Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder) dies in a car wreck... Oh wait a minute... No he's not. You know you've made it when you end up on Snopes.com as the subject of an urban legend.

R2D2 DONE FOR DRINK-DRIVING Feb 26 2005


THE force was with Star Wars' R2D2 star Kenny Baker - when police nicked him for drink-driving. Kenny, 70, was spotted weaving across the road after downing two glasses of wine. The 3ft 8in actor - robot R2D2 in five Star Wars films - was yesterday given a one-year road ban and told to pay £110 fines and costs. After signing autographs outside court, he joked: "I'm on the lookout for a lady chauffeur, but I'd prefer it if she was 2ft 6in."

Kenny will give his Mercedes to his son and sell a Rolls-Royce. He added: "I did break the law, so I have to be punished."

The actor, of Ashton-on-Ribble, Lancs, was pulled over in nearby Leyland in December following a theatre rehearsal.

A blood test showed he had 92 milligrams of alcohol in 100 millilitres of blood. The legal limit is 80mg.

From here via MetaFilter.com

Sonos Digital Music System to stream digital music wirelessly from PC to any speakers in your home. "All your digital music. All over your house. All from the palm of your hand." Thanks Denis.

Superfriends meets Office Space: This Place Sucks

Yahoo! News - Kan. Police Arrest Suspected BTK Killer

The Absolutely Weird Bookshelf, 100 Best Horror Novels

Paris Hilton's Cellphone! Hacked! Creepy flash gag!

CBC Arts: N.S. tale slays Atwood giant in Canada Reads It's called the classic novel of Nova Scotia's South Shore, which is where I'm from, so I must read it. It's available on Amazon.ca so I guess I'll pick it up.

Touching Poo at Kontraband ... yep ... just what it says

Check out the dj! Thanks Graham!

Now the Wall Street Journal:
WSJ.com - Online Gambling Sites Get Creative To Beat Advertising Restrictions
What's next? The World! Muhahahaha! Nicely done Todd.

Sam's Archive has a great article on How to destroy the Earth. Apparently it's harder than we've been led to believe. Thank God. I thought one more cow fart in Brazil and we'd be done for... Who needs Kyoto anyway? Damned hippies and their propensity for panic.

NOTE: The above (as is most of what I have to say) is intended to be funny and for amusement purposes only. I am not professing in anyway to be a journalist of any sort, like Jeff Gannon and his ilk, but am an individual trying to have fun. Prior to flaming me with horrifically personal comments about my intellect or bad hair, you should have your psychological and emotional difficulties or anger problems seen to. I do actually give a damn about a lot of things. Thanks for your attention.

More at Jeff Gannon's expense here... hahahaha

Check out this list of The 10 greatest rock'n'roll myths from The Observer via FARK.com. One of my faves is number 8.

Improv Everywhere Mission: McDonald's Bathroom Attendant
I just wanna have a pee. Leave me alone creepy tuxedo man...

Mobile PC - Features - The Top 100 Gadgets of All Time Personally I couldn't have lived for this long without having entertained myself with without the Rubik's Cube, Pong, Speak & Spell or an Atari 2600 (which was actaully what made me finally come to terms with the whole Santa thing when I found it in my parents closet before Christmas).

This guide to computer slang sure makes Microsoft look like a corporation full of old farts. LOL! I got m4d sk1llz! w00t!

Meatsicle! All Things Meaty ... ewwww

Thanks to Jenn for the link to DOG JUDO!

The Best of British - The American's guide to speaking British... Necessary today. Darned Brits.

Check out Inside The Jackson Grand Jury thesmokinggun.com rocks!

Here's a couple of ads for Boost Mobile.

boost-skater (1.58mb quicktime) ... boost-party (1.58mb quicktime)

The lingo doesn't quite cross the generations does it?

Hey Biatches, check out my blog in Gizoogle! Thanks to Wicostein for the link.

BBC NEWS | England | Cambridgeshire | Serial burglar caught on webcam ... not sent by Doogster the Brit, but Monkeeboy instead

SoBe Beverages - Product Info > SoBe Adrenaline Rush TM. My review: Yummy, pineapply, zoooooom! The guys here hate it when I drink the sugar free Red Bull. This is cheaper and tastes way better. Sorry dudes. Mikey's gonna be bouncing off the walls.

...is a fudge packer. Coming to you via Screenhead.com

Check out GQ's 100 Funniest Jokes of All Time list. I haven't read them all but comment as to the numbers you think are the funniest.

fuckvday.com: fuck valentine's day! And some more...
I detect a slight amount of hostility.

Electric Chicken presents the Apple iToilet. Thanks Matt!

Had I been born a few years earlier, there's no doubt I'd have been a beatnik, poetry aside for the weird assed dark sweaters and propensity for heavy smoking. So it's needless to say that all of the Jack Kerouac I've read I like.

I have a copy of Kerouac's "On the Road" but it waits in line with a whack of other books that I have to read. However this article about Kerouac's original manuscript got me interested again. I'd love to see the scroll but it's not touring anywhere close to here but it's going to be in Vegas from March until May so maybe there's another reason to head that way... hmmmm. Time to bump this book up on the reading ladder.

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."
...“On The Road”

RedNova News - Can This Black Box See Into the Future?
All I want are Wednesday's lottery numbers or the next great stock symbol (of course I could ask Martha Stewart for that) ... get on it little box.

Carol and I have decided that Valentines Day in the tradtional sense is far too much to bear. On both sides of the coin are people a) who expect great things from their mates on February 14 (and are often disappointed) and b) feel hugely pressured to perform. The stakes are too frickin' high. How many people have broken up with somebody around Valentines Day? The stats are high. And most likely for just these afore mentioned reasons (as part of it). Hell, it was a year ago today my sister announced her split with her husband of only two years. UGH.

