Forbes.com has put out their list of the world's richest people for 2004. William Gates III tops the list again (of course) with a whopping $46.6 billion.

Interestingly enough numbers 6 through 10 on the belong to the Walton family (not the one's on Walton's Mountain) of Walmart. All 5 are worth $20 billion each. That's right 20 billion - EACH! That makes a family total of $100 billion plus. Good God! If Walmart founder Sam Walton were still alive his personal wealth would dwarf Bill Gates'. As a result of their vast wealth and questionable practices Walmart is often under fire from the Anti-Globalization folks and many others who think we should boycott Walmart. With all the hooplah they continue to do very well for themselves.

I can't imagine what one has to do to make that kind of cash. It's unfathomable to me even to be ahead at all. As someone who's swimming in debt to the tunes of multiple thousands it doesn't even remotely compute. Take away all my debt and I'm still only a multi-thousandaire. I have a long way to go before I catch Billy and The Waltons!

Check out P-Unit!. They're not so hardcore rappers from Princeton. They threw down a kickass rap tune called "Generic Rap Song" that you can download right herrre. There's a video on their site too. Yeah!

P-P-P... P-P-P... P-Unit!

I'm beginning the process of incorporating a film production company. I'm calling it ZombieFreak Media Productions (I'll add LTD or INC later). Here's the design I came up with a logo and business card design. I'll put all the info, like phone number and email on the back of it before it goes to the printer but I'm not posting it here. Spammers and telemarketers = Blech! Anyway, here's the card:


Pretty cool, huh?

Anyway, I'll also be redesigning my site, ZombieFreak.com to be more representative of a media company. Once I figure out what that entails it should be a cinch.

Masturbation protects against prostate cancer: study
Do you want to bet that it was men who funded and carried out this study? Regardless it's nothing but good news. Strangely enough this link is thanks to my wife, Carol. I'll be in the bathroom with the latest Hustler 'taking care of my health'.

Beat it like it owes you money boys. We wouldn't want prostate cancer.

After ranting about the storm in NS so much I thought the following was worth posting:

"Here is a photo of the damage from the terrible coastal storm that passed through Victoria last week. Most people stayed home and most schools were cancelled. It really makes you cherish what you have, and reminds us not to take life for granted.

Warning: Following picture is quite graphic and may not be suitable for younger viewers"

Click Here to see the picture.

The horror!

Thanks to everyone who sent this. Again, I am so glad I live in BC.

In high school my friend Omar, whose dad was the autopsy doc in town, had the best pin on his lapel. It read "dead people are cool". Having been around a number of dead people I can assure you they are quite cool. You and I, unless you have a fever or are hypothermic, have a body temperature of roughly 98.6 degrees. But anyway, the reason for this post is findadeath.com where you can view the death certificates of famous dead folks and a lot more.

As many of you have noted I have sort of a weird fascination with death and dying and have had a variety of brushes with it.

I got started with death early. I had nightmares about mummies and dead people 'coming to get me' when I was just a wee lad. I'm not sure where I learned about them, but I have been terrified of death and the dead for as long as I can remember.

My grandmother's house at 55 Phoenix street in Bridgewater was attached to and owned by Sweeny's Funeral Home. I believe she even answered the phone for them for a while. Also she was the deputy registrar for the County of Lunenburg until her death in 1999 at 90 (when she was buried by the Sweenys). She was responsible to fill out all the death certificates within the county. She worked closely with all the funeral homes in the area. The owner of the local crematorium, whom she used to call, "Doodle Drawers" used to try his best to convince her to get cremated telling her it was all nice and warm in there. She would just slap his arm laughing and say in her Lunenburg drawl, "Oh da Lord!" It was all very Six Feet Under meets Green Acres.

I worked as map maker at the local cemetery for a time and then as a grave digger for two years after my map making contract ran out. I saw and learned a lot there and was even involved in an exhumation.

