Huge fire that started today on the Hollywood Hills. We stood there waiting for the Hollywood Sign to catch fire..luckily after a few hour it was under control..though the Hollywood sign on fire would be an awesome picture (hate to admit it)..haha. I'm glad no homes or lives were lost. (I enhanced the contrast a bit cause the smoke was kinda hard to see)

[source Shanty Cheryl at flickr.com]

Great shot Cheryl. Thanks for letting me use it. Very eerie.

There's more on the fire at dailybreeze.com. Apparently two youths playing with fireworks started it. If you want to see more photos there are plenty more on flickr.

I'm glad he sign didn't go. I love L.A. just the way it is, warts and all.

We had another tough day today. This one probably the hardest yet.

Our dear old dog, Moosh, has gone to the big field in the sky. She had become very dizzy, was falling down and was confused.

It turns out she was having strokes rather than just vestibular disease and her heart was calling it quits. We found a lump on her neck that turned out to be an infected salivary gland and took her to the vet this afternoon fearing the worst. The vet said he didn't believe that she would survive the required treatment for the glandular infection and may only have lived a few days longer. He confirmed what we suspected last night, that probably the kindest thing we could do for Moosh was to relieve her suffering.

Dr Loff gently walked us through the whole ordeal as I'd seen Dad, as a veterinarian, do a number of times. He made Moosh comfortable with a soft bed and blanket and we were with her as he relaxed her with the first shot and as she went off to sleep with the second one. Moosh passed away very peacefully at approximately 4:15pm our time. Moosh had a warm loving spirit right to the very end. She was nearly 15 years old and very easy to love.

We're having her privately cremated and will spread her ashes in a couple of her favourite places, namely Ambleside Beach and Lynn Valley's nature trails.

We'll miss our friend are sad to have lost her, but are glad she's not suffering any more.

I think tomorrow I'll do a more creative memorial.

I love you Moosh. I sure will miss you.

Our lives seem to have turned into a very bad country music song:

I'm not working, we have no money, the bills and debts are piling up, we're having tax troubles, our home is being sold, we're not sure where we're going and now... our beloved dog and best friend has passed away. Joke is on us. Hello, good luck? Where the hell have you gone. We really need a break. The stress is unbelievable.

Dear universe: HELP!

Sometimes life on life's terms really sucks ass. Why the hell does it have to suck so much at once?

Cliché time: "It never rains, it pours."

Whoever said that needs a hard kick in the nuts.

It'll take more than a little Bob Marley to help us through this one.

That actually looks a lot like me. You can create your own WeeMee if you like. Just head on over to my profile on the site. After you're done you can use your WeeMee as your icon on a variety of blogs and other Web 2.0 sites. Fun.

"IRWINDALE, Calif. -- Eddie Griffin crashed a rare Ferrari Enzo worth $1.5 million into a concrete barrier while practicing at a racetrack Monday, destroying the car but escaping uninjured.

The comedian was practicing for a charity race to promote his upcoming film, "Redline," when he drove too fast around a curve at the Irwindale Speedway. Video footage showed the red sports car screeching before it ricocheted off the barrier with heavy damage to its front.

"Undercover Brother's good at karate and all the rest of that, but the brother can't drive," Griffin, referring to one his past films, said after the accident.

The film's publicist, Wendy Zocks, said Griffin was "doing OK."

[more at source: ESPN.com]

When we were in L.A. last we saw Eddie Griffin on Sunset Blvd in the passenger seat of a convertible. Note that I said 'passenger seat'. I guess his friends have known for years not to let him drive.

So we might be moving. We'll be okay:
[source shoutwire]

Bob Marley's music always cheers me up, and no I am not smoking anything.

[source black20]

Bergman thought Hitler was "charismatic" when he saw him speak

Legendary Swedish director Ingmar Bergman has revealed that he was a great admirer of Adolf Hitler, only losing his enthusiasm for Nazism after the horrors of the concentration camps were uncovered.

"When the doors to the concentration camps were thrown open, at first I did not want to believe my eyes."

