Check out these mythological creatures its a graphical interpretation of Jorge Luis Borges' "Book of Imaginary Beings".

My old friend Darrin is an OPP officer near Barrie Ont. Apparently he had quite a bad wreck as a pursuit came to a sudden end. He's pretty much okay, just a busted elbow. Ouch. Here's a picture of the side view of the car and here's another of the post crash wrecked dashboard. Below is the note he sent:

I was hit by a stolen motor vehicle head on today and lived to talk about it. I suffered only a fractured left elbow and bruises. I even chased the driver on foot for 1/4 km and arrested him. Yes, I saw my life flash before my eyes. It just wasn't my time.

Good goin' Darrin. One less bad guy on the road.

Yahoo! I got tickets for Carol and I to go and see MINISTRY on September 30, 2004 at the Commodore Ballroom. I love that place for concerts. I haven't been to anything in a long time. This should be fun. I think we'll go early and get a decent seat. The old legs can't handle the mosh pit any more. I don't feel like getting creamed. In preparation I bought Houses of the Molé and Animositisomnia, Ministry's 2 latest CD's today. You can download No W from House of the Molé if you like. Bang yer head!

Note to self: Bring light ear plugs and don't sit next to the speakers like we did at the Gob/Doughboys/Offspring concert. My ears rang for two weeks.

Bush Using Drugs to Control Depression, Erratic Behavior
Hmmmm, well what do you know?

It was today... that's right System Administrator Appreciation Day (5th Annual - Friday - July 30th, 2004 - Celebrated annually on last Friday of July )

Thanks to Matt, Ray, Tyler, Chuff, Dimitri and Joe for all their nerdy hard work over the past year. Now get back to your caves and get me more RAM. Also, when you get the chance, I need FTP read/write access to a particular site (we'll talk), my video drivers need updating and there's some weird Windows registry crapola going on when I try to open Illustrator CS. *sigh*

Ordering a pizza may not be so pleasant in the future according to this movie from the ACLU.

Apparently not. Tiny Moon is No Space Station... Right. I know we're in trouble.

Obi-Wan: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Chuff sent me this video titled Parallel-Parking.mpeg (right click and choose "save as..." to download the 1.17mb mpeg file). This really reminded me of a driving incident with friends in a crowded mall parking lot on a sunny Saturday afternoon many moons ago. I yanked the emergency brake and slid into a spot much the same way in my little 1982 Dodge Colt (a.k.a. the Piece of Shit) that had no rear shocks. The car also had a wonky carburetor that used to take off suddenly after 50km per hour making it feel like the shit-mobile was supercharged. My gas tank even fell off one time. I'm amazed that I'm still alive considering the way my friends and I used to drive and the cars we drove in.

Thanks Moselle for this little gem:

The British gov have released a booklet for all UK homes on how to deal
with an emergency, the official website: preparingforemergencies.gov.uk

The funnier version is this one: preparingforemergencies.co.uk

I like the basic first aid under emergency planning booklet...

I guess you really need both to see how similar they both are, very funny!

ET first contact 'within 20 years' | New Scientist Hmmm. That would be cool.

A few Christmases ago I bought Carol and Audubon Society Bird Clock. I thought it was cheesy to begin with but got used to it after a while. People who come to our home for the first time are always shocked by the sound of a singing bird every hour on the hour. My mother thought there was a bird in the house and said, "get the broom". Anyway, now it seems no matter how fresh we keep the batteries and how we set it, the worn g bird chirps at the wrong time and sounds as though it's dying. The Owl is the funniest with it's plaintive, slow-motion "hoo hoo hooing". Per haps now it is time for a new clock. If, by chance and I'm sure we are, staying with the weird clock thing, I would like to try the Xacta Radio Controlled Cuckoo Clock. It looks kind of cool.

Poker in Athens-bringing poker to the 2004 games
Sure. It makes sense to me.

