Here's some video. Thanks again to Leah.

Also, a bit more blah blah blah here as well.

Play a game of Internet tennis. You can blame Matt for this one too.

Who said some cops were stupid? Not me. However, some are not exactly attentive when writing up a ticket which, as a legal document, has to contain exact information. As a result, someone who has broken the law can escape retribution even if caught redhanded. Take the tale of this creative gentleman in Auckland, New Zealand as case in point.

Thanks to Matt for the story.

Google has filed for an IPO. What does that mean? It's a good day for tech stocks perhaps. Everyone will be watching this one pretty closely. One amazing development is that the average everyday investor (like myself) can get involved. People will be cautios, but my guess is that it will take off right out of the gate.

Could it be time for dot-com boom v2.0? That would be nice. Especially considering the fact that I've made it through the whole boom/bust cycle fairly unscathed and relatively no worse for wear. In fact I'm way ahead. Not bad for a yutz like me.

Public Service Announcement: How to spot a mad cow

Carry on...

Ever stuck for just how to describe how something sounded? Why not try word Ka-BOOM! A Dictionary of Comicbook Words on Historical Principles.

THWACK and ARRRGH are a couple of my favourites.

Ithink I've gone out of my mind. I'm actually posting E-Thug.Net. You need your sound on. That's weird. Argh!!!!!!

Do you like flying in planes? I do. I always try to sit by the window. Now I can sit by the window using the 'Holding Pattern' screenaver whcih you can download for free if you like.

Leah sent me this link to an eBay item, namely a size 12 wedding dress for sale by a gentleman as the result of a divorce. Personally I think he looks larger than a size 12 and that the dress will be stretched. Buyer beware. Also, I think his choice of hat and t-shirt is all wrong for the occasion.

Moosh needs a set of Doggles

I made my sign with the cool little applet right here. I added the sky in Photoshop as the default colours were sort of crappy, but it's a fairly cool site all the same.

Protestors ... worse...

AmIAnnoying.com: Comedy Central's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups
An interesting list to say the least. Not exactly the way I would order things, but some great names on the list. How the hell Sinbad made it I'll never know.

Check out these Images of Japanese Vending Machines. I guess just about everything comes in vending machines in Japan, including toilet paper and eggs.

Thanks Big Al.

I'm not sure how to translate what the site's copy says, but the fun is universal to computer users. Click this link, click play, watch the lame little movie and then use your mouse to click all over the lame assed computer as fast as you can (yes Pauly, the box, mouse, typewriter and TV) and just beat the shit out of it. After it has exploded and you can't beat it up any more click 'reparar' and it will fix it up just to be beaten again.

Michael Jackson has been indicted and claims he will plead innocent. I'm not sure how I feel as to his guilt but something tells me he's going down (pun intended) for this one.

Thirty years of streaking photos at the BBC. Don't worry it's not only hairy backed male Brits with bad teeth.

It's the 34th annual Earth Day today. Whatever the hell that means. I guess be nice to an ant and hug a squirrel.

Check out International Jewish Conspiracy. It's another one Schlemiel!

Take a look at this for a picture you will not be able to shake. You have been warned.

Yes it's virtual foosball!

You're a marine who's trained with the highest of high tech weapons and other military gear, your athleticism is second to none and you are psychologically prepared for just about anything. Then there's days like this:

VIDEO: commando.wmv (2.5mb WMV) - right click and choose 'save as' to view.

Thanks to Amadou for the video.

Check out The Religious Policeman a.k.a. muttawa.blogspot.com : A Saudi man's diary of life in the "Magic Kingdom", where the Religious Police ensure that everything remains as it was in the Middle Ages.

Growing up in Saudi Arabia Carol has had first hand experience with the Mutawa'een - religious police in Saudi Arabia whose duty is to ensure strict adherence to established codes of conduct; offenders may be detained indefinitely; foreigners are not excluded. They don't sound like a group you'd want to get on the wrong side of.

