This isn't who I thought Will Farrell would be...

Check out The Stanford Prison Experiment: A Simulation Study of the Psychology of Imprisonment. It's a fairly interesting and still strangely pertinent look at how imprisonment affects prisoners and their keepers.

Say bye-bye iPod! Say hello to the Dell DJ. If you want to recycle your iPod with the irreplaceable battery you can do so now and pay only $99 USD for Dell's 15GB Mp3 player (about half price). I think I may have to break down and pick one up. Not that I have and iPod to trade but $199 USD isn't bad for a 15GB player.
More info on the Dell DJ via dell.ca. It looks like $349 Canadian. Still not too bad.

I too was hoping that we were going to see the duck shot through it's head, but so many people emailed me I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I see our usual trolls wanted death for the duck so to appease the masses I've come to a compromise and found a picture of a rubber duck that had been hung by it's neck until dead (there are photos of other plastic and stuffed animals strung up right here). And of course there's always this photo of a dead rubber duck:


If you want to buy your own dead duck you can do so here at Archie McPhee. I hope all you animal lovers and ghouls are satisfied. I feel so dirty. I'm such a sell out.

There will be no coalition, Martin says
Oh well. Minority governments can actually create some truly effective legislation. They can't steamroll everyone so they have to really be careful on the bills they attempt to put through. This could turn out to be the best case senario for Canada after all. The change in numbers is good and, honestly, was all I really wanted anyway. It would have been nice to have had a tax break but such is life. We'll see if anything really does change. My bet is all stays status quo...

You've been warned. Thanks to Christian for the photo.

Check out The Online Guide to Whistling Records

I remember reading about the Seven Wonders of the World in books as a kid. I would have liked to see thm all but, if I remember correctly, only the Great Pyramids are left.

Mill Ends Park is the world's smallest park at only 452 square inches and and claims to be the home of the "only leprechaun colony west of Ireland." It can also be found in the top 10 quirkiest landmarks along with the world's largest chest of drawers. Hehe! Drawers...

Don't for get to vote! And no eating your ballots. I have to go here to vote. Check out Elections Canada On-line later on for results.

Check out Canon's canyouflickit.com. You can download and print out soccer finger puppets just in time for Euro 2004. Kind of fun.

Yes 3. Check out the poor litte kid in the middle. "Mommy, I can't breathe through Daddy's back."

Thanks to Rob G for this picture.l

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term exam.

The answer by one student was "so profound" that the professor shared it with his colleagues via the internet, which is of course why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

BONUS QUESTION

Is Hell exothermic [gives off heat] or endothermic [absorbs heat]?

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student however wrote the following:

First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it can not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell; let's look at the different religions that exists in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With the birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's law states that for the temp and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temp and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose; and

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temp and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So, which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa Harrison, during myfreshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is Exothermic and will not freeze.

The student was given the only "A" in the class.

We can thank my pal Brett for sending this along. Nice work Bart!

Like you haven't already...

My penis's new name is Mickey the Cybernetic TrouserSnake.
Try Name Your Penis by badasstronaut today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

I've seen the Orcas in the City all over the place in Vancouver and wondered what the heck they were for and why they were there. I had no idea until now that the Canucks had something to do with them. It's kind of cool that the team is so active in our community, especially with sick kids.

I'm wiped out.I got in at midnight last night, worked until 1:30 and then couldn't get to sleep when I finally went to bed. I got up at 4:30 for a 6am call time in Lion's Bay but not before I dropped in at the office at 5:45am. I should be back to regular posting when this calendar shoot is over. Ithink I'll go to bed right after dinner. But being tired from what I've been doing is very satisfying. I'm really happy with the results so far...

Yikes ... This guy has quite the rat's nest.