"When the truth came out it was a hideous shock for me. In a brutal and violent way I was suddenly ripped of my innocence."

[more at source BBC News]

I'm too depressed to blog much today. The home we love is being sold. We're still not sure what's happening. All we know is the house is for sale and we very probably have to vacate the premises. We don't know when or where we're going or how we're going to manage. We thought we would be here until at least after the Olympics, but that's changed. Having a decision about our security made for us is one of the most unpleasant things I've ever been through.

I haven't been working much and our finances are in tatters. I've never quite bounced back after losing my job at Bodog. It feels like being run over by a gigantic snowball that's been following me for the two years since I left that gig. That said, this feels worse than losing a job.

This is the last thing we need right now. I spent the afternoon curled up in a ball on the floor with my dog. Thank goodness for her, she kept me company. Carol's upset too, but neither of us seem to be losing it at the same time, so we've been able to be there for each other.

I have a horrendous emotional hangover. My stomach hurts and so does my head.

All of us are very upset, Bennett and Moosh too. I'm not sure if it's the stress, but Moosh's health has taken a turn for the worse. It appears her vestibular disease is back and she is having trouble walking again. Her timing is impeccable. Ugh. We have to find a place not only that will handle us and all our stuff but a sick old dog too, which is extremely hard to come by, and within our very limited budget. I just feel sick every time I think about it.

People are saying things like buy the house. My response is, "with what?" We're broker than broke and owe more than we can pay already.

I'm very afraid of what's looming. We don't have parents in the province so we can't ask for help like moving in for a while. We're running out of options, I don't know what we're going to do.

This has been the darkest day I can remember in the last 15 years. Help had better be around the corner. I'm not sure how much more either of us can take.

I was in Harrison BC overnight on Tuesday put up in the Executive Inn by Circle Productions so I could get up and work as 2nd AD on a commercial at the Hemlock Valley Resort in the morning. The ad was for Coca-Cola® Snow Mountain which is under construction at the Stone Mountain amusement park in Georgia. We had a great time in the snow with actors and extras building snowmen, having snowball fights, roasting marshmallows and tubing. There was even an appearance by the Coca-Cola polar bear on a tube.

I was drenched from being out in the snow and tired from dragging my out of shape ass up and down the tubing hill at least 15 times, but I had a great time.

I met a relative, who was working as an actor on the shoot. His title? "Ethnic Father". Here's Alistair Browne:


Alistair was hilarious. What a friendly guy! We yacked a lot. He grew up in the U.K. so has a British accent and has lots of family in the Carribean. We ended up calling each other cousin all day. I've worked with his wife before. She was in Mind Games, an MoW I worked on last year. He's a great guy. Stay in touch Alistair.

I also met a PA named Justin who had some interesting tattoos. I was amazed when he showed me. He let me take photos.

Here's his left arm:


It's going to be entirely dedicated to the films of Stanley Kubrick. The above is a creepy rendition of Jack Nicholson in The Shining holding his axe. On the other side of his arm is Dave from 2001: A Space Odyssey, but it's not quite done so he asked me to hold off. The plan is to have tattoos of symbols from all of Kubrick's films down to his wrist including a large Lolita on his forearm. He mention that the tattooing in his underarm for The Shining really hurt. I bet.

Here's a shot of his right arm:


This arm is all about Star Wars. Boba Fett, Darth Vader, Bespin's Cloud City, storm troopers and Han Solo encased in carbonite have made the cut so far because, "Empire is the tits!" according to Justin. Slave Leia from Return of the Jedi will grace the inside of his forearm from elbow to wrist as he continues.

I've actually considered tattoos of pop culture stuff I like a few times, but am too much of a chicken to go ahead with it. Justin appears not to have the same concerns as I do.

"Calvert DeForest, the roly-poly character actor with the black-framed glasses and seemingly clueless delivery who developed a cult following as Larry "Bud" Melman on "Late Night with David Letterman" in the 1980s, has died. He was 85."

[more at source Los Angeles Times]

Goodbye Larry Bud Melman. You were one funny dude.

