Check out the recap of last night's game. The Canucks played with the heart and determination that has been missing of late. Hopefully they can keep it up well into the play offs.

The Canucks finally beat the Sharks and at a crucial time as well. After losing 8 of the last 10 meetings with San José the Canuckleheads pulled a rabbit out of their hats in the form of their defensemen Mathias Ohlund who scored a goal and Brent Sopel (struggling defensively of late) who assisted on Ohlund's marker and scored two goals of his own including the game winner in OT.

The team only has 18 more games to go before the playoffs and are within two points of Colorado who currently lead the division. Tomorrow night the Canucks battle the St Louis Blues in what promises to be a spirited affair. Watch for Bertuzzi and Pronger, the two big 44's, to be in each other's faces all night long.

Being an actor I started my picks and predictions off with those categories. Now it's time for me to pick the other majors. I know I haven't seen all of these films (it will be obvious which ones) and should probably reserve my opinions until after I've seen them all but, that wouldn't be as fun. So, I'm going to spew out my comments anyway. Here are my picks for the other major categories and no, Best Song is not major to me:

Original Screenplay (fairly clear cut)
"The Barbarian Invasions" - Conan movie?
"Dirty Pretty Things" - Porn?
"Finding Nemo" - Funny, but it was a cartoon for God's sake.
"In America" - It appears I have to see this. It keeps popping up.
"Lost in Translation" - Obviously. Sophia wins. Come on. Own up to it. Daddy wrote this one.

Adapted Screenplay (not so obvious but here goes)
"American Splendor" - Cranky reality comic guy? My pick.
"City of God" - This was a movie?
"The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" - Too much latent gayness
"Mystic River" - I figured this one out in the first 45 minutes. The Academy may just be this stupid.
"Seabiscuit" - Feel good propaganda. Nice but a dead horse. Not this year.

Directing
"City of God" Fernando Meirelles - Sounds Spanish
"The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" - Peter Jackson - My pick. For his "body of work" encompassing all three films. Sophia is nipping at his hobbity heels though.
"Lost in Translation" Sofia Coppola - You just got an Oscar for writing. You can stay in your seat. Even though you have the best chance next to Jackson.
"Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World" Peter Weir - Weir: "How did I get here?"
"Mystic River" Clint Eastwood - Not going to make his day.

Best picture (another tight race)
"The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" - Trixie hobbitses! They lose us the Oscar for being to gay.
"Lost in Translation" - You can get up again Sophia. The Oscar is yours.
"Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World" - It was okay but definitely not best picture
"Mystic River" - Not really too mystical if you ask me. Predictable to a fault.
"Seabiscuit" - This horse is not in the running.

So there you have it. I may be way off but, who cares. I had fun. Good luck nominees!

Forbes.com has put out their list of the world's richest people for 2004. William Gates III tops the list again (of course) with a whopping $46.6 billion.

Interestingly enough numbers 6 through 10 on the belong to the Walton family (not the one's on Walton's Mountain) of Walmart. All 5 are worth $20 billion each. That's right 20 billion - EACH! That makes a family total of $100 billion plus. Good God! If Walmart founder Sam Walton were still alive his personal wealth would dwarf Bill Gates'. As a result of their vast wealth and questionable practices Walmart is often under fire from the Anti-Globalization folks and many others who think we should boycott Walmart. With all the hooplah they continue to do very well for themselves.

I can't imagine what one has to do to make that kind of cash. It's unfathomable to me even to be ahead at all. As someone who's swimming in debt to the tunes of multiple thousands it doesn't even remotely compute. Take away all my debt and I'm still only a multi-thousandaire. I have a long way to go before I catch Billy and The Waltons!

I'm excited about seeing Broken Lizard's Club Dread. They even have a regularly updated blog on their site. Very cool! Their first movie, Super Troopers, was hilarious. So much so I bought the DVD and have watched it a number of times. It still makes me laugh. Their humour, however, isn't for everyone. I have the emotional maturity of a 14 year old so it fits me very well.

Check out P-Unit!. They're not so hardcore rappers from Princeton. They threw down a kickass rap tune called "Generic Rap Song" that you can download right herrre. There's a video on their site too. Yeah!

P-P-P... P-P-P... P-Unit!

I'm beginning the process of incorporating a film production company. I'm calling it ZombieFreak Media Productions (I'll add LTD or INC later). Here's the design I came up with a logo and business card design. I'll put all the info, like phone number and email on the back of it before it goes to the printer but I'm not posting it here. Spammers and telemarketers = Blech! Anyway, here's the card:


Pretty cool, huh?

Anyway, I'll also be redesigning my site, ZombieFreak.com to be more representative of a media company. Once I figure out what that entails it should be a cinch.

The Official Website of Dawn of the Dead is finally up. I, of course, have joined the Zombie Army - Official Fansite for Dawn of the Dead. The more these link get clicked through my my readers the better chance I ahve a cool zombie shwag. An you know what a great fan of zombies I am. I run ZombieFreak.com for goodness sake.