CBC Sports: Armstrong peddles to Tour title
Wanna read more about a really boring cycling record you can do so right here: le Tour de France. Yay, he won six times. Yay, he beat cancer. Can you say movie of the week? You know had this guy come in 3rd 10 times we'd had never heard of him. America loves a winner. If the US cricket team started winning we'd be subjected to talk of that horrific sport as well. *sigh*
Cheering for someone, just because they're going to win, is like cheering for the Yankees for God's sake. It's tacky. Cheer because you love the sport and those involved.

Check out this tombstone generator. Of course I made my own:

More on the moon landing. Check out The Project Apollo Image Gallery.

Read The 9/11 Commission Report for yourself.

Hello Sikorsky ... CBC News: Canada pays $3.2 billion for 28 new military helicopters Sounds like the sticker price is a little high on those puppies. Soemone is lining their pockets. At $114+ million per machine they had better be good. Especially considering delivery of the first one doesn't some until 2008. Some of the old Sea Kings (notorious for some recent crashes) have to stay in service until as late as 2012. Aren't you glad we re-elected the Liberals? What was that about $500 mllion during the sponsorhip scandal? I guess the re-election gives them a blank checkbook and absolves them of any wrong doing. What ever happened to the 'investigation' pre-election to 'root out' and 'deal with' those responsible? LOL!

Okay people, so you think Michael Moore is controversial? he's a sissy compred to someone like Alex Jones. Check out his sites Infowars.com and PrisonPlante.tv (you need a membership here to see anything). He encourages members of his site to download and share his films (for noncommercial puposes) with anyone who's interested. So far I have downloaded and skimmed 911: The Road to Tyranny and am currently downloading America Destroyed by Design. The quality isn't so great but it's pretty interesting stuff. He could be a madman for all I know, but if it's an extremely different perspective you want then Alex Jones is the guy for you. It's rather shocking and perhaps a bit alarmist, but interesting all the same.

Here he is talking about the Hypocrisy of Torture.

What a pleasant sentiment on this t-shirt. Make the kids look away before clicking the link...

I've posted Bum Wines before. But I'll do it again just for shits and giggles.

"What's the word? / Thunderbird / How's it sold? / Good and cold / What's the jive? / Bird's alive / What's the price? / Thirty twice."

Check out F**k You And Your H2. A neighbour has one of these. I have to get a picture of my finger and his H2 and send it along.

Thanks to Chuff for this one.

UPDATE:
This photo of two kids in an H2 was in the National Post today, so I flipped off the little kids:

I'm send this picture in to the site now...

Margaret Kemper (formerly Trudeau) is at it again. Man it has to suck to have been attached to a public figure at one time. You can't mess up for the rest of your days without it ending up on FARK.

Drunk Talk: The new crop of bar slang. Brought to you by way of Modern Drunkard Magazine Online.

Wow. These guys look busy...

Remember Andrea Yates? She's the woman who drowned her children in a bathtub 3 years ago. She was convicted and sentenced to life behind bars. According to this MSNBC article she ‘wants to put an end to this,’ her lawyer says.

Wow, that's a shocker. She murdered her children and now she's unwilling to live with what she did? I guess that tosses the whole insanity thing. If she was truly legally insane she wouldn't be feeling guilty or troubled by what she did. Would she?

It was very disturbing to hear how someone could do this, to their own children especially. I know I 'wanted' her to be found insane. No one in their right mind could perform an act like that. Could they? Apparently that's not the case at all. People are found guilty of horrific crimes every day. It's sad what we're capable of doing to one another.

I remember the uproar when Yates didn't get the death penalty. Some folks were outraged. Being anti-death penalty myself I was glad that there was a life sentence. I think death is too easy for some of these people. Especially child killers. Having to live a long life knowing what you did is true punishment.

Hey Andrea (like she'll ever read this) if you feel bad about what you did it's because you did a bad thing. That awful nagging guilt is called a conscience. Killing yourself is the ultimate in avoiding responsibility for the acts you performed and would be the final injustice. How does suicide improve the situation for anyone but yourself? No one else needs to die here. Take your punishment...

Gamers, check under hood because Doom 3 is coming
My machine can handle the new game, but I'm think more RAM is in order. Looks like 384mbs to rrun the game and I have 512mbs. Perhaps I should go to a gig. Hmmmm...

