bucks, and a decent spot on the internet, we at cockeyed.com expose these long-hidden truths."

Chilling Video Shows Klebold, Harris Target Practicing
Victims' Families Press For Release Of Videotape.

Oddly enough, while watching this I was reminded of many times my friends and I would do this stuff in high school (a lot). Three of my buddies were busted for skeet shooting in town and we got nailed by local cops for being a-holes with guns a lot. No one really ever got hurt. Not badly anyway.

Even the way they were talking was familiar. I don't see how they made the leap from these videos to what they did 6 weeks later.

I personally withstood (and dished out) a lot of bullying as a teen. I played violent video games and listened to heavy metal music as much as they did. I drank and did 'other things' more than the average teen to the point of requiring help. I suffered a great deal of 'teenage angst' yet, I never actually took a weapon to school and murdered teachers and fellows students. As many teens I had the sick fantasy about 'taking control', but I never did it. I knew that was wrong.

What was different about them? Why did they cross that line and I didn't?

Author of Bernardo, Homolka books faces 94 charges | CP
I do think we Canadians have right to know what happened regardless of how sick it is. I do sympathize with the families' positions though only to a point. How can we better understand, not to mention prevent, things like this if we sweep it under the rug like it never happened?

The long fingered Doc from Cannonball Run has passed away.

A sad story. I'm only a day older than he was.

Judge: Amish Can Skip Orange Safety Tape thank goodness they don't have to move into the 21st century. Although, by the looks of this they already have.

Plastic surgery doesn't turn out well for everyone. It's looking like I have to "get some work done" on the old snotbox sometime soon. I hope I don't end up here. Not that anyone who reads this even cares.

B.C. Ferries needs '22 new vessels over the next 15 years' and are considering building a terminal at YVR. An interesting idea to say the least but at the same time I can see it getting so expensive to use the ferries that no one bothers any more. Look at VIA Rail for example. They've priced themselves right out of the market making rail travel in Canada too expensive to even bother. I guess we'll all be swimming to Victoria before too long.

Street names of drugs... also from Jackson. He does seem a little weird today.

Drinkometer - The Drink-o-Meter Test - How much Alcohol have you consumed?
Thanks to Jackson for the link. I'm not sure this would be accurate in my case as I haven't had a drink in almost 11 years, but, at the same time, it's fun to play with.

Hey! None of that! That's not what I meant.

The Indiana Jones flicks are finally out on DVD. I guess George Lucas needs more cash to finance the latest in the Staw Wars films. More Jar Jar Binks all around (just kidding). Anyway, here's CHUD's review.

Yes, they shall be mine.

Yahoo! News - Man Survives Historic Plunge Over Niagara
How much do you want to bet he didn't mean to be alive?

UPDATE (from Bill G): Surprise! He just might be nuts. (The Niagara jumper not Bill. Well Bill is too. Never mind.)

10. Cheaper
9. Lower insurance
8. Cops leave you alone
7. People let you merge into traffic
6. Rides like a Caddy
5. Easy to find your car in a crowded parking lot
4. More towing capacity
3. More cargo space
2. Rollers on the floor make loading and unloading cargo much easier.
1. A hearse in the driveway keeps the Jehovah's Witnesses away

Thanks to Bill G for the list. Now have a look at Girls with Hearses right here -- How very Claire from Six Feet Under!

It can kill you. Carol, close the bathroom door please.

Again... of course... *sigh*

The answer to whodunnit is right here.

What Pauly sent me.

Which Rat Pack Member Are You?
Surprise, I'm Dino. Thanks to Jackson (who turned out to be Frank) for the link.

Carol and I went with friends to see the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie this weekend.

It's being a remake of what I thought to be a truly great film gave me some prejudice going in. Also, the fact that Michael Bay (responsible for film attrocities such as Pearl Harbour and the Bad Boys series) produced it gave us pause prior to spending our hard earned movie bucks.