Thanks to Tyler the formerly evil sys-admin for inviting me to GMail. I don't see anywhere that I can invite people to join or I would. I'll let you know if I find it and we'll have a contest to see who gets the invites. Feel free to email me at mikebrowne AT gmail.com. I have 1000 mbs worth of spact to fill up with stuff. :)

I flew to Nova Scotia and back in 4 days. Boy am I ever glad I went. Thanks to everyone for your condolences and heartfelt good wishes. I appreciate it. I felt like I got to be the son/brother/nephew/cousin/friend I always wanted to be. My family was really glad to see me, especially Mom and Dad. The funeral was as nice as funerals can be and my Uncle Bob was very well remembered. I found myself alternating between being misty-eyed and laughter during the beautiful eulogy appropriatley entitled "Remembering Bob" written by Dr Robin Browne, my cousin and Bob's eldest son. It was a warm occasion for all considering the circumstances. I felt we celebrated Uncle Bob well. I think I'll post a picture here later of my family back and Bob and Aunt Connie's house after the funeral later on.

I also got to see many of my old friends while I was at home. They're all doing not so badly for themselves. I saw Chris Talbot, who now owns a busy bicycle shop with his pregnant wife Carrie at their home. I saw James, an old freind who now runs a second hand store in Chester and is trying to finish two novels.

Clayton, now working as a real estate agent, and Yvette Banfield and their children, Christopher Roger and Samantha played host to me for a bit on Saturday afternoon, taking me to see the tallship, the Picton Castle. It came into port with Clayton's dad, Orville, aboard. Orville was also capatin of the Bluenose 2 for a time a few years ago. It was neat to see the whole Banfield clan again (some for the very first time). Clayton is the guy who helped me get started here in BC. Thanks Clayton!

I also got to spend the evening with Brian Plunkett a.k.a. Izzy Iskawiz and met his wife Kim and son Riley who looks a lot like his dad. Brian and I went to my 'cousin' Scott Selig's and hung out woth Scott and His wife Cathy and Ken and Teresa Richardson, more old freinds from high school and beyond. I had a great time...

Finally, I got to spend time with Mom, Dad and rachel but best of all I was home and gave my dad a hug on Father's day. That made the trip for me.

I'll post some pcitures and links here soon. I just got home and have to eat dinner anfter a long day of hanging out with swimsuit models and getting paid. I'm serious. There'll be pics of that too... hehe

But I don't have the cash to fly on a private spaceship. Too bad... On second thought, whoever designed that ship had no real sense of contemporary style in modern spaceship design. It looks so retro. Like something out of one of my childhood colouring books.

I think it's true that Michael Moore Hates America. Here comes the arguing...

Just another point of view I guess. Thanks to Jackson (of course) for this little gem.

I'll blog more when I get back from NS. Until then...

BROWNE, Robert Courtney - Dartmouth, passed away Tuesday, June 15, 2004, in Dartmouth General Hospital. Born in Halifax, he was a son of the late Dr. Courtney T. Browne and Robina J. Browne. He attended Mount Allison and Dalhousie University. He worked with Air Canada for 33 years. He was a member of the executive of the Air Canada Pioneers upon retirement. He enjoyed many outdoor activities and took great pleasure in his garden. He was well-known for his witticisms and stories, which will be missed by all who knew him. Besides his parents, he was predeceased by his sister, Anita (Arthur). He is survived by his wife, the former Constance Dillman; brothers, Dr. Edward (Marion), Bridgewater; Donald, Vancouver, B.C.; sons, Dr. Robin (Beverley), Dartmouth; David, Dartmouth; daughter, Heather (Tom) McEachern, Dartmouth; grandchildren, Jessica, Liam, Courtney, Harris, and Cameron. Visitation will be Thursday, June 17, in A.L. Mattatall Funeral Home, 217 Portland St., Dartmouth, from 2-4, 7-9 p.m. Funeral will be held on Friday, June 18, at 2 p.m. in First Baptist Church, 100 Ochterloney St., Dartmouth, Rev. Martin Zwicker officiating. Burial at a later date. Family flowers only. Donations may be made to the Canadian Cancer Society or First Baptist Church, Dartmouth.
from the Halifax Herald.