Anyway, here's the Official Trailer, Dawn of the Dead - QuickTime

For more info and to join in on Dawn of the Dead discussions check out:
CHUD's Official "Dawn of the Dead" (2004) Discussion
and
IMDb's Message Board for Dawn of the Dead

Masturbation protects against prostate cancer: study
Do you want to bet that it was men who funded and carried out this study? Regardless it's nothing but good news. Strangely enough this link is thanks to my wife, Carol. I'll be in the bathroom with the latest Hustler 'taking care of my health'.

Beat it like it owes you money boys. We wouldn't want prostate cancer.

Here are the nominees with my picks and predictions:

Actor in a leading role (I'm rather torn here)
Johnny Depp in "Pirates of the Caribbean" - In a perfect world yes...
Ben Kingsley in "House of Sand and Fog" - not a chance Ghandi
Jude Law in "Cold Mountain" - what's that smell?
Bill Murray in "Lost in Translation" - He deserves it
Sean Penn in "Mystic River" - He'll get it

Actor in a supporting role
Alec Baldwin in "The Cooler" - Haven't seen it, but a Baldwin?
Benicio Del Toro in "21 Grams" - Too fat and dirty...
Djimon Hounsou in "In America" - Who?
Tim Robbins in "Mystic River" - Jacob's Ladder rocks! The Oscar is Tim's. Watch for idiotic political speech
Ken Watanabe in "The Last Samurai" - Sorry 'Ken'; like that's your real name.

Actress in a leading role (I'm torn here as well)
Keisha Castle-Hughes in "Whale Rider" - Would be a coup I would love to see
Diane Keaton in "Something's Gotta Give" - It's a 'before you die' Oscar if she gets it
Samantha Morton in "In America" - Who?
Charlize Theron in "Monster" - Amazing transformation for this role. She gets it.
Naomi Watts in "21 Grams" - No room for Aussies this year

Actress in a supporting role
Shohreh Aghdashloo in "House of Sand and Fog" - Who?
Patricia Clarkson in "Pieces of April" - UPDATE: Cancer victim. Sad as hell. Well done Patricia. My preference but not the Academy's.
Marcia Gay Harden in "Mystic River" - Disloyal bitch...
Holly Hunter in "Thirteen" - Snore. Not this year.
Renée Zellweger in "Cold Mountain" - It's yours as we pity all your prior nominations

Watch for the other major categories coming in part 2...

The Canucks really showed up for the game last night. The final tally had Daniel Sedin scoring all four of the team's goals, but that dosn't mean that the rest of the team was asleep. The 'Nucks played with big time heart and probably a bit of desperation last night. The required passion had obviously returned to their game. The photo at left shows Daniel scoring his hat trick goal. You can see a larger version of that photo here. Daniel scored his fourth and final goal of the evening into an empty net as Detroit had pulled their goal tender to allow for an extra attacker on the ice in a desperate bid to tie the game.

I must admit, after the recent performance of the Canucks, especially at home, I was not too hopeful as to their chances last evening. Playing a team like Detroit, who is at the top of the conference and on a roll it could have been a really bad night. But it wasn't. Detroit came out hard but ran out of gas and after that it was all Vancouver. The Sedins are finally producing and even out skating opponents in the process giving a well deserved 'in your face' to detractors (I admittedly have been one).

As an aside, Trevor Linden played his 900th game as a Canuck and is poised to break Stan Smyl's all time points record as a Canuck of 673. He's been in a bit of a drought but I'm sure we'll see this clutch player and fan favourite pull it off and soon. No pressure Trevor (like he'll ever read this...)!

After ranting about the storm in NS so much I thought the following was worth posting:

"Here is a photo of the damage from the terrible coastal storm that passed through Victoria last week. Most people stayed home and most schools were cancelled. It really makes you cherish what you have, and reminds us not to take life for granted.

Warning: Following picture is quite graphic and may not be suitable for younger viewers"

Click Here to see the picture.

The horror!

Thanks to everyone who sent this. Again, I am so glad I live in BC.

In high school my friend Omar, whose dad was the autopsy doc in town, had the best pin on his lapel. It read "dead people are cool". Having been around a number of dead people I can assure you they are quite cool. You and I, unless you have a fever or are hypothermic, have a body temperature of roughly 98.6 degrees. But anyway, the reason for this post is findadeath.com where you can view the death certificates of famous dead folks and a lot more.

As many of you have noted I have sort of a weird fascination with death and dying and have had a variety of brushes with it.

I got started with death early. I had nightmares about mummies and dead people 'coming to get me' when I was just a wee lad. I'm not sure where I learned about them, but I have been terrified of death and the dead for as long as I can remember.

My grandmother's house at 55 Phoenix street in Bridgewater was attached to and owned by Sweeny's Funeral Home. I believe she even answered the phone for them for a while. Also she was the deputy registrar for the County of Lunenburg until her death in 1999 at 90 (when she was buried by the Sweenys). She was responsible to fill out all the death certificates within the county. She worked closely with all the funeral homes in the area. The owner of the local crematorium, whom she used to call, "Doodle Drawers" used to try his best to convince her to get cremated telling her it was all nice and warm in there. She would just slap his arm laughing and say in her Lunenburg drawl, "Oh da Lord!" It was all very Six Feet Under meets Green Acres.