Carol sent me this:

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness.
You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched.
You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way.
For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss.
You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun.
The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut,
which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM
Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy.
You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag
because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots
your alcoholic friends dared you to drink.
Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns.
You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke ---
yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing.
You can't speak too qickly or else you might puke.
Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given
you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but
that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your
face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on
while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red
vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter perpetual spasm,
and the first of about five Shits you take during the day
brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head,
which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube.
Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.
You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from
brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out.
Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you.
You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was
passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate
results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid
with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this
'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water over your ass.
Death sounds pretty good about right now....


THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Indubitably - Innovative - Preliminary - Proliferation - Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity - British Constitution Passive - aggressive disorder - Loquacious - Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
Oh, I just couldn't.
No one wants to hear me sing.
Sorry I'm being such a jackass.

...Blast Voters Directly. The campaign posters at the bottom of the article are priceless.

The Onion is so funny. The best part about it is that that some people actually think it's a real newspaper.

Thanks to Jackson for the link.

Protect your banana now with Banana Guard!

'We Built This City' ranks as the worst record ever
Yep. It sucks.

Nine Reasons not to drink.

Thanks to Teach for the link.

I did the test at MyFootprint.org and this is what I came up with for Carol and I:

Category Global Hectares

Food 3.1, Mobility 1, Shelter 1.5, Goods/Services 2.6 = Total Footprint 8.2

In comparison, the average ecological footprint in your country is 8.8 global hectares per person. Worldwide, there exist 1.8 biologically productive global hectares per person.

If everyone lived like you, we would need 4.6 planets.

Still quite high even though we're slightly below the Canadian national average. Pretty shocking stuff, considering we do try and conserve.

Looks like I need to pay another 10 buck son top of the 126 I already pay for Internet. Shaw's Xtreme-I looks awesome with it's 5 Mb download speed and 1 Mb upload speed. Wowsers!

These are photoshopped images of what seems to have been each photographer's final photo. You'll get it when you look at them.

Thanks to Matt S for the link.

This is some weird shite! And so is this (rather creepy). There's some not nice so stuff there too... so be careful. Sometimes the simplest thing can entertain me so much. I guess that says a lot about my level of intellect. Being a dolt is actually good most days; I haven't got a clue.

Ignorance truly is bliss. Don't open the door as once you do see inside you can't forget what you saw. For example, I know there's a certain video of someone of smaller stature that Carol would like to erase from her brain.

Here's that retarded, foul-mouthed cartoon squirrel again (that looks like a cat if you ask me) cussing about Atkins. Rather uninformed, and nasty, but funny all the same. And yes, I eat apples. :)

Before I write about the Canucks horrific loss at the hands of Calgary in game 4 of their 7 game series Meet Tyson, the Skateboarding Bulldog!
That should cheer me up for a minute or two.

CBC is looking for us, the public, to vote for The Greatest Canadian. They've given lots of examples of great Canadians, but all are either artists, politicians, sports stars or people who have gained celebrity and noteriety through other means.

There are no average shmoes in the running. That is why I am offering to be the sacrificial lamb for you folks. I am a 'Great Canadian' example of mediocrity and banality. What more could you ask for? I'll take one for the team. You can nominate me, Mike Browne, with a write in vote by filling in the form on this page if you like.

Or you could browse the historically boring list of regulars like Laura Secord, Louis Riel, Emily Carr and choose one of them with the other sheep.

Paul Anka? Interesting singer but come on...

I'm not sure we'll find the 'Greatest Canadian' at all this way. It will be interesting to see who gets chosen.

Why is no one laughing? *cricket sound* (80kb Wav)

Carol just loves spiders. Every now and again I'll a squeal from another room as though there's a rapist in the house. I come running only to find my wife, hair on end, pointing at a spider. Seeing as she grew up in Saudi Arabia she has most likely seen a Camel Spider (thanks to Matt for the link), if they really do exist.

They're a hell of a lot bigger than the Brown Recluse Spider a.k.a. Hobo Spider. But apparently the Hobo Spider's bite can be nasty. There are lots of Hobo Spider stories around the web. Yikes!

Now she'll be really afraid.