In the mid 1990's I was working security to offset my lack of income from being a wannabe actor at Vancouver Hospital, where patrolling the morgue was part of my duties, when one of my co-workers dropped dead. It was Bob R's first night on the job. We had to run up the stairs for a fire alarm on the 6th floor. Once we found it was a false alarm we returned to the 4th floor to reset the alarm panel. On the way down the stairs Bob was really out of breath and blanched white. I said to Tim, who was training him, "I don't think Bob is going to make it." He didn't. Tim and Bob entered the alarm room and moments later Tim was on the radio for us to get our asses into the room. Bob was on the floor in full cardiac arrest. Tim said, "He's having a heart attack" and at that moment everything let go. I actually saw a man die. One moment he was there, the next, definitely not. Tim, quickly arriving paramedics and the cardiac team tried to revive Bob for 45 minutes to no avail. I had nightmares for months and had to really deal with the fact of my own mortality.

The dead have stories to tell as well. I'm always curious about cemeteries around the world. I have visited some of the most famous, from Napolean's Tomb in Paris to Hollywood Forever in LA (pictures taken by me on our LA Trip). One day I plan to go to Egypt to see the Valley of the Kings and the Pyramids.

Call me morbid, creepy or whatever, but learning about and experiencing so closely something that I've been afraid of for so long has helped me to come to terms with it.

"This was found in a swimming pool in Miami.

First look at the picture and see the shark under the water... then move your mouse cursor onto the picture...
Oh and it has sound effects ...

Click here: Worlds Most Dangerous Creature"

Thanks for the funny Alannah!

Well, my blog is either

Not as evil as I thought (or would like) but evil enough. That all depends on who you ask and which way the wind is blowing.

I got the info from this site that Bubba Gump sent me. I guess he's bored in Fort Worth today.

NOTE: After I placed the links site on my site it all of a sudden became only 13% evil. I guess it changes as the words do as I'm sure it will after I post this update.

NOTE 2: Yep it did!

NOTE 3: My name, Mike Browne: 16% evil, 84% good! Wow am I good! But wait! My full name Michael Christopher Browne: 1% evil, 99% good. Holy crap! I'll be turning water into wine this weekend at the Save On in Maple Ridge and walking across Burrard Inlet in front of a crowd tomorrow morning. Expect to see me nailed to a cross around the equinox.

Big Al Mac sent me this link to photos sent in to Nova Scotia's Chronicle Herald newspaper by it's readers. We used to call the paper the Chronically Horrid, just because it sounded funny, not necessarily because it was.

Dad said that it took him three hours to clear the driveway after the recent storm. Normally it takes him 30 - 45 minutes. Dad also said that the accumulation of snow in the backyard through the winter is up to his hip!

At my uncle's home in Dartmouth, as access is through a back lane, going was so tough that they gave up after five hours of digging and decided to wait for a backhoe. There is so much clearing to be done that the city hasn't fully plowed the sidewalks yet and it's going on a week.

Again I'm glad I live in Vancouver.

Kisses - the sexy urinal

Could this be true? What a coup for the Bush administration if it is. Go get him! Here's another article with a little more info.

Jackson sent me this link.

It was just a matter of time before we were to see a story like this. I've spotted young Asian males with more than one LCD screen embedded into the seats of their cars here in the Lower Mainland. Often I've seen them watching bizarre music videos or kung fu DVD's whilst yimmering on their tiny cell phones and driving like cats with their asses on fire down Lougheed Highway.

Multi-taskers can be very valuable to an employer but how many hands did the guy in the story in this video have?

Things overheard at the STD clinic

My favourite: "My pee smells like ham."

Thanks to Amadou for the link

Ping Pong anyone? Thanks Jackson, but GD it I suck.

You can change the screensaver on this link to say what you would like it to. Thanks to matt for the link.

