We've had no kids at all yet. None! What the hell? I know there are kids on the building but I'll be damned if I'm going around to deliver Halloween candy to them. If they want it they can come and get it. I went to a lot of trouble for my Halloween costume.

Seriously though my "costume" is the scariest one ever. Remember Spookyfish the episode of South Park where an evil version of Cartman shows up and is nice to everyone? See photo below:


The only difference visually is the goatee. Much like Evil Spock from that episode of Star Trek:


Goatees do denote evil. So, just in time for Halloween ----->

Deep in the night I am looking for some fun so touch my tra la la!

Wake up from your asleep he's electronik supersonic too!

Hooray for Zlad!

Welcome to Molvania (yes there's another video there - He is the Anti-Pope)!

I know we've seen it before but it's always worth another look.

Carol and I just got home from seeing the premiere of Saw 2. This one boasted a bigger budget ($4 million as opposed to $1.2 million last time) and as a result producers could afford a few more people to kill off and a bit more gore. That pretty much says it all, because that's what we got. If you liked Saw and expect the same creatively creepy writing and directing you'll be disappointed. We were.

No, it wasn't only the guy in front of us who Carol said smelled of beer and cigarettes. I thought he smelled more like something buried with a bad batch of kimchi (if you can imagine something smelling worse than good kimchi). The movie kind of stank too. Sure there was tons of gore and scenes that had us squirming and even a bit of "what's going to happen next?", all great qualities of a horror film, but there were many other parts of the film that had me thinking about the DVD's I'd just bought and wondering what Moosh was up to. You've got to keep me on edge. Don't let me get bored. By the end of the flick I felt my intelligence had been insulted and a hack saw dragged across the wound. It was one of those endings. You'll know what I mean when you see it yourself. UGH!

Dear studios and producers, people are not that stupid, please let us leave the theatre with our dignity. The test audience full of grandmothers, drunks and figure skaters on an outing doesn't understand horror.

The fact that a relative unknown in the directing chair named Darren Lynn Bousman who's credit's include Honey Wagon Attendant on the X-Files helmed this limping rehash of a fun little horror movie should have been the first thing to tip me off, but no... We had to see it. I'm glad I didn't pay.

I know everyone has to get their start somewhere, but Honey Wagon Attendant? I guess he's used to dealing with pieces of shit, becayse he just made one. This particular piece of shit will garner him the coveted box office top this Halloween weekend so my hat's off to him. The next time I'm holding my breath and squeezing one out on set in one of those awful honey wagons I'll think of him. I have a horrendous honey wagon story that I'll tell sometime, but not now.

One last thing, the Saw 2 website wouldn't let me into the unrated version as it was too GD stupid to read a Canadian postal code. I, the person with much darker things in my head (that I'm trying to get written down) had to play in the kiddie pool. Up yours Saw 2, but congrats on taking the weekend.

My Saw 2 experience rates a 5 and a half stars out of ten. It's a pass, but barely.

Stuff On Fire: WWHW? (What Would Hannibal Wear?)

Thanks Goferboy! That's pretty creepy and very Halloweeny!

Pauly sent me the above photo. Yes, I laughed. Well done. It helps me better understand the true passion of these loud people in the blue and white jerseys. I too think the kid in the Canadiens (not a misspelling just francaise - ugh) should have to sit alone. However, the rest of the children should all be given Canucks jerseys to assist them in cheering for a 'good' Canadian hockey team. Hah!

I just got an email from the Georgia Straight promotions department, it looks like Carol and I are going to the premiere of Saw II on Thursday. Time to drag out the Saw 2 shirt we got at the HP Lovecraft film festival. I was a little concerned that this movie might not be so great and was waffling on paying to see it. Now we don't have to. Expect a review on Thursday night.

Like zombies? I do. Check out this article on zombie flicks from GreenCine: Zombies. I'm about to watch I Walked with a Zombie on DVD so the above is the perfect article to get me going.

CBC Arts: 'Little Rascals' chubby sidekick dies
Another of the Little Rascals is gone. The shorts are still funny and Porky (Gordon Lee) was one of my favourite characters.

Check out the lists of horror films to watch just in time for Halloween from my favourite movie review site ROTTEN TOMATOES. There are five different categories, yes, even one for families so the kids aren't totally traumatized.

That's me. Not a surprise.

It's been a long time since I've done a lunch episode so bear with me. Above we see faithful lunch follower, longtime blog reader and owner of hurtstothink.com. Wes and I have been threatening to actually do lunch for years. Finally, last Friday, Wes and I met up at the kegendary Roxy Burger on Granville.

Happy birthday to IMDb, the film industry's online database standard! It's 15 today. Check out the anniversay site here: IMDb 15th Anniversary

I made IMDb. Here's my listing! I know it's pathetic with only one credit there, but there are others on the way. I'm currently working as 2nd Assistant Director on the opening shots of a feature already shot in New Zealand called Air Force 2 Down starring Mariel Hemingway and David Keith. And my credit should show up very soon for my work as Trainee Assistant Director on The Spiritual Guilt Trip as well. I somehow didn't make the first listing. I hope that can be rectified.