Easter is tomorrow. I hope the Easter Bunny is good to you. He's happy rappin'.

Light-Up Clothes and Costumes By Enlighted Designs

Gotta get me some!

Moosh loves to come for rides in the truck a.k.a. the moving couch. She sits on the passenger's lap as we only have a pick-up, but it looks as tough that's not smart. Apparently pets in the car can steer you wrong. Maybe Carol and I should look into buying a Fido-Rido.

I don't know how this works but I got the Subservient Chicken to moon me, do kung fu, dance and wave. Really weird.

Thanks to Bubba for the link.

Yeah right... Here's their story. Thanks to Lance for the link.

It's about time that these infant death traps were banned in Canada. I'm not sure why it took so long. Perhaps the federal Liberals have been in the back pocket of the ultra-powerful baby walkers lobbyists.

When I was a child, before all the real dangers were apparent, my folks had me in an olive green walker tooling around the house like a madman. One day, according to mom, I was really cooking along in my walker, most likely chasing the long suffering 'Miss Kitty', and I hit the basement door. The door popped open and I went crashing down the stairs. I'm told I was unconscious on the concrete floor for a few minutes, which could explain a lot. My walker was totalled. Thankfully, after being checked by our family doctor (this was when they still made house calls) I was deemed to be okay. I'm sure he missed some brain damage as has been evidenced by my later behaviour and sadly lacking decision making.

After that Mom and Dad installed a chain lock on the door to prevent further accidents.

Though I'm too young to remember the incident, I still say buh-bye walkers.

Oxymora: The List. They've only posted to J so far but it's interesting nonetheless.

Believe it or not...

According to this story IKEA founder overtakes Gates as world's richest. This may not be so. There's a bit of a scrap (thanks Jackson) over who's got more dough.

Who cares? They have more money than me. And, judging from my tour of the Microsoft campus last Friday, and seeing Gate's house from the bridge on the way there, I'm pretty sure he doesn't really care either.

I play a lot of first person shooters online. So much so that I've been the member of a gaming clan called the OSS Brigade. Most of what we play together are war simulations like Call of Duty, Battlefield 1942 and Medal of Honor. Although we've been playing together for quite some time (some of us for years) we have never met face to face. At least not until Friday.

I traveled to Seattle to meet Doc (Stan from San José, CA), Treacherous (Joe from Seattle, WA - our host) and Andy Dufrane (Aidan from Denver, CO) pictured below:


We had a great time together. It was just like meeting old friends actually. Not everyone you meet on the Internet is a freak. Good thing considering what we did that day.

Anyway we had a great day. Joe took us on a tour of the Microsoft campus, where he works, then took us 4-wheeling out in the woods to endulge us in his hobby - shooting. We literally had a blast. Joe has quite and arsenal. Here he is with an M-14. Although he only took a portion of it, there were still a lot of weapons. I got to fire a .44 Magnum (Dirty Harry's gun) as well as various others like the ones we use in the game. My favourite, however, was the AR-15 (a.k.a. the M-16).

For someone who's not used to shooting I did fairly well blasting away at pop cans and other things. No one got hurt, although from the look of this picture, it appears I was about to shoot myself in the crotch.

"Aim higher dummy! The can is on my head!"

Afterward we went back to Joe's and had a nice dinner with his family and watched South Park the movie. All in all a great experience. Thanks Joe! Nice to meet you Stan and Aidan! I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Thanks Jackson! Yeehaw!

I'd love to get a hamster and a PC HabiCase® from Think Geek.

It's that time of year when it seems like there are so many opportunities to make a little extra cash with a side bet or two on sports like NCAA Basketball, or the NBA and NHL playoffs. There are a lot of sportsbooks online to choose from when it comes to who to bet with. My money's on Hail Mary Sportsbook. No one throws it up like Hail Mary. That's for sure.

The have so much to offer, from their excellent casino and sportsbook to the hot chicks they have on staff waiting to take your cash. One of the best things about the company is that Hail Mary President and CEO Down 'n' Dirty Sanchez personally gaurantees you'll have a great experience!

...and so do I for that matter.