I worked as map maker at the local cemetery for a time and then as a grave digger for two years after my map making contract ran out. I saw and learned a lot there and was even involved in an exhumation.

In the mid 1990's I was working security to offset my lack of income from being a wannabe actor at Vancouver Hospital, where patrolling the morgue was part of my duties, when one of my co-workers dropped dead. It was Bob R's first night on the job. We had to run up the stairs for a fire alarm on the 6th floor. Once we found it was a false alarm we returned to the 4th floor to reset the alarm panel. On the way down the stairs Bob was really out of breath and blanched white. I said to Tim, who was training him, "I don't think Bob is going to make it." He didn't. Tim and Bob entered the alarm room and moments later Tim was on the radio for us to get our asses into the room. Bob was on the floor in full cardiac arrest. Tim said, "He's having a heart attack" and at that moment everything let go. I actually saw a man die. One moment he was there, the next, definitely not. Tim, quickly arriving paramedics and the cardiac team tried to revive Bob for 45 minutes to no avail. I had nightmares for months and had to really deal with the fact of my own mortality.

The dead have stories to tell as well. I'm always curious about cemeteries around the world. I have visited some of the most famous, from Napolean's Tomb in Paris to Hollywood Forever in LA (pictures taken by me on our LA Trip). One day I plan to go to Egypt to see the Valley of the Kings and the Pyramids.

Call me morbid, creepy or whatever, but learning about and experiencing so closely something that I've been afraid of for so long has helped me to come to terms with it.

"This was found in a swimming pool in Miami.

First look at the picture and see the shark under the water... then move your mouse cursor onto the picture...
Oh and it has sound effects ...

Click here: Worlds Most Dangerous Creature"

Thanks for the funny Alannah!

Well, my blog is either

Not as evil as I thought (or would like) but evil enough. That all depends on who you ask and which way the wind is blowing.

I got the info from this site that Bubba Gump sent me. I guess he's bored in Fort Worth today.

NOTE: After I placed the links site on my site it all of a sudden became only 13% evil. I guess it changes as the words do as I'm sure it will after I post this update.

NOTE 2: Yep it did!

NOTE 3: My name, Mike Browne: 16% evil, 84% good! Wow am I good! But wait! My full name Michael Christopher Browne: 1% evil, 99% good. Holy crap! I'll be turning water into wine this weekend at the Save On in Maple Ridge and walking across Burrard Inlet in front of a crowd tomorrow morning. Expect to see me nailed to a cross around the equinox.

Big Al Mac sent me this link to photos sent in to Nova Scotia's Chronicle Herald newspaper by it's readers. We used to call the paper the Chronically Horrid, just because it sounded funny, not necessarily because it was.

Dad said that it took him three hours to clear the driveway after the recent storm. Normally it takes him 30 - 45 minutes. Dad also said that the accumulation of snow in the backyard through the winter is up to his hip!

At my uncle's home in Dartmouth, as access is through a back lane, going was so tough that they gave up after five hours of digging and decided to wait for a backhoe. There is so much clearing to be done that the city hasn't fully plowed the sidewalks yet and it's going on a week.

Again I'm glad I live in Vancouver.

Now the Pentagon tells Bush: climate change will destroy us

Kisses - the sexy urinal

Could this be true? What a coup for the Bush administration if it is. Go get him! Here's another article with a little more info.

Bush Dog Put to Sleep Due to Health Woes.
The 15 year old springer spaniel suffered a number of strokes recently. As springer lovers ourselves we feel sorry for the Bush family. Springer spaniels are a very loving breed of dog. They're always eager to please. The other Bush dog, Barney, a black 3-year-old Scottish terrier is sure going to be lonely without his pal.

Our dog, Moosh, is 12 years old and still a great dog, but has bad arthritis. As Kevin Costner said in Open Range, a movie we saw last night and recommend, she "still has the heart but not the legs".

NHL suspends Canucks forward Matt Cooke for two games for spearing Argh! Oh well. The other turdball got 5.

It's Hockey Day In Canada today. I'll be watching games all day.

At 7p.m. Eastern our injusry ridden Canucks play. Hopefully they'll play with a little more oomph than they did on Thursday night against the Wild. They took a large sized spanking losing 6-2. Cloutier was pulled after allowing 4 goals on only 10 shots. The game got downright ugly. The Canucks are sorely missing some stars. Naslund, Jovanovski (who's calling radio shows at home), Arvedson and Lindgren are all out with injuries and the team has had to rely on players called up from the Maintoba Moose just to get enough bodies on the bench.

The team seems to be losing heart. They're doing okay in the standings, but to watch them play of late is like watching the downtrodden. The high paid 'stars' aren't producing, nor are they leading the team as they should. Perhaps a trade to show them that not everyone is secure is in order. That or bench the non-producers.

Maybe this sign got to Bertuzzi:

Jackson sent me this link.

It was just a matter of time before we were to see a story like this. I've spotted young Asian males with more than one LCD screen embedded into the seats of their cars here in the Lower Mainland. Often I've seen them watching bizarre music videos or kung fu DVD's whilst yimmering on their tiny cell phones and driving like cats with their asses on fire down Lougheed Highway.