From Cinematical.com: Run For Your Lives, the Sheep are Coming!
Baaaa! *hack slash* *spurt* EEEEEEEK! Need I say more? Oh those darn Kiwis!

CBC Sports: Brett Hull announces his retirement
You did not so bad.

...you can never outsmart a kid!!!!

A little kid is sitting in biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon in nature is that only humans stutter. No other animal in the world does this.
Suddenly, the litttle boy's hand shoots up. Not correct Miss! he says.
Please explain, Christopher, replies the teacher.
"Well, Miss, just the other day I was playing with my cat on the veranda, when
the neighbour's Rottweiller came around the corner."

My cat went "fffffffff! ffffffff! ffffffffff!"

But before he could say "Fuck off!" the dog ate him.

My dad, the veterinarian, sent this joke. :/

CBC Arts: Craig - Daniel Craig - confirmed as new Bond
Sure Daniel Craig will do a bang up job with what is put in front of him script-wise, but there hasn't been a truly decent James Bond film since Roger Moore as "Bond, James Bond" in The Man With the Golden Gun in 1974. Bond hasn't evolved at all since then and has become a mindless sissy ass who relies on gadgets to get his job done and overcompensates for latent homosexual tendencies by bedding everything female with a weird name he meets. He gives brits a bad name frankly.

Bond needs an overhaul. Bond needs to go away from the upper class snobbery and be a more working class everyman. Perhaps more like an ex-SAS operative than the Queen's butler. Bond and Miss Moneypenny should be doing the nasty and he just blows off all the other advances out of loyalty to her. That's cool. Also, he needs to be a little tougher. Bring some big monkey (Jaws from Moonraker size) in and have Bond scrap it out with him winning only by inches. He can have brains and brawn and some class too, but I sure as hell don't relate to him as he is.

Want a real everyman's hero? Watch Raiders of the Lost Ark again. Indiana Jones is the best.

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read the post straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners .

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care .

Pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life.

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." (Charles Schultz)

Thanks to birthmom Dianne for this. See you on Saturday!

Even the venue was creepy for the HP Lovecraft Film Festival in Portland, Oregon this past weekend. Carol and I had a blast seeing many shorts and features all based (some more loosely than others) on Lovecraft's work.

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Film | Texas Massacre tops horror poll
This comes to you from from MovieBlog.com.

Their list:

1. Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
2. Halloween (1978)
3. Suspiria (1977)
4. Dawn of the Dead (1978)
5. The Shining (1980)
6. Psycho (1960)
7. The Wicker Man (1973)
8. Rosemary's Baby (1968)
9. Don't Look Now (1973)
10. Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Interesting list but I'm not sure I agree with all of their choices. I haven't seen the bottom two on the list yet so I can't comment on those.

Here's my list:

1. The Exorcist (1973)
2. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
3. Jaws (1975)
4. Halloween (1978)
5. Psycho (1969)
6. Evil Dead 2 (1987)
7. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
8. Rosemary's Baby (1968)
9. John Carpenter's The Thing (1982)
10. Alien (1979)

What do you think?

We're off to The H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival: Cosmic Horror & Weird Tales in Portland, Oregon. Very Exciting! As well as a number of shorts and feature films based on Lovecraft's works Stuart Gordon, director of Re-Animator and From Beyond will be doing 2 Q & A sessions. Also of note punk rock icon Patti Smith will be performing on Saturday night.

And we're off. Hopefully there's internet connection nearby to blog all of our adventures. If not we'll do a recap when we get home.

In celebration of the NHL's return (and yes the Canucks won game one against Gretzky's Coyotes!) we bring you NHL Academy. You can learn to be a professional hockey player in your own home and my bet is that the salary you'll be worth will help any team stay well within that salary cap.

Remember Kanye West's little outburst on the telethon with Mike Meyers? Anyway, they dealt with it on SNL's season opener last week.

Check out the video: Kanye West and Mike Meyers on SNL | The Superficial

Too funny. Cool that everyone involved actually played along. Where was Chris Tucker though?

I love Arrow in the Head, JoBlo's Horror site, and now this blog is mentioned on it! Cool! At least they're giving me credit. Some of the other prominent horror sites out there aren't mentioning me at all. Bastids. Too Arrow in the Head spelled my name wrong, but I'm used to it. People always miss the 'e' on the end of Browne. Check it out here - Arrow in the Head News: Wicker Man pics
UPDATE: Wait, I just checked the web stats for the site and found I was linked to from Upcoming Horror Movies too... article here (No mention of my blog, just a link), GoreZone, Dark Horizons, Ain't it Cool News (which brought over 11000 vistors), Bloody Disgusting, eSplatter.com, HorrorMovies.ca, and IMDb (which brought 3000+ vistors).

CBC Arts: British comedian Ronnie Barker dead
Sad. We used to watch The Two Ronnies a lot as kids.
It's goodnight from me. And, goodnight from him.

Like Monty Python's Flying Curcus? I sure do. I have all the scripts in book form, but now I can read them all online as well. Check out:
Monty Python's Flying Circus - Just the Words
My favourite? Why it's Dead Parrot of course.

No picture. Just sound... and irristatingly so: iiiiiiii

Refresh to hear it again.