Why not be the Canadian Wine Coordinator - Ottawa, ON. It's a federal gig and pays $61,312 to $66,287. Perhaps if it was a position calling for an imbecilic drunkard wino who becomes hostile and belligerent then falls on his face while passing out, I would be more quailified. I have tons of experience. This is not the job for me. Perhaps 12 years ago, but now it would be a bad thing.

Me with that job:
"That was tasty wine. Let's taste it until it's gone. We'll coordinate it all into my belly."
*glub* *glub* *glub*
Why are you looking at me that way? You're not so shpeshial... *hic*
Wanna fight, ya bashtard?! *hic* *urp*
(tips over)
*THUD*
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

UPDATE: in response to my post Jackson sent me this link to an eBay item:
A picture CD of Billie Simpson "Drunk Armless Midget"... WTF?

A passerby noticed an old lady sitting on her front step: "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret for such a long and happy life?"


"I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends I pop a huge number of pills and do no exercise at all."

"This is absolutely amazing at your age!!!!", says the passerby. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-four"

Thanks to Big Al Mac for this one...

Ken Dryden is the new minister of Social Development. I wonder if he'll 'save' the nation... (play sheepyhorn.mp3 to get a better feel for this little witticism)

Check out this article: Terror in the Skies, Again? - WomensWallStreet
It appears that many Americans are still very afraid of what may occur in the air. It's sad that a group of musicians can be looked upon as a threat just because they are of middle eastern descent. If it had been a mormon choir doing the same things you can pretty much guarantee they wouldn't have gotten a second look.

Not all ninjas have it all together. Like this one for example: stupid_ninja_300k.wmv (1.75mb) ...right click and choose 'save as...'

Check out Parasite TV. Not for the kiddies at all.

You can thank Sneaky Pete for this little gem.

Post box or CHEESE? Possibly the hardest test in the world!

What's your score?

Yahoo! News - Sid and Nancy's Punk Rock History to Go on Display
Can anyone say eBay? It's just a matter of moments before some artifacts show up.

My friend Mike Z sent me this 1.49 mb wmv from the TV show called The Chimp Channel that we'll call MonkeyJoke.wmv. (right click and choose save as..)

Perhaps yes, but not the message that was obviously intended...


I'm sharing a picture that a number of people sent me. I'm not sure how to feel about this one. I do enjoy jabs at Michael Jackson. He's so easy to pick on being as eccentric acting and looking as he is. But there's something a little deeper here. Apparently pedophilia is funny. I know I've taken part in this kind of humour before, but honestly, it doesn't sit well with me any more. Laughing at the darkness doesn't make it any less dark. I forget that sometimes.

Secondly, here we have another sign written in English being held by two young boys who probably have no clue what it says. It smacks of the same cultural insensativity and intolerance we were horrifeid by in the Abu Ghraib photos we were so recently assailed by. I understand there is a 'war' going on and that people's emotions and thinking are out of whack as a result. However, it is this underlying attitude that is making the U.S. less and less loved throughout the world. Did the soldiers involved in taking this photo even consider any of this? Some how I doubt it...

Thanks for the picture folks. It got me thinking.

Ground Zero Typo Caught After Two Years - July 15, 2004
Now that's a boo boo!

Stewart receives 5-month prison term, 5 months house arrest and 2 years of probation.
Nice. Now she's trapped in the house for months like Junior Soprano. She'll have to go to funerals of people she doesn't know just to get out and about. Perhaps Bobby Bacala will bring her some baked ziti to cheer her up. I guess she'll really be up on her soaps. By the time she ends up in 'the big house' for her stint there she'll probably have written another happy homemaker's book called "Entertaining Whilst Being Detained - Making the best of house arrest".

Is The Gallery of Super-Dudes...

Check out the AWOL Alcohol Without Liquid Machine. Where was this 12 years ago... ? It appears from this article that Britney Spears would enjoy this machine. But not everyone appreciates it.

What does that mean? The game is finished (according to Shacknews) and has gone to the manufacturer/distributor for it's release in early August. I've been waiting (along with the rest of the first person shooter world) for Doom 3 seemingly forever. The time has finally come.
Too bad the release date is during the summer. I'll miss a month or two of sun. Oh well, my birthday is August 5th in case anyone wants to pre-order this for me. :)

Thanks to Chuff for the heads up.