Multi-taskers can be very valuable to an employer but how many hands did the guy in the story in this video have?

Things overheard at the STD clinic

My favourite: "My pee smells like ham."

Thanks to Amadou for the link

Ping Pong anyone? Thanks Jackson, but GD it I suck.

You can change the screensaver on this link to say what you would like it to. Thanks to matt for the link.

My friend Ken sent me a link to some NS snow storm photos that he took around his yard this morning. It looks like snow accumulated over a winter but this is from one day! His message was "Teresa and I had to tunnel our way to the front door. Still waiting for the main road to be plowed, then I'll see if I can get my truck dug out."

I'm amazed at the amount of snow they received in one day. The news said that some parts of Nova Scotia received 90cm (3 feet) of snow in a 24 hour period. The weather looks better today. Now it's time to dig themselves out.

I spoke with Mom and Dad last evening as well. They said that for the first in the history of the 911 system in NS, Nova Scotia's Emergency Health Services had declared a "Code Black" for the whole province. "Code Black" means ambulances, accompanied by snow plows, are responding to people with life-threatening injuries or illnesses first. Doctors and paramedics are screening 911 calls to determine whether or not people should actually wait to get medical attention. Yikes! Mom held the phone out the front door so I could hear the wind blowing up the street.

UPDATE (13:51 Pacific): Big Al Mac sent me this link with pictures of Bridgewater taken yesterday morning before another full day of snow. Al and I grew up there and my folks and his dad still live there. Paulins Corner store mentioned in story on the link is the store where as a kid I used to go and spend my allowance on candy and other junk. Apparently Nova Scotia is dues for another 15 to 25 cm of snow on the weekend.

More Pictures from a Haligonian's blog. Some more right here and here and here.

Prenant woman taken to hospital in Bridgewater NS (my former hometown) with the help of snowplows. I just heard about this story on CKNW the radio station I listen to here in Vancouver.

I was just talking to my friend Ken who lives back there. He said there's 6 to 7 feet of drifted snow around his yard and his truck is buried. He won't be able to get out unless someone comes by with a backhoe to help him. he said he would take some photos tomorrow when the sun comes up and email them to me. I hope he does.

By the looks of this I quit smoking 6 years too early. Maybe not. It doesn't mention anything about emphysema. I can't help it. Even after this long without a single cigarette my head instantly goes to a place where at the slightest inkling of my being able to get away with it smoking appears to be a good idea again. Ugh!

Like I want to pay 8 bucks a pack for the 1 and a half packs I smoked everyday. Not to mention the whole smelling like and ashtray and being addicted to something so badly it ruled my life.

"No I can't eat/work/live there because I am unable to smoke." Yuck!

No thanks. Smoke free is good for me. That's the truth.

Storm shuts down Nova Scotia
Just when I need a reminder about why I need to stay in BC and not move back to Nova Scotia one of these stories hits. Yikes! My friend Ken sent me a weather radar picture yesterday in which you could see the storm approaching. It doesn't look much better right now. I think 50 cm of snow in one night would really suck. My guess is that Dad has the snow blower out today. I'll have to call him tonight.

The Breast Cancer Site : Fund Mammograms for Free.

James Chan sent me the site this morning with this message:

"This will take one moment of your time & it is very much worth it.

Please tell ten friends to tell ten today. The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate a mammogram in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site!

Please pass it along to 10 people you know."

So, rather than email ten people I know at least a few of the at least 20 people who read my drivel daily will click.

Pauly sent this so blame him:

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him ... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)

A super callused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis.

Here's what can happen when you forego a seatbelt. Eek! Thanks to Bubba for the link.

Classic '80s Games : Play Now! Pac man, Asteroids, Tetris, Duck Hunt, Frogger and more all wthout a quarter. Super Cool!

On his show last night Conan O'Brien apologized for Triumph's antics.

"People of Quebec, I'm sorry," the host of NBC's "Late Night" show said in English, as a translator recited in French, with English subtitles, "People of Quebec, I'm an albino jackass."

It's a sad day in Fraggle Rock. The Muppets have been sold to Disney. Look for Kermit to turn up in the Lion King meets Snow White 46 1/2. Also watch for Disney focus groups to have Miss Piggy lose weight and become a deer because calling a lady a pig is rude.

And yes. I lied my ass off... or did I? Calibrate the transmitters in the walls for me. Chickens from Jupiter are setting up to rule the world.

Upon request I added a printer friendly link option for my posts. Thos of you who have tried know that right click and copy doesn't work so good with Nucleus (the software this blog runs on). Well now it's fixed. The [printer friendly version!] link is beside the comments link below each post. Try it out.

I realize it's been done before. Just to remind you here it is again:


That sound you hear is crickets. (download and play while looking at this picture).

Don't you wish you had your own website to jab back at old Mikey? Muahahahhahaha!

Check out ROTTEN TOMATOES: 5th Annual Tomato Awards. You'll never guess what movie tops the list.