But lately I've found that expecting little or nothing from a film usually pays off huge. This is one of those times I've been pleasantly surprised.

Here's the trailer. Sure it's not George A. Romero's original but it does look interesting.

This guy blew an amazing 0.69 in a breathalyser test. In BC and other provinces in Canada 0.08 is legally drunk but this guy was more than 8 and a half times that. The amazing part is that, according to these estimates, a stoppage of breathing and death usually occurs around 0.450. Good Lord the guy was pickled.

Check out the Sulabh International Museum of Toilets. I don't know what's odder, the fact that there is a toilet museum or this weirdo who runs it.

Looks like John Muhammad is going to be allowed to represent himself.

According to the Quotable Lawyer, edited by David Shrager and Elizabeth Frost, New England Publishing Associates, Inc., 1986, p. 49, that saying is a proverb apparently so old that its original author is not known. They quote it as, "He that is his own lawyer has a fool for a client." They cite Rosalind Fergusson, The Facts on File Dictionary of Proverbs, 1983.

Stolen from here.

FARK's headline about the story: "Sniper suspect John Allen Muhammad fires lawyer and will represent himself. In other news, VA officials begin dusting of the electric chair"

David Blaine ends isolation stunt
Apparently he cried as he left his box. Probably tears of joy in escaping the fart smell.

Email attachments: Find the man's head! Took me about 20 seconds.

Thanks to Matt for the link.

Carol sent me the following so, blame her:

There was this Spanish guy, this Chinese guy and this Russian guy all working for the same construction company. At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to the Spanish guy, "You're in charge of the cement." The Spanish guy nods, "Si."

Then he said to the Russian guy, "You're in charge of the dirt." The Russian guy nods, "Da."

Then he said to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of the supplies." The Chinese guy nods.

Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're fired."

So they all go off to go get their work done.

At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to the Spanish guy. Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to the Russian guy. He looks around for the pile of supplies that would be needed for the next day's work, but can't find it, so he starts getting pretty steamed and hollers "Hey! Where's my supplies?!"

Suddenly, the Chinese guy jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, "SUPPLIES!"

Being a Star Wars fan this looks like the coolest home theatre I could imagine. Click the links at the top left to explore. Wow!

This is too funny. ;)

Studio plans movie based on Cubs fan's now-famous blunder - Oct. 16, 2003
Thanks to Jackson for the link.

Mr. Bergis Pranks: - Nascar Prank - Radio station calls redneck, feat. snoob dogg, queen latifah, puff daddy and more.

Poor angry bastard.

There's also Ned. Teehee!

Prince joins the Jehovahs! Let's go Crazy!

CBC News: Harper, MacKay unwrap new Conservative Party
It's aboout friggin' time! Here in PDF format is the text of the agreement between the Alliance and PC parties creating the new Conservative Party of Canada.

Perhaps the idiot who messed up the Cubs game the other night will take up Jeb Bush's offer and move to Florida before some knuckle dragger in Chicago does him in.

My favourite quote is from this article. It goes:

Alou was more understanding of the basic instinct that causes people like this to reach for baseballs when there should be a voice in their heads telling them, "NOOOOOOO."

"They don't go to school," Alou said, "to be taught what balls not to touch."

CBC News: Malaysian PM: Jews rule the world
Translation: Malaysian PM: "I'm out of my flippin' mind"

CNN.com - New Internet speed record set - Oct. 15, 2003
Thanks to Dirty Dawg for the link.

Finally, Shaw may be getting HBO, ESPN, Fox News, Nickelodeon Kids, Showtime and more! If you're Canadian, please help those of us who want to have access to those channels out by signing the petition on the Shaw page. Even if you don't care it's a nice thing to do. ;)

Check out Twilight Creations Inc - Zombies!!!. It's a board game for those who did flesh chompers! Did I mention I love this stuff?

The Cubs lost their game last night partly as a result of one of their fans wrecking the left-fielder's catch of a foul ball in the 8th inning when the Cubs were ahead 3-0. The Marlins then came back to win the game 8-3. The fan had to be escorted from the stadium by police as rabid Cubs fans wanted to murder the overzealous fan.

