Almost time for a Christmas tree. I need one of these. (It's an ASX video file so you'll need Windows Media Player)

[brody condon 2000-2003]
What an interestingly odd little site. Thanks to Chuff for the link.

I need to find some more of The 12 oddest Christmas hits ever!
I'm going to be listening to the Spike Jones stuff this morning. You can download his Xmas Medley right here (a 1 mb zip file containing an MP3).

I used to love the Chipmunks Christmas stuff as kid, but I don't think I've heard the rest of this. Except maybe the Singing Dogs.

Watch this video (a windows media file) and tell me you didn't laugh or at least shake your head.

Thanks to Lance for the link. No, he's not dead. Close but not quite. He works for eBay now.

Yahoo! News - Parades, Turkeys, Races Mark Thanksgiving
I hope you all have a great Turkey Day and happy Christmas shopping.

CBC News: Harper fires Spencer for remarks on gays
I know I lean more than slightly to the right and, frankly, am sick to death of the Liberal government here in Canada. However, it is remarks like those made by now former family issues critic and MP Larry Spencer that has me truly worried about the state of the right in this country. With jerks like this running their mouths the right doesn't stand a chance.

What era is this turkey living in? His beliefs, according to what I've read, include the delusion that homosexuals have been "recruiting" young boys in playgrounds and locker rooms since the 1960's. In the interview for the Vancouver Sun article that sealed his fate he goes on to say that it should be a crime to be gay and that even Svend Robinson (an openly gay MP) could become straight.

I guess he overdosed on his whacko/bigot pills that day. Give me a break.

Check out iPod's Dirty Secret by the Neistat Brothers. Apparently the iPod's unreplaceable battery last only 18 months and Apple does not offer a new one. Yikes!

Check out PolarHusky.com's Arctic Transect 2004 as a team of 6 educators and explorers with 30 huskies travel 3000 miles across Nunavut. Not just cool. Ice cold, baby.

Here's a nasty one. Let's see what folks think o' them apples.
Thanks to the AmishComputerGuy for the link.

Air Canada Service Staff Get Burger-Coupon Bonus
I can't wait to hear what Carol's uncle, a pilot with Air Canada, has to say about this one.

Okay dog lovers it's time to play Rate My Puppy. I want to take them all home. I love dogs. I don'tt know how Moosh would feel about all those new brothers and sisters though.

Here's the Michael Jackson (the Official Press Room). The information is rather sparse but very to the point. I guess the best way to defend your self, in this case especially, is just to say, "No I didn't". And leave it at that.

Participant at KKK initiation wounded after shots fired into sky
"JOHNSON CITY, Tennessee (AP) -- A bullet fired in the air during a Ku Klux Klan initiation ceremony came down and struck a participant in the head, critically injuring him, authorities said."

The Universe always set things straight, sometimes right in front of you.

Apparently Michael Jackson, like OJ, took the police on a chase around LA as well.

Thanks to Pauly for the picture.

...and a nice chianti! German 'cannibal' tells of regret. It's nice to hear that he's sorry for murdering and eating someone.

Check out this story about probably the dumbest idea for action figures since hitler and serial killer figurines hit the web. What kid wouldn't want a toy that represented our first Prime Minister, the often pie-eyed Sir John A. MacDonald. Uh... Not me. No thanks. Not unless it comes with a handy little flask hidden in his waistcoat and a barf bucket for those particularly taxing parliamentary speeches.

NOTE: These figures were made in China.

Thanks to Viki for the link.

According to RollingStone magazine.

Looks like The Cat in the Hat blows. Thanks to jackson for the link.

Here's a picture of MJ in handcuffs being led into the Santa Barbara County Jail.

Yesterday as Jackson and I were heading out to lunch we thought we saw Lee Majors walk right past us. He was dressed (oddly enough) in a track suit and had a towel around his neck. He looked as though he was coming from working out. And also, I might add, looked a little older than I remember him. Jackson said we should have chased him down the street him making the bionic sound effect noise, but as we weren't sure it was him and didn't want to give an innocent pedestrian a stroke we decided against it.

We should have done it. This morning on CKNW I heard that it was him after all as he's in town shooting sceens for a guest appearance in Jake 2.0, a show about a guy turned superhero / secret agent after he is shot and brought back to life with nanotechnology that gives him superhuman strength and amazing powers. Sound sort of familiar? Very Steve Austin if you ask me. My guess is that the Bionic Man has been resurrected for this show. It could be good to see him back in action. I'm not sure he's done anything since the Fall Guy.