Canucks seething after hit
Hockey is a physical game, but watching the video of Colorado rookie Steve Moore's hit on Naslund over and over does nothing but piss me off. Clearly an elbow on that play yet no call from the 4 blind mice. To make things worse Brad May is handed a retaliation penalty for roughing right after the incident. Although the Canucks went on to win the game 1-0 they are still pretty steamed.

My favourite quotes about it are from Bertuzzi and May:

"That kid's a piece of sh--," Bertuzzi said. "We play them twice more, and hopefully they'll keep him [in the lineup]. It's called respect. Things like that kid . . . shows the respect we have around the league.

"The issue is: Markus is reaching and the puck's not there and this guy blindsides him. It's bullsh--. It's a joke."

The Avalanche play the Canucks here again March 3 and visit Vancouver five days later.

"There's definitely a bounty on his head," Canuck banger Brad May said. "Clean hit or not, that's our best player and you respond. It's going to be fun when we get him."

Naslund could be out a week if he has a concussion. UGH! Even reporters in Denver are disgusted. Watch out Mr Moore. You're about to get your bell rung but good.

Should I really "shake it like a Polaroid picture?" In a word: no

Now this is hilarious Nutrigrain ad. Weird but funny as hell. You'll need quicktime to see it.

Here's another about a 3 year old.

This one made me yawn. I can't stop.

This one has a never ending bottle of beer. Eeek!

In this one Ted is a lunatic.

And finally this one about cruelty to pinatas.

Proof that Jackson is the king of links. He found SHAT-Lessons a page about how to speak like William Shatner on Dave Barry's Blog. FYI: Shat is one of Carol's favourite words.

Cheesus Industries - Home of Cheddar Cheesus

It sounds to me like the boys from South Park are taking their shot at Quebeckers with The French Canada Song (803kb Mp3). Pretty funny stuff. Oh wait, does that make me a racist? I guess I shouldn't be laughing.

I bet this will piss people off too. Not as much as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog's video (here it is by the way at an updated link as of Feb 16 2004) which was fairly nasty and has really got people talking.

Thanks to Jackson for some more links.

I took the comments into consideration and made the change back to the dark blue based skin. I think it's more representative of the attitude of the content. I know change is very difficult for most people. Perhaps, rather than such a huge departure I'll funk it up some other way. Maybe a new header in place of the text title.

The new picture and the calendar are staying. :p

The only reason I ddin't have a photo up before is because I was such a fat ass and was embarassed of how I looked.

Change - good! Stale - bad!

China executes serial killer
This guy was accused of 67 murders and 23 rapes. The trial only took an hour.

I took a look at the colour changes you see for Valentines Day. But I think I'll keep it permanently. The black text on a white background is easier to read. The reds are nice and it has a more 'Canadian' look. The colours are actually based the school colours from my high school (I can't believe I grauated 17 years ago). The photo looks even better, even though schlemiel is right it looks like a George Bush campaign poster. Hehe! I based it on a newspaper reporter's byline picture. Finally, I added a calendar to make navigating through days a little easier.

Hi folks. It's the one day of the year that lonely, single folks feel sad and desparate and couples fight because someone forgot or cheaped out on a gift. Fun! Fun! Thanks to Hallmark for creating another holiday (just kidding) to force us to feel guilty and spend money on overpriced cards.


Some people really hate Valentines Day. I guess it's okay.

Carol and I keep it simple. Low carb Purdys chocolates for me from her and a bunch of flowers for her from FTD.

Here's a link to mp3's of DJ Danger Mouse's The Grey Album. He remixed Jay Z's Black Album and The Beatles' White Album to make one kickass record. But the record companies want this album to go away. There are only 3000 physical copies out there and EMI has asked the stores distributing them to destroy them.

Copyright law really sucks in this case. It's more about the record companies and money than it is about the protection of artists. What are we missing that would set the world on fire creatively as a result?

Copyright law in Canada is a little different. You can read about it right here. The Act contains a special exception for “private copying”: it permits the copying of music files “onto an audio recording medium for the private use of the person who makes the copy”, but does not permit copying for the purpose of “distributing” or “communicating to the public by telecommunication”.

So uploading 'bad'. Downloading? Kind of grey...

Check out Electronic Frontier Canada, a Canadian group pushing for the legalization of file sharing on the web.

Fistfight erupts over tickets to see the Dalai Lama
Carol is going to see the Dalai Lama with a friend of hers. I hope neither of them gets beat up.

Thanks to Lance for the link.

I changed some style and layout elements for this blog today. I added some links and tidied up a few categories on the left navigation. I also did a new graphic. Hope it's not too hideous.

Conan's barbs skewer 'dumb' Quebeckers
I've been watching the Conan O'Brien show this week as it's from Toronto. Talk about hilarious. It's interesting to see how American's perceive us. Last night's show was the best yet. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog proved once and for all that we take ourselves far too seriously here in Canuckistan.

This opens up a whole other dialogue...

Separation for Quebec? A distinct society? Just don't talk about it, and for God's sake don't say anything negative. If you speak against it while you 'parléz anglais' you're instantly branded an intolerant racist. Doesn't all the talk of separation and a 'distinct society' sound like racism too? I understand people wanting to preserve their way of life, but don't step on my toes in the process.