If the crowd doesn't get him, and the Cubs go on to lose the series it's my guess that someone will find this poor soul dead by his own hand. How's that for something heavy on the old conscience? Not the kind of noteriety I'd like to live with.

This story pretty much says it all. Looks like 'C*** out Colin' is destined for rehab; sooner rather than later. Even Angelina Jolie thinks it's too much. She was married to Billy Bob Thorton for God's sake.

Her dad says no, but we say yessireee!

The 100 greatest novels of all time
I've read a good majority of these and will probably read the one's I haven't. Although my top five favourites to this point would look a little different (some aren't even on the Observer's booklist):

5. Metamorphosis - by Franz Kafka

4. Lés Miserables - by Victor Hugo

3. L'Etranger aka The Outsider - by Albert Camus

2. Catcher in the Rye - by J.D. Salinger

1. Crime and Punishment - By Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Looking at my list of favourites I see the themes of existentialism, alienantion, loneliness and personal conflict in the books I've chosen. I've spent much of my life feeling as the characters in these books. I guess it's true that what moves a person says a lot about them.

See the planet without even leaving your desk at TrekEarth. I still want to see it myself. This picture of Peggy's Cove really makes me homesick.

I wonder if this notebook is as fast as the cars.

CNN.com - Secret shame: Executives who are tech dummies seek help - Oct. 14, 2003
I personally know a number of executive types who would be well served by this lady's services. As a geek it's refreshing to see this happening. It'll make working in a technical much easier on everyone. Sometimes I feel (and sound) like SNL's Jimmy Fallon as Nick Burns, your company computer guy.

Cheack out PushinDaisies.com for all your undead needs!

Will Arnie be president one day? According to the movie Demolition Man he will be.

Thanks to Jackson for the link.

Half-Life 2 Thief Speaks
I sense a hoax.

Pauly sent this note from friend of his:

"Looking to sell a cheap digital camera - cheap! I don't need it any longer as I'm in the hospital.
I'm including the last photo that I took so that you have some idea about the picture quality."

Here's the picture.

CBC News:Legion's 'Poppy Puppy' angers veteran
Not the all time best of ideas.

New cellular service lets you ditch the landline and keep your listed home number
Finally! Someone's been paying attention.
Thanks to Natas for the link.

Here's a realtor for Vancouver's West End.

Thanks to Pauly for lightening the mood.

Neighbours plead for removal of sprawling tent city near downtown
Bye bye tourist dollars. Hello dirty city. Nothing like going for a picnic near Science World and seeing someone having a shit on the lawn.

The city of Vancouver won't take care of it. It's 'not their problem'. It's the provinces fault or even more laghably, the Parks Board.

Since when is dealing drugs not a crime? Are the police here in this city really as corrupt a everyone seems to be thinking? Seems like it. Senior Vancouver cop to a rookie: "Oh look a drug deal. Wanna go grab a doughnut?"

Anyone wasnt to see a bureaucratic idiotfest in action? Go to a Vancouver city council meeting. It starts off with the councilors being serenaded by over-paid singers and then soon degenerates into a cat fight through which nothing is resolved. Argh!

Yahoo! News - Davis Out, Schwarzenegger Wins in Calif.

This should be an interesting time in Californian politics. Our economy here in BC is heavily reliant on the film industry (to the tune onf $1 Billion) and Arnie says we've stolen the jobs from Californians. First of all we haven't stolen anything, the American companies came to us. We do offer services at a lower cost due in part to the relative weakness of our dollar. Another reason Hollywood loves Vancouver is that our exterior light is better for filmmaking. If anything, our dollar's picking up steam and competition from Australia and New Zealand will probably lose us more film dollars than anything Arnie can do.

We'll see how the Terminator fairs over the next little while. Who knows perhaps on the 6th Day there'll be a Total Recall and Arnie will have to say, "Hasta la vista, baby!"