Jackson said a friend of his does transportation co-ordination on Jake 2.0 and he may be able to swing an autograph for me. Coolio!

I loved the Six Million Dollar Man and even had the toys. Listen to the theme right here (199kb .AU file) whilst reading below:

Pauly has lost his mind. He was out shopping and decided to pick me up a plastic figurine of what appears to be a moustachioed and floppy hatted Frenchman taking a pee, most likely on a wall in gay ol' Paris (said Pareee). He said he picked it up at a gag shop here in town and instantly thought of me for some odd reason. That's sad.

Anyway, what better thing to do than to scan it and share it with followers of the old blog. So as you can see from the scanned image at left and the image here of Pee Guy out of his packaging this gentleman's smug expression of relief coupled with his steady stream of urine is nothing short of priceless. When you've got to go you've got to go. Couth be damned.

It does remind me of my trip to Paris in 1985 where one evening found me tipsy in the Metro station laughing at another drunk who had urinated all over himself and passed out on a bench with his willy still hanging free. Ah! There is nothing so lovely as Paris in the spring time.

If you want a Pee Guy of your own you can get a catalog from Accoutrements.com and order one.

Thanks Pauly!

A Jacuzzi with a 43" TV and a cheapy toilet like this.

It's also National Ammo Day. Thanks Jackson!

Arrest Warrant Issued for Michael Jackson; Charges Unspecified
Surprise!

I haven't seen a Cow Magnet since I was a kid. Dad, being a veterinarian, had them laying around in his 'on call kit'.

CAUTION: dirty joke ahead...

The owner of a horse farm receives a call from a friend, who informs him of a midget with a speech impediment who's interested in buying a horse. The owner has him send the midget over.

The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. “A female horth,” replies the midget. So the owner shows him one.

“Nith looking horth, can I thee her mouf?” So the owners picks up the midget and shows him the horse’s mouth.

“Nith mouf, Can I thee her eyeth?” Promptly, the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse’s eyes.

“Ok, what about the eerth?” At this point, the owner is becoming aggravated, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows him the ears.

“OK, finally, can I see her twat?” With that, the owner picks up the midget and shoves his head into the horse’s crotch, then pulls him out.

Shaking his head, the midget laments, “Perhapth I thould rephrathe that. Can I thee her wun awownd?”

Happy World Toilet Day from the World Toilet Organization

It's much easier to deal with if you're expecting it. Fun for girls and boys. Download a 60 day free trial of PMS Alert and you'll better know for those two months when to duck and cover.

Yahoo! News - Police Search Michael Jackson's Ranch
I wonder what they're looking for?

This reminds me of a few terrible jokes:

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?

A: The big hand is touching the little hand.

and...

Q: What's the diffrence between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?

A: The one is made of plastic and is dangerous to children, the other is for carrying groceries.

And the nastiest...

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?

A: They both have boys underwear half-off!

Thank God I don't eat sugar like I did. I know I would try this crap and, most likely, barf.

Here are The Greatest Album Covers That Never Were. Artists chose their favourite musicians and did album covers for them. Some of them are quite interesting.

Chretien to retire early
Ding dong the dork will be gone on December 12, 2003. Only to be replaced by another fatcat who refuses to make any changes.

Strangely enough it was Pauly, the most rabid Leafs fan ever, who sent this. He claims it was to head others off at the pass but my guess is it has more to to with Pauly's wanting to pick up a uniform just like Peter Pan's.

Every religion has it's cults. I know peole who have been involved in the Worldwide Church of God (for one), mentioned in that previous link. It was pretty crazy. I'm not sure how anyone can live by all those whacky rules.

Some take things way too far. Like Jonestown.

I can't believe that this happened almost 25 years ago. I was only 9 when Rev Jim Jones had his followers drink his poisoned koolaid, but remember the Jonestown tragedy like it was yesterday. The photos in Time Magazine and the video from the site on the news has been burned into my brain ever since. So tragic. Especially the children. More than 900 people. Talk about collective insanity.

Killer cults seem to be a recurring theme in western society. Every few years there are people willing to give up the ghost at the behest of some crazy guru for the promise of a better life on 'the other side'. It must be our empty, materialistic values driving people to look for 'deeper meaning'. Too bad some of us find it with whackos.

CBC News: Muhammad guilty in sniper murder case
This phase of the Washington sniper's trial is over with him found guilty of capital murder. Next on the agenda is sentencing.

What's on the menu? Not that I agree with the death penalty, but my guess is fried sniper.