Look at this current crap in France right now. Muslim women (and other reigious groups) are no longer free to wear the clothing they are religiously dictated to in state schools. Separation of church and state? Perhaps on the surface. Intolerant ignorance? Probably a touch. Ethnocentric xenophobia? Definitely. As also evidenced in Quebec through the French over English on signs debacle it appears the French are really afraid of disappearing or at least not being as 'French' somehow.

Look at the fear 9/11 generated in Western Society. We were attacked by a group who believes their way of life is 'right' and as we believe our way of life is more 'right' than theirs we hit back. It's what has started pretty much every arguement and war throughout history.

Self-righteous intolerance seems to be a cancerous thread throughout history. How about the Crusades when it was Christianity's turn to be fanatical? Probably the most extreme modern example would be the Holocaust. We are ALL guilty of it to varying degrees.

Wow, I started out to write a paragraph about a bit on the Conan O'brien show, but it has turned into quite the rant. It's strange how it takes an outsider to make us look a little more closely within.

Don Cherry for Prime Minister!

I'm not sure what grain and soybean prices have to do with sports. My guess is that they get news feeds from elsewhere that are automatically posted if they have keywords in them. Odds are that the words 'trade' and 'Chicago' are tagged. We're hoping to see Alex Zhamnov come to Vancouver from Chicago. Perhaps this is an omen or the universe's way of playing a cruel joke.

Thanks to Lance for the odd link.

Check this out. Make sure you do a search too. LOL! Thanks to Bill G for the link.

Finally I can see BUBBA HO-TEP here. But the Tinseltown 12 site doesn't list it as starting tomorrow. I hope it's not been delayed again. I'm a huge Bruce Campbell fan and have been waiting for this one for a long time.

Check out Living Children :: COSI's Virtual Knee Surgery Exhibit. Jackson sent it. Thanks. I think.

That *THUD* you just heard was me fainting

It's over. I guess Barbie is way to plastic for Ken.

It's not all one sided though. Ken just doesn't have what it takes to please Barbie. Pull down his pants and see.

Thanks to Lance for the link. He's crying and playing with his Barbies right now.

In this game you have to hit the peguin out of the air onto a target with a snowball. Not as easy as it appears, but another addictive game. I got 563.1 just mucking about.

The following is pretty much exactly what I used to be like when I was drinking:

What kind of drunk are you? I'm a Sloppy Drunk You are a liability in public places, because you tend to elbow glasses, knock into wobbly tables and back into waitresses holding full pitchers. You probably wake up in the mornings wondering where you got all those bruises. You're embarrassing, but amusing to watch as well.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

No, the photo is not of me,but oddly enough it is rather representative of a former life. All but the girl that is. She would have run away.

EatBabies.com
It's a joke. Albeit a sick one but it is a joke all the same.

This is an intersting story and could make for one on the largest media distribution companies in the world. It's all about commercialism anyway.

Snow White 34, the Day the Dwarves went Mad...

Walt's head is probably jumping for joy in his cryogenic tube over at Alcor.

I know. I know. He's not really there but it's fun myth to perpetuate.

This morning I read an anti-Atkins article. Turns out it's a big fat crock of shit. Surprise! The PETA pinheads are at it again. The only truly strict vegan I've ever known stank of farts all the time as she ate too much cabbage. Ugh. Obviously the smell has gone to their heads. The poor guy is barely cold and his widow has had to respond to their idiocy. Shame on them. They are the kind of people who would help an animal before a person; stupid and heartless. PETA is even opposed to the use of seeing-eye dogs.

The roast beef I'm eating is yummy. I love eating dead animals. Mmmmmm. Meat! Kill the cattle. Kill the pigs. Kill the chickens. Leave my doggy alone. Come and get me. Tards!

I think People Eating Tasty Animals has more on the ball.

That's right. PETA Sucks!

Maybe the Carnivegans are right. Killing and eating plants is cruel. Stop the vegecide!

Also, check out ConsumerFreedom.com.

CORRECT USAGE: The creators of Adobe® Photoshop® software are very uptight.

Here's proof.

Thanks to Matt S for the link.

Finally! I guess George Lucas needs some quick cash.

Here's one for kitty lovers Pauly and Jackson.

Do it! (no there's nothing else)

Just when I tought we had every appliance known to mankind something like this comes along. Gift for Carol's next birthday perhaps?

Stewie Griffin (Family Guy) Soundboard

The Beatles : First US visit

It's been 40 years since they invaded. Ed Sullivan never knew what hit him. Still the coolest band ever.

Live Coffin Cam Now with New image every 10 seconds!

It's true. The constantly refreshing photo on the left is a guy who's been in the ground since April 15th of last year. As someone who has worked in a cemetery the minimal rate of decomposition you see is pretty much what you can expect of someone buried in a dry climate. I'm sure in another year or so you'll be able to see some more.

Ain't embalming and funerary make up great?

Take this test to see if you're drunk or not.

Benj Edwards at Request-A-Song.com wrote, performed and encoded to MP3 a little ditty called I Saw Janet Jackson's Boob. Pretty funny stuff.

