The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster. Yep. Darth Vader even has his own blog now.

Finally, I know that I joked about this hand holding thing with Bush and Prince Abdullah yesterday, but after what I just saw on the news I'm considering changing my post. I won't change it but I have to talk about this. I saw the photo and immediately saw the humour, but also, I understand that males holding hands is a culturally acceptable thing in the Middle East (and other places in the world). It's a sign of friendship and familiarity, like shaking hands or hugging here. Also I'm impressed that George Bush would be considerate enough of someone else's culture to actually go against his own.

What I don't like is the 'average american's' reactions that we're seeing. People are outraged. For such a 'free' and 'tolerant' society that sounds exactly the opposote. 'Hey pardner, if it ain't American it ain't right'. Different bad? Get over it... You're not the only country in the friggin' world.

I have to say it... Fags! Not that there's anything wrong with that. Carol pointed this out today. Comedy gold. She's always on the lookout for anything remotely Saudi related. Let the flaming begin. Hey I said flaming... hahahahaha These two look like something out of a 'goofy powerful men who love other powerful men with beards wearing man dresses' calendar. Probably what you'll see when you turn the page to May this year. The caption: "Here we have US President George W Bush (Cuddles) and Prince Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz (Pooky Bear) of Saudi Arabia. They fell in love in springtime and love walks in the woods. A picnic with goat eyeballs, chilled monkey brains and near beer caps a perfect day"

Another year has gone by and I took care of the taxes and netfiled today. We're getting money back again this year. That's good. we need it.

It's Earthday.

Don't forget to go to the gas station three or four times in your Hummer today. When you're done there go to a fast food joint that has styrofoam containers, over eat and throw the litter out the window as you barrel down the highway on the way to nowhere.

Ensure also that you smoke a cigarette and throw it out the window of your gas guzzling SUV into some dry underbrush to start a forest fire.

Trees. Who needs 'em? They only block your view of the beautiful concrete buildings.

Finally, find as many old hairspray cans as possible and just spray everywhere to celebrate. Hooray for Earthday!

Being a fan (and a Nova Scotian) I scored 10 out 10 on this Trailer Park Boys quiz.

For scoring perfect I got this message:
Nice job. Let's get drunk and eat chicken fingers. (The good kind.)

Well there you go. It's a German Pope.

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English

30% Yankee

5% Midwestern

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Dixie

There's a new Pope. No word on who yet, but there is one. Whatever that means...

Not exactly a turbo Ninja but I bet it goes as fast. Thanks to Carol and Fiona for this little gem.

CBC News: Third trial finds Kelly Ellard guilty of murder
Finally.

CBC News: Ontario won't charge Homolka in sister's death
She's just about to get out. I wonder what will happen with her. There's a lot of hate in this country for this woman.

Man to wife: Honey, how long has this man been living in our closet?

The subjects came off our house sale on Saturday so now it's official. Thanks to our awesome real estate agent, Shirley Nelson, we're no longer home owners. To hell with the Joneses we're the Brownes and we'll blaze our own trails. We don't want to play the game just because it's what you're 'supposed to do'. That's not very creative at all.

I feel a bit relieved, but will be more so when we find a new place to rent. As we suspected there aren't a ton of places that allow dogs as far as I can see and it will take some searching to find the right place. Moosh is an older dog and not a problem at all, but that doesn't help when it comes to renting. Landlords don't tend to bend the rules just because you have a 'good dog'.

We have some criteria for a new place. Here the list of things we want:

• dogs welcome


• no in house basement suites - condo apartments or townhouses only


• not on ground floor (not 100% firm on this)


• lots of natural light - better for plants and people


• soundproofing or concrete building


• two bedrooms or one bedroom and a den


• as many utilities included as possible


• dishwasher - hand washing sucks ass


• prefer in suite laundry but shared is acceptable


• few to no kids in building (especially directly adjacent)


• in Vancouver city proper close to the action


• ample parking (prefer secured)


• non-smoking (cigarettes and drugs)


• reasonable price

If any of you know of a place or places like this feel free to send suggestions to me at mikebrowne[at]gmail.com

What a day. Not much blogging. I've been too busy to think about it. I stayed up late to watch the Pope's funeral. Not because I'm Catholic, just because it was fascinating to see the regal trappings of a very popular figure's send off. It was cool to see that many people gathered together in one place peacefully to celebrate one person's life.