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things -- reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them -- in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

-- Vonnegut, Kurt Vonnegut, Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction (New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons 1999), 9-10.

[source americanstate.org]

VANCOUVER (NEWS1130) - A Vancouver firefighter and his son have been charged with assaulting an officer and obstructing police following a weekend confrontation downtown. Parts of the incident were also caught on tape and posted to the popular video website "YouTube".

Vancouver Police say 44 year old Curtis Mason, and his 20 year son Grant Mason were each charged with 1 count of assaulting a police officer, and 2 counts of willful obstruction of police. Vancouver Fire Captain Rob Jones Cook confirms a 13 year member of the department has been charged.

Police say the incident started when 3 officers were called to investigate a single car crash at Seymour and Robson. Constable Howard Chow says two occupants of the car were extremely confrontational with the officers. One man identified himself as an off-duty fireman. Chow says a major fight broke out between the 3 officers and 2 men, before they were finally subdued and arrested. The female driver of the car received a 24-hour license suspension for having alcohol in her system. Meanwhile, two police cruisers heading to the scene for back-up ended up crashing into each other a few blocks away.

The YouTube video clip shows police officers struggling on the ground with two men. Firefighters in full gear stand around them, and at one point, another officer runs over and appears to hit someone with a baton a couple of times. Chow confirms the YouTube video is of the Vancouver incident.

[sources News 1130 and JDDM at the Canucks.com Forum]

"LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - U.S. health officials said on Monday they expected the number of pet deaths to increase as they probe the cause of tainted pet food that has already killed at least 10 animals through kidney failure."

[more at Reuters.ca]

Moosh's wet food, that she's not liking anymore anyway, is on the list on the Menu Foods recall site. I'm sure Moosh is fine, but just in case she'll be sticking to the dry food for a bit. It's sad that people have lost their pets over this.

"A first-class passenger on a flight from Delhi to London awoke find the corpse of a woman who had died in the economy cabin being placed in a seat next to him, British Airways said Monday."

[more at source: Newsvine]

I guess she was just dying for an upgrade. I'm here all week. Try the veal.

Instead of slugging the guy why didn't he just step out of the way? What a puss. I smell another suspension. Simon went out for the year for his stick hit on Hollweg, how much you wanna bet that's what happens here too.

There's a Leprechaun in Mobile Alabama...

Leprechaun Name Your Leprechaun Name is Sneaky O'Malley Get Your Leprechaun Name at Quizopolis.com

If that doesn't make your ears bleed I don't know what will. Frank Sinatra, eat your heart out. Miss ya Sidney!

More Internet Safety Tips at CRACKED.com

I read MAD and CRACKED lots as a kid. I'd often get a couple of theses magazines in my Xmas stocking.

I liked it before. Even better now.

Stay off the ice:


Seriously:


You could get hurt.

Thanks to LuongoIsGod and Mat83 at Canucks.com forum.

The Hubble Deep Field: The Most Important Image Ever Taken

In 2003, the Hubble Space Telescope took the image of a millenium, an image that shows our place in the universe. Anyone who understands what this image represents, is forever changed by it.

Thanks to ovechkinisgod at the Canucks.com Forum for the link to the video.

That was amazing. What a beautiful use of some Pink Floyd's Shine on You Crazy Diamond.

More on the Deep Field at the HubbleSite and deepastronomy.com

I worked on this movie and finally got a copy of this travesty on DVD. It stars Mariel Hemingway, who was very nice, and David Keith, who didn't like me very much. Ugh! Here's a screenshot of absolutely the best thing about this film:

I worked on a TV show last night at Richards on Richards for CMT and Rugged Media. It was for two episodes of Live and Up Front featuring country artists Carolyn Dawn Johnson and Emerson Drive. Not being a country music fan I wasn't looking forward to this. As expected I didn't enjoy most of the music although I recognized some of it. That's something. Also, to say either of these artists aren't pros in there genre would be a lie. They definitely gave it there all. Passionate art is hard to slag, even if it is country music. Blech.

Anyway, I got meet and work with some cool folks. The artists were pretty nice too.