William Hung: A Real American Idol! The Online Tribute to Will Hung a.k.a. Hong Kong Ricky Martin.

I have no musical training!

CBC News: CBC puts Cherry on 7-second delay
Free speech? What the hell is that?

On March 3 2004 on ABC a Stephen King Miniseries called Kingdom Hospital is slated to start. Check out the website. It looks like a real hospital's site, but things are not as they appear. The star studded show was filmed right here in Vancouver.

The French are weird. Here's proof. Thanks to Bill G for the link.

To heck with plasma I need a Helio Display! Thanks to Bubbagump for the link.

In last night's 4 to 0 drubbing of The New Jersey Devils Vancouver Canucks fan favourite, Trevor Linden, scored the 4th goal of the night. Scoring after beautiful passes from Naslund and Bertuzzi Linden ties legendary Canucks alum Stan Smyl's record of 673 points in a Canucks Jersey! You can see the 2.8 MB MPG of the goal right here. It was a nice one. Way to go Trevor!

I've been a Canucks fan for many moons. Watching games after our 1976 visit from NS on our little B&W TV late at night was where it started. I have cheered for other teams like Boston (I went to school and played soccer with Glen Murray, just named an all star) and Philidelphia (I loved Bobby Clark), but have always had a soft spot for the Canucks.

For two (1988 - 1990) years while attending college in Middleton, Nova Scotia I lived with the parents of Canucks goalie Troy Gamble. Pat and Bill were proud parents for sure. It was kind of fun having an insider's take on the NHL. I got the scoop as it happened.

When I moved to Vancouver in 1993 it was easy for me to cheer for the home team. But after the heartbreaking Game 7 loss at the hands of the New York Rangers and the ensuing riot after the 1994 Stanley Cup finals I felt kind of disappointed in the city's take on hockey. Trevor Linden was traded away and we had to listen to other players whining about how much travel they had to endure in Vancouver. Blah, blah, blah! Listening to any sports commentator speak about the team for the next few years was painful. The team was nver quite good enough. We went through goalies like underwear. So I stopped watching and listening so avidly, but always hoping things would change for the better.

They have. It appears to have started with ditching Pat Quinn and aquiring Mark Crawford as coach. Things are looking way up.

It's okay to be a Canucks fan again. We don't have to hide in the closet anymore.

Here we are 10 years later and the Canucks just may go deep into the playoffs again. Last night's game was pivotal. Shutting out last year's Stanley Cup champs is, hopefully, an omen of what's to come. Linden is back and doing a bang up job as a team leader for the 'Nucks. Bertuzzi and Naslund are all-stars. The Sedins have found some speed and the ability to score. Cloutier has calmed down. Even though the team has been plagued with injury they continue winning. This team is firing on all cylinders. Nothing would be cooler than to see them go all the way and beat the crap out of say ... Toronto (wink Pauly) this year.

One more thing: Go Canucks Go!

SOS Because 2004 is 20 years too late.

What's all the fuss about? This is funny!

Check out this story that Jackson sent. Apparently the tale of the Beverly Hillbillies has some truth to it.

Remember?

Come 'n listen to my story 'bout a man named Jed
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed
And then one day, he was shootin' at some food
And up through the ground come a bubblin' crude
Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea

Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire
Kin folk said, Jed, move away from there
Said, Californy is the place you oughta be
So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly
Hills, that is, swimmin' pools, movie stars

Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin
They would like to thank you folks for kindly droppin' in
You're all invited back again to this locality
To have a heapin' helpin' of their hospitality
Hillbilly, that is, set a spell, take your shoes off

Y'all come back now, hear?

Bill Maher, who used to host Politically Incorrect, and has a penchant for running off at the mouth has his own blog. Now we can read his thoughts as he posts them. He makes Jackson 'cranky'.

Yes, we're circling the drain now.

Another tragic ending to story of a criminal who was given second chance after second chance. At least the guy is in custody and the authorities are saying he will pay the 'ultimate price'.

However, it doesn't change the fact that an 11 year old girl is dead. She and her family have already paid that price with absolutely no return.

Cannibal Attracts Interest from Filmmakers
There have been some great films directly and loosely based on murderers and serial killers. For example Silence of the Lambs, Psycho and Texas Chainsaw Massacre were all based on the strange case of the oh-so creepy Ed Gein from Wisconsin. A film about a cannibal killer with a willing victim has to be scary.

Here's a recipe (a picture of a boob so not safe for work) for Janet Jackson booby-cakes.

Here's one for Tyler.

Yes Li'l G n'R is a group of kids brought together as a Guns and Roses tribute band. A video of the auditions for Li'l G n'R is right here. If you're getting to NYC any time soon you can see the kids at CBGB (yes the same one that spawned the Ramones) on February 22, 2004 at 6pm. Tickets are only $5.00. That's about what the latest incarnation of Big G n'R is worth. Blech!

GoogObits: Obituaries and essays augmented by Google searches. There is a lot to learn from the dead.

Badger Badger Badger ...

I am getting so tired of this. But it is interesting to see how all the crazies involved are reacting to this situation.