Your dry as bone sense of humour was a bright spot at family get togethers. I spoke with Dad yesterday and he's very sad about his brother. So am I. It hit me like a tidal wave this afternoon when I saw the above obituary. I wish I could get back to Nova Scotia for the funeral, but it's not looking feasible. I checked into flights and with bereavement benefits it will cost me $1114.91 for a return flight on short notice. Without the bereavement it will cost $1214.40. Not much of a deal. Also, with the Creative Director on vacation I'm steering the ship until he gets back on Friday (the day of the funeral and too late to fly to Nova Scotia in time). I guess I'll send a card and some flowers, but it's not quite the same. I feel pretty crummy. We'll miss you Uncle Bob. You were a darn good egg.

UPDATE: I'm going to Nova Scotia tomorrow. We'll swallow the cost of the ticket. I just feel the need to be there. Family is far more important than a few bucks. Plus it's Father's Day on Sunday and it would be nice to see my dad.

102 translations of "Oh my God! There's an axe in my head." Just in case you had to communicate that bit of information in Babylonian or Swahili.

You can receive your beatings right here. Thanks to Lance for the link.

Yahoo! is feeling the pinch from GMail, Google's upcoming webmail site that offers users 1 gigabyte of storage space for free. I presume that keeping up with the Joneses is the reason why Yahoo! Mail upped it's storage capacity from 5mb to 100mb and slapped a prettier skin on their webmail app. It doesn't look too bad.

I still pretty much exclusively use a Hotmail account, but would love to get myself a GMail account. I guess you still have to be invited one way or another until Beta testing is done. Anyone wishing to invite me can feel free to do so at my current email address:
right here

You've seen the Blockbuster Video ads with the rabbit and the guinea pig in the pet store. Well here's one more and another in Quicktime video.

Here's an interesting ad about DVD players. Funny stuff.

Thanks Chuff!

I can safely say without a doubt that this person has been the butt of many a joke in her lifetime.

More on shit fun.

From Boing Boing Blog: Virus-proof your PC in 20 minutes, for free
Paul Boutin has written a great piece for Slate about a cost-free 3-step method to keep your PC virus free. Please read it an use it so your PC doesn't end up become a spam and virus spewing zombie. Link

"The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet."
Lord Chesterfield

Here's a video from Pauly. Check out eds_back.wmv. Apparently Ed Broadbent is a rapper now. This is another reason why I won't be voting NDP.

Screw PETA. I'm joining the Society for The Protection of Plants. Check out the rest of their wonderfully anti-veg ad campaign. I've seen Carol weeding in her garden. I guess that makes her a murderer. I think we should fire the landscapers too. Yes, I contribute to the carnage as well. We pay to have these psychos come and mow the lawn every Tuesday. I can hear the screaming of each terrified little blade of grass every time I close my eyes. Oh, the horror!

Save a plant. Kill a cow!

Check out Crazy Limos. Ithink I want to to get me one of these Corvettes.

Thanks to Bill G for the link.

It's not what you think. OMFG! Help me! It burns!

10 Super Foods You Should NEVER Eat!

I think I've had all of them more than once, especially the Campbell's Soup.

Okay, so don't eat the crappy food, don't smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol or coffee or use drugs of any sort... I'm starting to wonder about this weird obsession for living longer. How much longer is it really? Ten years? Less? Is it all reall worth it? Some things yes, as long as it improves the quality of my life. But what if it's simply for quantity's sake? I don't know how important that should be. Sure take care of your health, but no Alfredo Sauce? Up yours Nutrition Action.

Although I do sort of understand. I've been told for years that everything is okay in moderation. However, in some cases, my brake pedal is broken and I can't stop once I get started. Smoking and drinking are prime examples of my lack of power over certain substances. One smoke and I'm 'cancer man' from the X-Files with lungs like little black raisins. One beer and I'm coming to in a psych-ward ten years later, broke (and I mean more than financially) with a liver the size of a basketball. Not good.

R.I.P. Ray Charles

Check out The Late Train Productions: Sock Full of Bees. Ouch!