No one appreciates a smart quotation as much as I do. I was truly happy to find QuoteGeek so I could share such gems as:

Early Grayce from Kalifornia: Reebs.That's what we used to call them when we was kids. It's beer spelled backwards.

and this:

From comedian Steven Wright: I can't wait to get arrested and go all the way to the witness stand. "Do you promise to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" "Yes. You're ugly. See that woman in the jury? I'd really like to sleep with her. Should I keep goin' or are you gonna ask me some questions?"

Now you too can look like a Baldwin brother? Yes, any one of them... Check out the Baldwinization™ Centers of America for pricing and information. I love the tagline:
"Brining You the Beauty of 'America's First Family of Acting'™"

Check out Vancouver's priciest is big, meaty and exotic burger. $34? Holy smokes! I want 2. heart attacks all around!

Thanks to Matt F for the link.

Here's a picture of a public toilet in Switzerland that's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box. Would you use it?

I would try but I think it would make me crazy. I'm poop and pee shy like Shitbreak from American Pie. The first creepy piece of Eurotrash who fixed his hair in the mirror while I was dropping the kids off at the pool would have me screaming...

Thanks to Pauly for the pictures.

Winnebago Man flips his f$@!ing lid. Another one not for kiddies.

The fight is on. Who will 'this land' (if you're in the US that is) vote for?

Here's a mirror of the video.

Git heavy wit Barney Shakur... (not for ears of little kiddies)

Michael Jordan wants to buy and move the Miami Heat to Las Vegas. Why the hell not? Jordan's a big time gambler. Combining his two passions might be a huge success.

My Pimped Name is - Kim Possible. Get yours at Pimped Media

The Forbidden Library: Banned and Challenged Books
Reading challenged or banned books is sort of a hobby of mine. They always turn out to be some of the most thought provoking books I've read. Funny how that works. I guess there are people out there who really don't want the masses thinking. Truly interesting are some of the reasons these books have been banned or challenged. A few examples:

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Lewis Carroll. Ace; Bantam; Crown; Delacorte; Dover; NAL; Norton; Penguin; Random; St. Martin. Banned in China (1931) for portraying animals and humans on the same level, "Animals should not use human language."

The Color Purple. Alice Walker. Harcourt. Challenged as appropriate reading material for an Oakland, Calif. High School honors class (1984) due to the work's "sexual and social explicitness" and its "troubling ideas about race relations, man's relationship to God, African history, and human sexuality." This Pulitzer Prize-winning novel was finally approved for use by the Oakland Board of Education after nine months of debate. Banned in the Souderton, Pa. Area School District (1992) as appropriate reading for tenth graders because it is "smut."Removed from the Jackson County, W.Va. school libraries (1997) along with sixteen other titles.

Fahrenheit 451. Ray Bradbury. Ballentine. Ironically, students at the Venado Middle School in Irvine, Calif. received copies of the book with scores of words--mostly "hells" and "damns"--blacked out. The novel is about book burning and censorship. Thankfully, after receiving complaints from parents and being contacted by reporters, school officials said the censored copies would no longer be used (1992).

and of course...

The Bible. William Tyndale, who partially completed translating the Bible into English, was captured, strangled, and burned at the stake (1536) by opponents of the movement to translate the bible into the vernacular. Beginning around 1830, "family friendly" bibles, including Noah Webster's version (1833) began to appear which had excised passages considered to be indelicate.

I think Tyler needs to enter The ThinkGeek 2004 Sysadmin Pageant!
Thanks to Wes W for the link.

It's 7-11... That means free Slurpees.

Catenema.com: Do NOT Try This at Home!