My friend Ken sent me a link to some NS snow storm photos that he took around his yard this morning. It looks like snow accumulated over a winter but this is from one day! His message was "Teresa and I had to tunnel our way to the front door. Still waiting for the main road to be plowed, then I'll see if I can get my truck dug out."

I'm amazed at the amount of snow they received in one day. The news said that some parts of Nova Scotia received 90cm (3 feet) of snow in a 24 hour period. The weather looks better today. Now it's time to dig themselves out.

I spoke with Mom and Dad last evening as well. They said that for the first in the history of the 911 system in NS, Nova Scotia's Emergency Health Services had declared a "Code Black" for the whole province. "Code Black" means ambulances, accompanied by snow plows, are responding to people with life-threatening injuries or illnesses first. Doctors and paramedics are screening 911 calls to determine whether or not people should actually wait to get medical attention. Yikes! Mom held the phone out the front door so I could hear the wind blowing up the street.

UPDATE (13:51 Pacific): Big Al Mac sent me this link with pictures of Bridgewater taken yesterday morning before another full day of snow. Al and I grew up there and my folks and his dad still live there. Paulins Corner store mentioned in story on the link is the store where as a kid I used to go and spend my allowance on candy and other junk. Apparently Nova Scotia is dues for another 15 to 25 cm of snow on the weekend.

More Pictures from a Haligonian's blog. Some more right here and here and here.

By the looks of this I quit smoking 6 years too early. Maybe not. It doesn't mention anything about emphysema. I can't help it. Even after this long without a single cigarette my head instantly goes to a place where at the slightest inkling of my being able to get away with it smoking appears to be a good idea again. Ugh!

Like I want to pay 8 bucks a pack for the 1 and a half packs I smoked everyday. Not to mention the whole smelling like and ashtray and being addicted to something so badly it ruled my life.

"No I can't eat/work/live there because I am unable to smoke." Yuck!

No thanks. Smoke free is good for me. That's the truth.

The Breast Cancer Site : Fund Mammograms for Free.

James Chan sent me the site this morning with this message:

"This will take one moment of your time & it is very much worth it.

Please tell ten friends to tell ten today. The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate a mammogram in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site!

Please pass it along to 10 people you know."

So, rather than email ten people I know at least a few of the at least 20 people who read my drivel daily will click.

Pauly sent this so blame him:

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him ... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)

A super callused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis.

Here's what can happen when you forego a seatbelt. Eek! Thanks to Bubba for the link.

Classic '80s Games : Play Now! Pac man, Asteroids, Tetris, Duck Hunt, Frogger and more all wthout a quarter. Super Cool!

And yes. I lied my ass off... or did I? Calibrate the transmitters in the walls for me. Chickens from Jupiter are setting up to rule the world.

Upon request I added a printer friendly link option for my posts. Thos of you who have tried know that right click and copy doesn't work so good with Nucleus (the software this blog runs on). Well now it's fixed. The [printer friendly version!] link is beside the comments link below each post. Try it out.

Should I really "shake it like a Polaroid picture?" In a word: no

Now this is hilarious Nutrigrain ad. Weird but funny as hell. You'll need quicktime to see it.

Here's another about a 3 year old.

This one made me yawn. I can't stop.

This one has a never ending bottle of beer. Eeek!

In this one Ted is a lunatic.

And finally this one about cruelty to pinatas.

Proof that Jackson is the king of links. He found SHAT-Lessons a page about how to speak like William Shatner on Dave Barry's Blog. FYI: Shat is one of Carol's favourite words.

Cheesus Industries - Home of Cheddar Cheesus

It sounds to me like the boys from South Park are taking their shot at Quebeckers with The French Canada Song (803kb Mp3). Pretty funny stuff. Oh wait, does that make me a racist? I guess I shouldn't be laughing.

I bet this will piss people off too. Not as much as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog's video (here it is by the way at an updated link as of Feb 16 2004) which was fairly nasty and has really got people talking.

Thanks to Jackson for some more links.