We had our house inspection which went 'fine' so I was out for most of the day to let them do their thing. The subjects should come off as of tomorrow if there's nothing unforeseen in the meantime. My fingers and toes are all crossed. I'm not sure how I'm able to type.

I got a phone call asking me to work as 2nd AD on a TV pilot being filmed here starting next weekend. If all goes well and it gets picked up I may have a gig for the entire series. How cool is that? I'm excited.

Finally, it's 11 years since Kurt Cobain was found after he did himself in with a shotgun blast to the head. We still miss you Kurt. Too bad you joined that 'stupid club'.

Applied for EI today. Geez that's humiliating. I didn't think I'd ever have to do something like this again. What a yucky feeling. I went into the office to apply, but I didn't have to. I was told to come home and do it here over the web. I'm glad I went in though. I got the displeasure of hearing some other gentleman screeching at the nice lady at the reception desk. He didn't have his permanent residency card and was howling at this woman like it was her fault. Eek! After he left (we were he only two who wanted to see reception) I told her I wouldn't be that difficult. We both had a good laugh. I still didn't feel so hot about even being there.

I'm still pretty stunned, and my pride's kicking up quite a stink, that I have to even apply for EI. Hell I thought I was doing a great job where I was. It felt too easy somedays. I guess 'work' has to be hard and you have to spend a lot of time to get things done to appear productive in some people's eyes, even when you're handily completing tasks that month's before you had no idea you could do. How someone could begrudge needing a little direction when new to something is beyond me, but that's the way it is I guess. I thought admitting to the need for and asking for help was really a strong person's thing to do. Perhaps not everyone sees it that way.

If I ever want to drive here to Nova Scotia I don't really need directions. I'd just hop on the number one and head East. Not according to the directions feature on Google maps. To go from our place here in Maple Ridge BC to Ma and Pa Browne's house in Bridgewater NS we apparenlty need to go through the US. Perhaps it's quicker. I'm not sure why that would be any fatser at all, but here are the directions. I guess I'd get to miss the Prairies. Hmmm... maybe not such bad directions after all.

Canadians may need 'laser visa' to cross U.S. border. Traveling from Canada to the US is about to get a little more complicated. I thought we were friends. Oh well, guess we're evil too.

This stunt coordinator turned singer seems to have his heart in the right place. But I'm not sure Dennis Madalone should be singing at all. To put this as bluntly as I possibly can without pulling punches - this sucks! His website is awfully cheesy too. Moosh's ears started to bleed upon first hearing. I think the animal cruelty folks will be around to remove Moosh from an auditorily abusive situation. The video is just as bad but Moosh isn't interested in that and frankly, neither am I ecept from that 'car crash' perspective.

He can't be serious... Can he? Perhaps one too many 'high falls', extended periods with out oxygen during stunt 'burns' or years of cranial abuse due to stair tumbles has rattled this guy to the point where he believes he can sing. To each his own I guess. Maybe he'll make a lot of money for charity. My bet is it won't come for being a talented singer. William Hung, eat your heart out.

I do. I'm looking like Grizzly Adams of late. I hate shaving as I'm constantly slashing my old mug to bits. I guess you're supposed to use the razor up and down not side to side. Who knew? Anyway, here's a great article on getting the perfect shave.

We sold the house on Friday. Four days to sell at full asking price. Holy smokes I like real estate investing. Not everything gives you 34% more than you paid after only 4 years. Call me 'the Mike' (as in Trump). I want to buy more just for investment's sake.

The subjects come off on Saturday and we close June 30 to be out by July 2. Look out downtown Vancouver. Here we come. Looks like we'll be hitting up craigslist a lot in our quest for a two bedroom place that takes dogs. Wish us luck for that one too. The good vibes are working great so far. Thanks!

No jokes. No stupid pranks. Just a post from little old me letting you all know I'm still alive. I hope that no one busted you too badly today.

The house isn't even on the market officially and we've had a viewing already with two more scheduled for tonight. We won't be around much this weekend but hopefully we'll have some good news. Apparently the market is very hot in our price range. Here's hoping.

What else is up? Terry Schiavo is finally at rest (but her family isn't) and the Pope is soon to follow. I guess his convalescing hasn't been going so well. Odd how the church never really gives it's followers the whole truth until they can't avoid it any longer.