It looks as though the rippee is out of the Grammys. Who cares about Janet Jackson really? Let's make an example of the hasbeen. She doesn't pay the bills. Do you wanna bet the ripper is still in? It's worth too much to CBS's bottom line to lose a star a big as he is. Much too expensive to grow true principles all of a sudden. He'll show up and make a mockery of the whole affair. Why not? He's been given the forum again and again.

The NFL is trying to look pissed off. The Pro Bowl has axed one of Timberlake's n'Stink bandmates from it's show. Thank God. We wouldn't want to chance one of those whackos whipping out something else. He'll be replaced by Raffi speaking into his Banana Phone.

All this fuss over one boob is a bit much. There should constantly be bare boobs (I mean breasts not the celebs themselves) on TV. That way when one shows up unexpectedly no one has to fall on a sword as we'll all be used to the sight of the vile things.

MTV.com - News -The Pixies - Yes, All Of Them - Gather For Rehearsal, Announce Tour Plans
Being the band that heavily influenced Nirvana's sound, taking in this reunion tour just may be the thing to do.

Foster Child Allegedly Forced To Take Meals To Corpse
People do some messed up things. It seems like foster kids get the crappy end of the stick a lot. It's bad enough that a kid ends up in a foster home in the first place, often as a result of child abuse or neglect, but to be abused when you arrive in what's supposed to be a 'safe place' is horrendous. We've all heard the stories.

Don't get me wrong. I don't believe that all foster parents are like this. I know a number of good people who are foster parents themselves and would never do this to a child.

As an infant prior to my adoption, I was in foster care. For the first three months of my life I was placed in a caring home. My adoptive parents said that the woman who was caring for me at the time was a good hearted soul.

I know that abuse in foster care like the article above is the exception and not the rule, but it does happen.

Why does it happen? Greedy sadists who don't really care about kids apply to be foster parents as they see the kids as meal tickets or something to torture.

How does it happen? A lack of improper screening due to the inattention of governmental regulatory bodies as a result of ultra-high demand for more and more foster families. If they were too stringent, no one would apply to be a foster parent. If no one applied to be a foster parent where would these kids go?

Quite the dilemma. There has to be a better way to find suitable foster homes for kids in need.

For more information on foster parenting in Canada go here and in the US go here. You can also check out the Canadian Child Welfare League and the Child Welfare League of America.

Nicole sent me this flash movie. It about sums it up.

Jethro Tull Star's Sex-Change Op

Okay. You're 66 years old and have had your twig and berries for all that time. What on Earth, other than a complete mental meltdown, would prompt a change now?

"Aqualung!"

Prance around playing your weird assed flute, get your weiner lopped off and grow some boobies.

Thanks to Carol for the strangest link today. Yes, it's stranger than the cannibal and his willing victim.

Jackson went here with his buddies the other day. He was quite impressed. Carol has been there before (without me) and raved about it then. Methinks I will stop procrastinating and check it out ASAP.

Will Ferrell is at it again. Anchorman looks like a ton of fun!

Thanks to Nicole for the heads up on this one.

Sinkholes, terorrism and earthquakes! Oh my! There are so many things to be afraid of nowadays. I need a place like The Ultimate Secure Home in Durango Colorado to keep me safe from all of those horrific things.

It's a hobbit hole! Tricksie hobbitses! They hides in the ground!

It appears Durango has a Walmart and even a McDonalds so I guess it can't be all that bad. Like hiding in plain sight I guess.

Not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach:
Home is where the heart is — and the lungs, liver and kidneys too.

Mike The Headless Chicken for President.

scary squirrel world - squirrel photos, pictures, pics, facts, games... squirrels

Q: What's your name little fella?

A: It's Jon Blake Cusack 2.0.

Thanks to Lance for the link.

Which one do we believe. The Groundhogs are all confused this year. Shubenacadie Sam in Nova Scotia didn't see his shadow this morning, so he predicts an early end to winter. Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow (and was booed for it) meaning he says there'll be 6 more weeks of winter. Wiarton Willie (as of this writing his website is down due to high volume), the other Canandian groundhog says 6 more weeks of winter. So two out of three groundhogs say six more weeks of winter. But what if Willy and Phil are wrong and Sam is right on the money? I'm confused. How the hell do groundhogs know anyway?

Does everyone have a groundhog? Look at all of these friggin' things...

UPDATE: Make it 3 out of 4 saying more winter counting Alberta's Balzac Bille (who comes up with these gay names?)

The Super Bowl party we had here at work was a gas. Perhaps due to the mounds of chili and other various spicy meat treats. There was much gambling and lots of howling at this year's ads were not bad. The Shards o' Glass freeze pops ad was especially poignant although some of the older ads have been better.

Although the game was a little boring at first it did pick up. New England won, but didn't cover the spread. There'll be some sportbooks smarting from that this morning no doubt.

The biggest news is that Michael is not the only attention seeking moron in the Jackson family. Janet let it all hang out with n'Stynker Justin Timberlake during yesterday's half-time show. CBS is apologizing for the 'slip up' but it looked intentional to me.

I totally missed the streaker.

UPDATE : It really is Nipplegate. Thanks Jackson!

This is retarded.