I took the comments into consideration and made the change back to the dark blue based skin. I think it's more representative of the attitude of the content. I know change is very difficult for most people. Perhaps, rather than such a huge departure I'll funk it up some other way. Maybe a new header in place of the text title.

The new picture and the calendar are staying. :p

The only reason I ddin't have a photo up before is because I was such a fat ass and was embarassed of how I looked.

Change - good! Stale - bad!

China executes serial killer
This guy was accused of 67 murders and 23 rapes. The trial only took an hour.

I took a look at the colour changes you see for Valentines Day. But I think I'll keep it permanently. The black text on a white background is easier to read. The reds are nice and it has a more 'Canadian' look. The colours are actually based the school colours from my high school (I can't believe I grauated 17 years ago). The photo looks even better, even though schlemiel is right it looks like a George Bush campaign poster. Hehe! I based it on a newspaper reporter's byline picture. Finally, I added a calendar to make navigating through days a little easier.

Hi folks. It's the one day of the year that lonely, single folks feel sad and desparate and couples fight because someone forgot or cheaped out on a gift. Fun! Fun! Thanks to Hallmark for creating another holiday (just kidding) to force us to feel guilty and spend money on overpriced cards.


Some people really hate Valentines Day. I guess it's okay.

Carol and I keep it simple. Low carb Purdys chocolates for me from her and a bunch of flowers for her from FTD.

Here's a link to mp3's of DJ Danger Mouse's The Grey Album. He remixed Jay Z's Black Album and The Beatles' White Album to make one kickass record. But the record companies want this album to go away. There are only 3000 physical copies out there and EMI has asked the stores distributing them to destroy them.

Copyright law really sucks in this case. It's more about the record companies and money than it is about the protection of artists. What are we missing that would set the world on fire creatively as a result?

Copyright law in Canada is a little different. You can read about it right here. The Act contains a special exception for “private copying”: it permits the copying of music files “onto an audio recording medium for the private use of the person who makes the copy”, but does not permit copying for the purpose of “distributing” or “communicating to the public by telecommunication”.

So uploading 'bad'. Downloading? Kind of grey...

Check out Electronic Frontier Canada, a Canadian group pushing for the legalization of file sharing on the web.

Fistfight erupts over tickets to see the Dalai Lama
Carol is going to see the Dalai Lama with a friend of hers. I hope neither of them gets beat up.

Thanks to Lance for the link.

I changed some style and layout elements for this blog today. I added some links and tidied up a few categories on the left navigation. I also did a new graphic. Hope it's not too hideous.

I'm not sure what grain and soybean prices have to do with sports. My guess is that they get news feeds from elsewhere that are automatically posted if they have keywords in them. Odds are that the words 'trade' and 'Chicago' are tagged. We're hoping to see Alex Zhamnov come to Vancouver from Chicago. Perhaps this is an omen or the universe's way of playing a cruel joke.

Thanks to Lance for the odd link.

Check this out. Make sure you do a search too. LOL! Thanks to Bill G for the link.

Check out Living Children :: COSI's Virtual Knee Surgery Exhibit. Jackson sent it. Thanks. I think.

That *THUD* you just heard was me fainting

It's over. I guess Barbie is way to plastic for Ken.

It's not all one sided though. Ken just doesn't have what it takes to please Barbie. Pull down his pants and see.

Thanks to Lance for the link. He's crying and playing with his Barbies right now.

In this game you have to hit the peguin out of the air onto a target with a snowball. Not as easy as it appears, but another addictive game. I got 563.1 just mucking about.

The following is pretty much exactly what I used to be like when I was drinking:

What kind of drunk are you? I'm a Sloppy Drunk You are a liability in public places, because you tend to elbow glasses, knock into wobbly tables and back into waitresses holding full pitchers. You probably wake up in the mornings wondering where you got all those bruises. You're embarrassing, but amusing to watch as well.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

No, the photo is not of me,but oddly enough it is rather representative of a former life. All but the girl that is. She would have run away.