One of the guys I met was operating the gigantic mixing board with the dual 32 inch plasma monitors in the huge Winnebago at the back of the club. He's worked with Bob Rock on a number of albums for artists like Aerosmith and AC/DC.

I spoke with him at length about AC/DC. He told me that Angus Young, the lead guitar player, is a very funny guy who neither drinks nor smokes anything other than cigarettes which he does with vigor. He also told me that Young played the whole track Thunderstruck live, a smoke hanging out of his mouth. Cool!


Here's a video of the song live at Donington:


So all in all the night wasn't a bust. I had lots of fun and learned a lot. I think I actually prefer working on music video style stuff.

A short film from 2003 by George Plamondon. Thanks to attaboy.ca

A big shout out and a thank you to Canaacks from the Canucks.com forum for posting this on YouTube and sending me the link.

Hockey Primer by Denis Lemieux

Who said hockey players are dumb?

We watched last night. And laughed our asses off at this for the millionth time.

Either I've completely lost my mind or Rob Zombie doesn't understand the word 'teaser'. I felt like falling asleep. All those who think this unnecessary remake is going to stink are probably right on the money. I'll stick with Carpenter's version even before this one comes out and the retarded 15 year olds say, "It rulez!@!!! Rob Zombie FTW!!!%^#@!"

My pre-response (in their own dumb lingo): G-HEY!

"Richard Jeni (seen at left during a recent appearance with fellow funny man Chris Rock), a standup comedian who played to sold-out crowds, was a regular on the "Tonight Show" and appeared in movies, died of a gunshot wound in an apparent suicide, police said Sunday.

Police found the 45-year-old comedian alive but gravely injured in a West Hollywood home when they responded to a call Saturday morning from Jeni's girlfriend, Los Angeles Police Officer Norma Eisenman said.

Eisenman said the caller told police: "My boyfriend shot himself in the face."

Jeni died at a nearby hospital."

Eisenman said suicide had not been officially confirmed and the investigation was continuing.

[source Newsvine]

He did not look well in that photo. No one is talking about a possible reason yet, however I read this at a post on the Opie & Anthony forum, Wackbag.com:

"It is said that he chose to do so because of seemingly intractable medical problems, the nature of which we are not privy to." # posted by SHECKYmagazine.com @ 8:33 PM

Very sad. I'll remember Richard Jeni fondly. He made me laugh.

Here he is on political parties:

There was another hockey violence episode last night during the the game between hometown rivals, the New York Rangers and the New York Islanders. Here's some disturbing video of the incident from YouTube and HockeyFights.com:

Chris Simon's two-hander on Ryan Hollweg after Hollweg's hit on Simon from the Rangers at Islanders game on Mar 8, 2007.

Ugly.

The Islanders scored on the ensuing power play and went on to win the game 2 - 1. Duh Simon, duh!

I realize that hockey is a contact sport and fighting is part of the game, but this kind of behaviour should not be.

According to CBC Chris Simon has been suspended pending investigation of the incident. Of course he has. We've seen this kind of thing a few times before. Who can forget the infamous Bertuzzi on Moore incident? As a Canucks fan I know I can't. Also, another Canuck related incident was the stick slash to the head by Boston's Marty McSorley on Vancouver's Donald Brashear.

Always temporary suspensions. Why not expulsion? Perhaps if a player shows this kind of lack of control they don't deserve to play the game any more. Making an example of someone might just prevent a death later on. Just few centimeters lower and Simon could have crushed Hollweg's larynx and killed him. Come on Mr Campbell. Take a stand and end this crap.

An oldie but a goody. I know it's lame. That's what makes it funny you silly goose.

I didn't know you could make a hot dog so unappealing.

Carol has mentioned Make Magazine to me before, but I wasn't really interested until I saw Mark Frauenfelder (also a blogger for Boing Boing) on the Colbert Report the other night. Now I'm hooked. I love this stuff. Nerdy cool for sure. We've subscribed and now get both the hard copy and digital editions.

I think the first thing I'll build is the $14 Steady Cam from volume 1 of the magazine. I've seen it before but I'm feeling more inspired now.