That's it. Carol has completely lost her mind. She wants to spend 250 bucks on a Roomba Robotic Floorvac. And yes, she's serious.

I dunno. I'm not sure I believe the hype. How will it work in our place? How do you program it? Will it really clean up while we're away or will it sit on the couch eating bon bons and watching soap operas?

According to Time Magazine this just may be the beginning of the end. I'm inclined to agree.

Please help to Save The Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus. We can't afford to lose this valuable resource.

Check out Ooze Magazine's European Sewer Tour. You can plan to go look at shit on your holidays. Hooray!

Need a Death Ray, Atomic Blaster, or New Combat Robot for your Space Age Lounge? Check out Brotron.com. Click on the robot to enter. The death ray made by electrolux is especially fun. If you have Quicktime installed the Test Footage is worth a look too.

This video is not for little eyes. It's funny as hell though. Thanks to Pauly (former booby bar DJ) for the link.

Check out Your All Gay. Lance sent it and no I didn't spell it wrong.

Could it be true? I sure hope so. According to ESplatter it looks as though George Romero, of Night of the Living Dead fame, is set to do a fourth zombie film.

Get it off your chest at grouphug.us. Thanks to Nicole and Jackson for passing this gem along.

Stone: Worster Album Covers Ever II
Keep 'em coming. Thanks Jackson. The picture of The Braillettes is wrong in so many ways, but who cares? They can't see it anyway.

UPDATE: maybe it's not so wrong at all. Bill G just sent me a link to The Blind Boys.

TIME Magazine has put together a list of what they believe to be the Coolest Inventions of 2003. The Robotic Cat is kind of interesting in a 'I don't want to bother feeding it' kind of way.

I am a huge fan of Google and we deal with them quite a bit here at work. Melissa, the marketing manager, had a Google pen that I coveted every time she brought it out, so she said she'd get me one the next time the rep from Google was here. He came today so, the pen you see above (glowing red), is my Google pen. It glows various colours when you click a little button on the top and flashes through all the colours in one mode. I also got a Google branded T-Shirt and a notebook which I'm giving to Carol. I'm Mr Google today. Thanks Melissa.

I had one of these when I was a munchkin and I think I may buy another. It always made me feel better punching a stupid looking clown about the head and body.

And with the Christmas season fast approaching who wouldn't want a 20 inch replica of the lamp from A Christmas Story.

Now I hate it even more. Thanks Jackson.

The Smoking Gun brings you the court documents from Gary Ridgway's guilty pleas.

Skippy the Goth Kangaroo - A silly short animation by Mata

Yahoo! News - Traffic-Signal Change Devices a Concern
The lights in Maple Ridge are hooked up this way and many a time I have thought taht I would like to have one of the gizmos that ambulances and other emergency vehicles have. Cruising through lights would be fun, but if everyone had one of these driving would be a nightmare.

Just what my morbid little brain needs. Another disaster film. You can check out the trailer right here. Thanks to DoubleDude for pointing this out.

'It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!'

I've seen 20Q before but am always amazed. It got reindeer in 16 questions.

Thanks to Christian for the link.

KIROTV.com - Green River Murders - History-Making Day In Green River Murders Case
I'm watching now. Hideous. This guy is owning up to 48 of the Green River killings. The court is reading a statement from him. I'm the ghoulish person I know, but even I find this disturbing. This man is a monster, but as with most serial killers you wouldn't give him a second look when passing him in the street.

I've never heard someone say guilty so many times in my life.

Here's his statement.

Thanks to Paulie for the heads up on these events.

Yahoo! News - Attention Web Bounty Hunters: $500,000 Reward
Put that money to some good use there Billy!

Elliot sent me this link to a short about how to tell when your relationship is over. It's from a 90 second film festival in Australia.

Check out this article that Jackson sent me about Jack Black and his Musical partner going on a hunger strike for 45 days. As Jack could stand to lose a couple of lbs it might do him well, but I don't hold much hope for the stunt, obviously poking fun at David Blaine's recent oh-so self indulgent time in his own little plexiglass box. My guess is that they make it 3 hours before Jack requires a doughnut infusion.

Check out this review (lots of cussing in this article) of Call of Duty. I bought it this weekend and have been having a great time playing. A lot of the dudes I usually play Medal of Honor with are playing this now.

I've never played the game but have seen the movies. The Alien vs. Predator - Featurette was interesting enough. I think I may want to have a peek at this flick when it comes out.

It's Razanne, the Muslim version of Barbie. All the good little girls are getting them for Ramadan.

This article on CNN explains the what and why of how we react to horror movies