I'm not sure how appropriate this is considering the recent death of Mr Reagan. Yet at the same time I found myself laughing at Bush/Zombie Reagan 2004

Friday afternoon, I'm walking home from school and I'm watching some men building a new house. And the guy hammering on the roof calls me a paranoid little weirdo. In Morse code.

EMO PHILIPS

Thanks to Justin and his juice container for this little bit of comedy gold.

Try this if you have absolutely nothing better to do.

CBC Sports: Lightning edge Flames to capture first Stanley Cup

Okay, Flames, so you mow through the competition all the way through to the Stanley Cup final. You do well to go up 3 games to 2 in the series and then you shit the bed. What's up with that?

The first two periods were all Tampa Bay. Calgary decided to make an appearnace in the last 10 minutes of the game. Too little too late. Tampa plain and simple outplayed them. Even the usual overly positive CBC announcers sounded like little kids whistling in the dark.

You did made it to the big show which is further than ... *ahem* the other teams we've cheered for. Well done Flames and congrats Lightning.

Oh well, it was nice to see Stan Neckar who plays for Tampa Bay and just happens to be the player who bought my parents' summer home carrying the Stanley Cup around the rink. I guess, as per tradition, the Stanley Cup may be visiting the summer homes of the players. Therefore the cup may just be going to the property Carol and I had our wedding reception at. Mom and Dad are friendly with the family and may get to visit the cup in person! Now that's cool.

As far as hockey for next year? I guess we'll see once they get this Collective Bargaining Agreement crap worked out. There's always the World Cup of Hockey this summer. Go Canada go!

Pauly sent this picture:


With this note:
I seem to have lost the cat washing instructions. Can you let me know where to go from this point?

The instructions are right here Pauly.

Something just doesn't quite add up here. Why are we in the situation we are with gas prices? I don't get it.

Saw looks like a movie I could get into.

Hasselhoff busted for DUI. I guess the treatment for boozing in 2002 didn't take.

Data's First Emotion is some funny stuff.

Grace sent me these pictures of a Wooden Ferrari F50. Apparently its the only 'car' in Venice.

DiamondDead :: The Official DiamondDead Website

Yes. ZOMBIES!!!

Are you sick of having to login to view 'free' online newspaper articles? I am. BugMeNot.com is doing what they can to solve that problem.

Thanks to photograher Hans Nyberg from Denmark for sending me the following D-Day related link: D-Day Panoramic images - Normandy - HMS Belfast museum - Full Screen QTVR photos from panoramas.dk

Thank you!

I remember the 'song' but now there's a video to go along with it.

Thanks to the veterans of D-Day. It was 60 years ago today that they bravely faced the nazis in the turning point of WW2.

Here are some links:

From Encyclopędia Britannica with a ton of D-Day facts and information.

The Americans' National D-Day Museum in New Orleans.

CBC: D-Day Canada's Role

Canada.com: Canada Remembers

Canadian Armed Forces': Normandy 60

And, of course, the government of Canada's 60th Anniversary of D-Day and the Battle of Normandy.

As Carol put it, "Looks like Ben Affleck dodged a bullet." Cuckoo head / sort of actress / not the best singer / famous for being famous J. Lo is hitched again. I guess all you have to do is throw jewellery at her and you too can have a big bootied peurto rican hoochie mama.

Ronald Reagan dead at 93. I know, I know... a Republican President. Just pointing it out as it's the end of an era to me. I remember a lot about Reagan. He's probably the first President I paid some attention to. I was only 12 when he was elected the first time. When he was shot even we here in Canada held our breath. So much went on during that time...

Nancy, his wife, suffered with him in his long fight with Alzheimer's disease. She used to walk with him every morning through their Hollywood neighbourhood even though he basically didn't even know where he was.

Interestingly enough the press, who could have taken photos of the President in his infirmed state kept their distance. Perhaps not all reporters are sensationlistic lookie loos.