As we were frsutratedly looking for someplace nice to spend too much money on Saturday for dinner and faced with hour long waits no matter where we went we had a thought. Why not buck the norm and call it Crappy Valentines Day and celebrate it as such. Dinner at a not-so-great restaurant (this year Red Robin won, but we'll go even lower next year) perhaps a really crummy asian buffet with far too much MSG for my poor head to take. After dinner we must either rent or go to a movie that's getting absolutely terrible reviews. The capper to a perfect evening would be an optional homemade card. This way we get to stick it to 'the man' and not be mindless consumers for yet another made up holiday. I like Carol everyday, not just on Valentines.

I made my card in word this year... Carol you can download it by right clicking and choosing 'save as' and print it out right here: valentine.doc ... I'm not doing it for you ;)

Remember this gem given to Ralph by Lisa on the Simpsons?


If you are really lazy and want a couple of cool cards to print out, Simpsons style, you can get them here at this link: deconcept > I Choo Choo Choose You
Thanks Graham and Jackson.

Yahoo! News - Blockbuster Late-Fee Policy Raises Questions. Fishy, fishy...

Check out ... Insane Films especially Cooking on LSD... definitely not for kids. Thanks Graham.

Dex sent me this link to his buddy's site: 2JTF Airsoft Image Gallery I wanna play!!! Holy Crap! Airsoft looks fun! Here's links to Airsoft Canada, BC Airsoft Club and 007Airsoft.

I play online games like a maniac, but I'm getting pretty tired of them. I like the people I play with, but it's just another way of isolating really. I end just hiding out with my PC all weekend. If I were to hook up with this group I'd probably get way more exercise and make some new friends. Cool! Not a big leap from playing war as a kid to Airsoft. Only difference is that the weapons are way more expensive (and far cooler) and you get shoot plastic BB's at each other. Seems more attractive to me than paintball does. Same pain with less the mess.

Check out Poseidon Undersea Resorts... it's going to be an underwater resort hotel off the coast of the Bahamas. How cool is that?

Check out the concept for the new VW camper at verdier.ca. Thanks Graham.

Thanks to Big Al Mac for the pic!

Check out Google Maps. They've teamed with MapQuest and made another really cool tool for us nerds to use in our ever increasing quest to have everything we need online.

People are complaining to the FCC about Sunday's Superbowl Halftime show being boring. Now that's funny stuff.

I would love to go to the 2005 Coachella Valley Music Festival. Looks at all of those bands! Holy shitballs Batman. We've seen Weezer before and they were great. But some of the other headliners and undercards are bands I've wated to see for a long time. Especially Nine Inch Nails, Bauhaus, Keane, Chemical Brothers, New Order, The Prodigy, Doves and Cocteau Twins to name a few.

I gotta get me one of these badass hearses with a flamethrower.

We got brand new Aeron Chairs for everyone in our department. At $1100+ each they are the nicest office chair I've ever sat in. We didn't mess around and went all out for the full lumbar support a.k.a. PostureFit model. It even smells like a new car. My back is already way happier. Thanks Riptown! It's nice to work for a company that's doing okay.

Another from ewarz. He's rockin' today. I'm mostly Fark but sometimes Amazon.com

CollegeHumor.com - Napoleon Dynamite soundboard ... Yay! Thanks ewarz!

I just got this email from Blockbuster.ca:

Hi MIKE,

The last time you rented from us, did you spend more time watching the movie or watching the clock? Happily, those days are over.

BLOCKBUSTER® announces the end of late fees.

We promised you MORE and it’s here right now: No Late Fees means MORE time to enjoy your entertainment from BLOCKBUSTER and way less stress.

Under the new No Late Fees policy, rental terms and due dates remain basically the same: two-nights for the hottest new releases and a full week for other new releases and favourite titles. What we've eliminated is the stress involved with rushing to return a movie or game when you're not ready. So, if your plans change, and you don't have time to enjoy your movie or game, or return it on time...relax. Take an extra day or two.

Here's how it works:

Any movie or game you rent will still have a due date. However, if you need to keep the product an extra day or two, you can. In fact, you’ll have up to a one-week’s grace period to return it at no additional charge. At that point, if you want to keep the movie or game, BLOCKBUSTER will automatically sell it to you, less the rental fee. But if you decide you don’t want to own the movie or game, then simply return it within 30 days for a full credit to your account, less a minimal restocking fee.

So come in to BLOCKBUSTER and experience the freedom of No Late Fees today!

This appears cool, but it doesn't get me the money I've already spent with them for being an hour or two late returning really crappy movies. I'll be really happy if they retroactively return them. LOL! And pigs are about to fly out of my backside. Also, this looks like they're actually only giving a couple of extra days prior to charging you with the extire cost of the movie and, as people I know in the US have suffered, if you attempt to return the movie after the alloted time when you have been charged for the cost of the flick, you are charged a 'restocking fee' of $1.50. It will probably be $3.00 bucks here in Canada. Nice try Blockbuster, but no thanks.

Great news - not. I can't even get a consultation for the dental surgeon I've been referred to until March 29th. Yes, that's right, two months from now. Jeebus H Cripes! They've put me on the 'cancellation list' but there's no guarantee I'll get in prior to the end of March. Holy shit! That sucks a large portion of my ass. To deal with the chronic pain of my impacted teeth (as I can't take narcotics) I guess I'll just pound the Extra Strength Tylenol until my liver shuts down or I go nuts and put a heavy claw hammer and chisel to my own jaw to relieve the ache. Anyone know a dental surgeon? *sigh*