EatBabies.com
It's a joke. Albeit a sick one but it is a joke all the same.

This morning I read an anti-Atkins article. Turns out it's a big fat crock of shit. Surprise! The PETA pinheads are at it again. The only truly strict vegan I've ever known stank of farts all the time as she ate too much cabbage. Ugh. Obviously the smell has gone to their heads. The poor guy is barely cold and his widow has had to respond to their idiocy. Shame on them. They are the kind of people who would help an animal before a person; stupid and heartless. PETA is even opposed to the use of seeing-eye dogs.

The roast beef I'm eating is yummy. I love eating dead animals. Mmmmmm. Meat! Kill the cattle. Kill the pigs. Kill the chickens. Leave my doggy alone. Come and get me. Tards!

I think People Eating Tasty Animals has more on the ball.

That's right. PETA Sucks!

Maybe the Carnivegans are right. Killing and eating plants is cruel. Stop the vegecide!

Also, check out ConsumerFreedom.com.

CORRECT USAGE: The creators of Adobe® Photoshop® software are very uptight.

Here's proof.

Thanks to Matt S for the link.

Finally! I guess George Lucas needs some quick cash.

Here's one for kitty lovers Pauly and Jackson.

Do it! (no there's nothing else)

Just when I tought we had every appliance known to mankind something like this comes along. Gift for Carol's next birthday perhaps?

Stewie Griffin (Family Guy) Soundboard

The Beatles : First US visit

It's been 40 years since they invaded. Ed Sullivan never knew what hit him. Still the coolest band ever.

Live Coffin Cam Now with New image every 10 seconds!

It's true. The constantly refreshing photo on the left is a guy who's been in the ground since April 15th of last year. As someone who has worked in a cemetery the minimal rate of decomposition you see is pretty much what you can expect of someone buried in a dry climate. I'm sure in another year or so you'll be able to see some more.

Ain't embalming and funerary make up great?

Take this test to see if you're drunk or not.

Benj Edwards at Request-A-Song.com wrote, performed and encoded to MP3 a little ditty called I Saw Janet Jackson's Boob. Pretty funny stuff.

William Hung: A Real American Idol! The Online Tribute to Will Hung a.k.a. Hong Kong Ricky Martin.

I have no musical training!

CBC News: CBC puts Cherry on 7-second delay
Free speech? What the hell is that?

On March 3 2004 on ABC a Stephen King Miniseries called Kingdom Hospital is slated to start. Check out the website. It looks like a real hospital's site, but things are not as they appear. The star studded show was filmed right here in Vancouver.

The French are weird. Here's proof. Thanks to Bill G for the link.

To heck with plasma I need a Helio Display! Thanks to Bubbagump for the link.

SOS Because 2004 is 20 years too late.

What's all the fuss about? This is funny!

Check out this story that Jackson sent. Apparently the tale of the Beverly Hillbillies has some truth to it.

Remember?

Come 'n listen to my story 'bout a man named Jed
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed
And then one day, he was shootin' at some food
And up through the ground come a bubblin' crude
Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea

Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire
Kin folk said, Jed, move away from there
Said, Californy is the place you oughta be
So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly
Hills, that is, swimmin' pools, movie stars

Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin
They would like to thank you folks for kindly droppin' in
You're all invited back again to this locality
To have a heapin' helpin' of their hospitality
Hillbilly, that is, set a spell, take your shoes off

Y'all come back now, hear?

Bill Maher, who used to host Politically Incorrect, and has a penchant for running off at the mouth has his own blog. Now we can read his thoughts as he posts them. He makes Jackson 'cranky'.

Yes, we're circling the drain now.

Cannibal Attracts Interest from Filmmakers
There have been some great films directly and loosely based on murderers and serial killers. For example Silence of the Lambs, Psycho and Texas Chainsaw Massacre were all based on the strange case of the oh-so creepy Ed Gein from Wisconsin. A film about a cannibal killer with a willing victim has to be scary.