KILL BILL: MAKING OF - TheMovieBox.Net
You can watch the whole Making of Kill Bill special at the above link.

Yes Lorne, Volume 1 means Volume 2 is on the way. In February 2004 to be exact. The reason they did it this way is that Miramax sees the value that Tarentino's films have given that company, which was pretty much nothing prior to Pulp Fiction, so for this project they wanted to give Quentin final cut. The movie, however, was too long, so he agreed to cut into two volumes. This way we get all the gritty goodness he meant us to see.

People Named Mike and People Named Michael
I think I may order a shirt...

Tampabay: Radio host proclaims he has suicide video
Thanks to Pauly for the link.

I believe that myself and some friends from work are going to do the 24 hour film contest. It could be fun.

We saw Lost in Translation yesterday. Two thumbs up from Carol and I. Bill Murray can actually act. He was still hilarious as well. Cross cultural communication does have it's speed bumps.

Poor Roy was mauled by a tiger and now he's on a respirator and their show is canceled indefinitely. Perhaps he should have read LIFE OF PI: A NOVEL by Yann Martel. The book, which I just finished reading, is a wonderful tale and Canadian to boot.

"After the tragic sinking of a cargo ship, one solitary lifeboat remains bobbing on the wild, blue Pacific.The crew of the surviving vessel consists of a hyena, a zebra (with a broken leg), a female orang-utan, a 450-pound Royal Bengal tiger and Pi - a 16-year-old Indian boy.The scene is set for one of the most extraordinary pieces of literary fiction of recent years." Stolen from here.

kirk vs. picard Who wins?

I believe that euthanasia in terminally ill people is definitely worth a look legislatively. Dying with dignity should be a right, not a privledge or worse yet, as it is now, against the law. My dad is a veterinarian and I saw him euthanizing many terminally ill animals to alleviate their suffering, yet still we humans must suffer until the bitter, often painful, end. If that's not insanity, I don't know what is.

As we saw in the film, The Event, and now in this story, (to which a judge says no), assisted suicide has becoming a hot topic. It's nice to see something this morally charged and formerly so far underground question leap into the mainstream.

Should we really have the right to die? What would the parameters be? How about those who suffer not physically but mentally and emotionally? What about those who cannot make the descision for themselves?

It looks like there's alot to talk about.

Classic Jewish-Food Recipe Archives
The Klezmer midi music is just slaying me. Oy vey!

Does it make me a conservative if I laughed at this?:

A man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job,"

The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around a big black Mercedes, and the suits, shirts, and ties are provided.  Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays trips.  The salary package is $200,000 a year!"

The man said, "You're bullshitting me man!"

The man behind the counter said, "Yeah, well, you started it."

I'm reading this book right now. Just in time for Hallowe'en. As many of you know I am a huge zombie fan and even have a zombie related site of my own.

So far, I like Max Brooks' take on how to survive in a zombie filled world. He even has a list of things you need on Amazon. Yet I'm not sure his facts are in order. Perhaps all those old movies have coloured my perceptions as to what the truth is. There are other opinions out there as well. I have my own ideas that I hope to share with the world in the creation of UnDeadTV.

I could have used some of this last night. Carol's machine was having a little trouble with data transfer. I changed channels on the router and all's well now.

Tales of Superman! - The 1930s
Just in case your technical manuals are driving you insane.

In this post on his message board Moby wonders if the RIAA would sue him for having and sharing MP3s of his own stuff.

Storm Troopers have BBQ's too.

I'd love to make my own costume.

I bet I could kick this one's ass.

Thanks for the link Jackson.

I always thought clowns were creepy. I know this one can kick my ass.

I used to think Space Invaders was cool. You know what? It still is.

It's October 1st today. What does that mean? Hallowe'en is at the end of the month. As we've had so much sun this year, the pumpkins are early and very large. Perhaps< it's time to check out ExtremePumpkins.com for some carving ideas.

More sharks for Carol.