My favourite metal band Ministry has a new CD out called Houses Of The Mole. The first song from the CD No 'W' (It alludes to George W) has been released as a free online single which you can download right here. No, not all bands hate MP3. It's nice to see some of the cooler ones embracing it. Here are the lyrics for No 'W':

If this is really living
Then why am I so unforgiving
Half the world is down the toilet
Half on its way

If I had a dollar for every time he hollers
Trust us with your hearts and minds
Or I'll make you pay

Trust me -- 2x

Ask me why you're feeling screwed
And I'll give you the answer
There's a Colon Dick & Bush
Justa hammerin' away

Ask me why you feel deceived
Stripped of all your liberties
It doesn't take a genius to explain
That today

Trust me -- 2x

Tell us how you really feel Al.

Check out join the party party for some interesting remixes of George Bush speeches.

Tons of funny and interesting viral ads on Kontraband.com. Nerd Club is a goody!

Check out Kerry + Edwards... LOL!

What a non surprise this is. She didn't show up for court. Wow. Who would have known that someone as messed up as she is couldn't get it together to arrive in court at the appointed time? I'm not sure how long she is for this world. She's a walking tragedy.

Wackiness: 130/100
Rationality: 74/100
Constructiveness: 62/100
Leadership: 122/100


You are a WRCL--Wacky Rational Constructive Leader. This makes you a golden god. People gravitate to you, and you make them feel good. You are smart, charismatic, and interesting. You may be too sensitive to others reactions, especially criticism. Your self-opinion and mood depends greatly on those around you.

You think fast and have a smart mouth, is a hoot to your friends and razorwire to your enemies. You hold a grudge like a brass ring. You crackle.

Although you have a leader's personality, you often choose not to lead, as leaders stray too far from their audience. You probably weren't very popular in high school--the joke's on them!

You may be a rock star.

View the personality key right here.

Take the test for yourself right here.

Controversial video game maker Rockstar Games is offering two of it's classic games for free. The first incarnation of Grand Theft Auto and Wild Metal. Free? Yes free... Surf over to Rockstar Classics - Free Downloads to snag them.

Thanks to Big Al Mac for sending me this picture...

It looks as though Marine Cpl. Wassef Ali Hassoun who was reportedly kidnapped in Iraq may just be a big fat fibber. The Pentagon is investigating suspicions that the whole thing may have been a hoax perpetrated by Wassef himself. Nasty. What up with that Mr Liar Liar Pants on Fire?

Check out this article about mp3 blogs from USA today. There are some links to a few blogs with some rare and interesting music. Perhaps that what I'll use hobophobia.com for. That might be cool. More right here.

I knew these french/english immersion programs were tough but this is ridiculous. Sue young man, sue!

UPDATE: overturned ... backpeddaling galore

A classic:

Normally I don't believe in miracles, but something happened when I was about seven years old I still can't explain. I was on the front porch with Grandpa, about to eat my Twinkies, when Grandpa started grabbing his chest and saying he was having a heart attack. I ran to get Mom, but when I got back, Grandpa was okay. 'An angel helped me,' he said. 'Also, he ate your Twinkies.'

It's time to check out The Official 50 Shekel Website again. He's updated it a bit since the last time we had a peek. Jew unit! I wonder if he reads the Jewish Encyclopedia? Some more links for Schlemeil!

Happy July 4th Yanks! Check out Lady Liberty Fireworks for some fun...

I was out having fun yesterday so I didn't think to post anything on Canada's birthday celebrations until it was too late. Happy belated Canada Day anyway. It was sort of a let down here anyway. Vancouver didn't even have any firewaorks as we suffer from PEP (Public Event Paranoia) since the Stanley Cup riots ten years ago.

CBC News:Top court rules ISPs not liable for royalties
Copyright laws? What Copyright laws? We don't need no stinkin' copyright laws.

Iraqi court is 'all theatre': Saddam Hussein
I was listening to the CBC yesterday (yes I'm getting old) and heard one of Saddam's lawyers saying that he hasn't been able to speak with his client even by phone. That doesn't sound right somehow. If the U.S. wants people to buy their brand of "freedom" they should at least offer it... sheesh

What ever happened to innocent until proven guilty? That's supposed to be what American justice is all about isn't it? Oh wait, it's not Americans trying Saddam it's the Iraqis. Right. That's even more laughable.

Perhaps Saddam is a bad guy, but he deserves a fair trial.