Here's a recipe (a picture of a boob so not safe for work) for Janet Jackson booby-cakes.

Here's one for Tyler.

Yes Li'l G n'R is a group of kids brought together as a Guns and Roses tribute band. A video of the auditions for Li'l G n'R is right here. If you're getting to NYC any time soon you can see the kids at CBGB (yes the same one that spawned the Ramones) on February 22, 2004 at 6pm. Tickets are only $5.00. That's about what the latest incarnation of Big G n'R is worth. Blech!

GoogObits: Obituaries and essays augmented by Google searches. There is a lot to learn from the dead.

Badger Badger Badger ...

I am getting so tired of this. But it is interesting to see how all the crazies involved are reacting to this situation.

It looks as though the rippee is out of the Grammys. Who cares about Janet Jackson really? Let's make an example of the hasbeen. She doesn't pay the bills. Do you wanna bet the ripper is still in? It's worth too much to CBS's bottom line to lose a star a big as he is. Much too expensive to grow true principles all of a sudden. He'll show up and make a mockery of the whole affair. Why not? He's been given the forum again and again.

The NFL is trying to look pissed off. The Pro Bowl has axed one of Timberlake's n'Stink bandmates from it's show. Thank God. We wouldn't want to chance one of those whackos whipping out something else. He'll be replaced by Raffi speaking into his Banana Phone.

All this fuss over one boob is a bit much. There should constantly be bare boobs (I mean breasts not the celebs themselves) on TV. That way when one shows up unexpectedly no one has to fall on a sword as we'll all be used to the sight of the vile things.

MTV.com - News -The Pixies - Yes, All Of Them - Gather For Rehearsal, Announce Tour Plans
Being the band that heavily influenced Nirvana's sound, taking in this reunion tour just may be the thing to do.

Nicole sent me this flash movie. It about sums it up.

Jethro Tull Star's Sex-Change Op

Okay. You're 66 years old and have had your twig and berries for all that time. What on Earth, other than a complete mental meltdown, would prompt a change now?

"Aqualung!"

Prance around playing your weird assed flute, get your weiner lopped off and grow some boobies.

Thanks to Carol for the strangest link today. Yes, it's stranger than the cannibal and his willing victim.

Will Ferrell is at it again. Anchorman looks like a ton of fun!

Thanks to Nicole for the heads up on this one.

Sinkholes, terorrism and earthquakes! Oh my! There are so many things to be afraid of nowadays. I need a place like The Ultimate Secure Home in Durango Colorado to keep me safe from all of those horrific things.

It's a hobbit hole! Tricksie hobbitses! They hides in the ground!

It appears Durango has a Walmart and even a McDonalds so I guess it can't be all that bad. Like hiding in plain sight I guess.

Not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach:
Home is where the heart is — and the lungs, liver and kidneys too.

Mike The Headless Chicken for President.

scary squirrel world - squirrel photos, pictures, pics, facts, games... squirrels

Q: What's your name little fella?

A: It's Jon Blake Cusack 2.0.

Thanks to Lance for the link.

The Super Bowl party we had here at work was a gas. Perhaps due to the mounds of chili and other various spicy meat treats. There was much gambling and lots of howling at this year's ads were not bad. The Shards o' Glass freeze pops ad was especially poignant although some of the older ads have been better.

Although the game was a little boring at first it did pick up. New England won, but didn't cover the spread. There'll be some sportbooks smarting from that this morning no doubt.

The biggest news is that Michael is not the only attention seeking moron in the Jackson family. Janet let it all hang out with n'Stynker Justin Timberlake during yesterday's half-time show. CBS is apologizing for the 'slip up' but it looked intentional to me.

I totally missed the streaker.

UPDATE : It really is Nipplegate. Thanks Jackson!

This is retarded.