Anyway, although not liked by everyone he was the President of the United States for two terms and will be (has been)missed. Our condolences to the family.

Here's some information on the Conservative's gun control plan. It focuses on law enforcement and monitoring of high risk individuals and penalties for criminals who utilise guns. This make far more sense than the Liberals' wanting every legally purchased gun in Canada to be registered in their retarded plan that seemingly punishes the law abiding gun owners in the country.

Honestly, does the Liberal government really believe that criminals will register their guns as well? Not to mention the fact that there will always be another way for criminals to obtain weapons, registry or not. Dumb Liberlas! Dumb!

Let's vote Conservative. It's time for a change.

And to all you Conservative bashers out there, why don't you read a bit before you discount them as just republicans with a Canadian flair. They are not that at all, but make far more sense than anyone else.

Finally a government who's policies seem to be speaking directly to me. I won't be voting for the lesser evil this time but the party who's politics I believe in. It's kind of nice.

A bad day ... I needed this. Thanks Pilar!

The Internet hasn't always been available and at one point the telephone was the newfangled thingy-ma-bob that people had to figure out how to use. The world woul be a nicer place if we all practiced these phone etiquette tips.

I hate the phone and wish it was dead. I cringe at its every ring and want to smash it from the wall. It looks as though I'm not the only one.

Why he's right here of course:
M o d e r n  R e n a i s s a n c e - F e d e r i c o  C a s t e l l u c c i o

I guess he scrammed from NJ and Tony Soprano's wrath after his grade 7 like sexual tension affair with Tony's wife Carmella. Apparently he's painting now, probably to relieve the angst he feels over his lost love. *gag*

Yes I know he's an actor. Lighten up for Christ's sake.

Thanks for the link Carol...

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).

CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. (Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, he is actually enjoying this.)

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and "rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,

The Dog

Thanks Big Al.

If this is part of what the Conservatives are about, they have my vote. Randy Kamp, a former Baptist Minister with an interesting background, is running as the Conservative delegate from our riding.

I'm tired of the Liberal 'old boys club' and will never vote NDP (socialism, blech). It's time for a change and the new Consevative party looks poised to make a difference.

I love Harper's response to Martin's jabs about Harper's not attending D-Day rememberance ceremonies in Normandy. Paul Martin is an ass.

Will Smarty Jones win Belmont to take the triple crown? The odds are good. He is the favourite.

Check out Death By Caffeine to find out exactly how many cans of a popular cafeinated soda it would take to kill you. Just enter your weight (don't lie) to find out.

Speaking of creative ways to kill yourself...

Bang your head Metal Cat! Yeah!

Looks like Michael Moore has another hit on his hands with Farenheit 9/11, an oh-so controversial look at the events of September 11, 2001. 'Blame the right' is no doubt the cry. The film, dropped like a hot potato by Miramax initially, has gained a modicum of acceptance with it's Palme d'Or win at Cannes and is currently beating distribution offers off with a stick. It will be a success, for sure, but I doubt it's 'accuracy' even before seeing it.

Michael Moore serves two purposes. As a voice for the often ignored leftwing 'bush-did-it' psychos and self-agrandizement. I have no qualms about predicting his usual heavy handed, often over the top editing style again in this piece. As well, I bet we'll see a lot of his face as well. You're not much of a documentarian if you have to stick your self in every scene. It's about the subject, not you ya twit.

His tackling the subject of 9/11 should be interesting, to say the least. But doesn't his making money from the events of that day smacck of a bit of scumbag-ism? I'm just throwing it out there.

Welcome to the American Cornhole Association

The American Cornhole Association is an organization chartered with the sole purpose to promote the game of Cornhole or Corn Toss.

Dirty minds... Dirty! Dirty!

Listen to Wing ... for God's sake make it stop. This lady could give Yoko a run for her chalkboard scraping money!

Tyler Durden For America

"The first rule of Fight Club is you don not talk about Fight Club!"

How to Eat Sushi: Never and Must

I haven't been eating my sushi properly at all. After reading this I may have a better raw fish experience.