We're going to subscribe to subscribing to Craft Magazine as well at Carol's urging. She needs to knit me a pie. I'm not sure why. There's a lot of cool stuff there too.

They're not all terrorists you know.

*** NOTE: Had this test said I were stupid I don't think we'd have ever seen this post. I'm not stupid. ***

Canada is ranked No. 1 in a new world popularity poll that looked at attitudes toward 12 major nations. Israel received the worst rating of the group.

[source: Sympatico / MSN]

The bottom three: U.S., Iran and Isreal.

Based on the epic graphic novel by Frank Miller, 300 is a ferocious retelling of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae in which King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite.

Carol and I just arrived home from the Vancouver premiere of Zack Snyder (Dawn of the Dead 2004) and Frank Miller's (Sin City) much anticipated collaborative effort simply titled 300. Thanks to Mark of The Hollywood North Report for the tickets!

We were first in line for the event so we had our pick of seats. Security, who arrived right after us, was extremely tight. They frisked everyone with metal detectors and checked people's bags for recording devices taking away camera batteries, video phone batteries and miniDV cams, if found, to be returned later.

I guess Warner Brothers wasn't willing to have the film leak out via some shabby cam version made this evening by a dastardly pirate. I'm sure it will show up on a torrent site this weekend after those all important opening bucks get raked in by the studio. The security part of the evening was slightly uncomfortable and somewhat intrusive, but I forgot about that when the film started.

The cinematography was nothing short of spectacular. Every brilliant shot looked as though it were a masterpiece painted by some long forgotten master. I was expecting the heavy use of CG to take me out of the film, but that wasn't so at all. It looked like Miller's graphic novel come to life. To say it was gorgeously shot doesn't do this film justice. To watch it you would never know that it was shot entirely in a studio in Montreal, Quebec against green screen. No, they weren't outside. Wow!


The story was far tighter than I had expected and the over the top dialogue we saw in the trailer actually earned it's way onto the screen. I found myself immersed in this telling of the ancient tale of King Leonidas, masterfully played by The Phantom of the Opera's Gerard Butler, and his 300 Spartan warriors' fight against the invasion of Greece by the Persian empire's hordes of creepy assassins lead by the evil God/King Xerxes. The good guys were easy to care about and the bad guys even easier to hate.

Tyler Bates soundtrack topped it all off. I could listen to it over and over. Bates described the score as having "beautiful themes on the top and large choir", but "tempered with some extreme heaviness". You can listen to a bit of it at the 300 soundtrack site.

Just a bit of a caveat, if you are put off by nudity, sexuality and violence 300 is absolutely not the film for you. It pulled few punches in those departments. I think this be one of the most graphically violent films I have ever seen. I've seen many violent movies, but 300 went that much further. It is, after all, a film about war in barbaric times. Though cartoon like at times, I still cringed in many spots and let me tell you, if a movie can make me cringe it is cringe worthy.

It's okay for a hetero man to like a movie with amazingly fit and half naked men in it right? There were a few times I flashed on that scene from Airplane with the kid in the cockpit:

Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

I'm sure I came away unscathed without too much of 'the gay' on me. A vast array of naked boobage and an orgy scene full of Persian whores cleansed the pallet washing away all the fruitiness.

I want to see 300 again... and again. I'll pass on the theatre for now. Too much talking and seat kicking for spoiled old HDTV owning me. We eagerly await 300's release on DVD.

You however should go see it in the theatre. Don't miss this on the big screen. This movie is what Troy and Alexander wish they were. It's not often you hear a crowd applaud at certain parts of a film any more but they did for 300 in a few parts.

Watch the trailer just in case you're not convinced yet.

[read Carol's funny review]

Here's an appalling story from globeandmail.com: From Texas cell, Canadian, 9, pleads for help

Here's a copy of a letter from the boy being held in U.S. custody:


Regardless of the issues the Canadian government has with this boy's family he is a Canadian citizen and deserves to
be treated as such. Not to mention the fact that he is a 9 year old boy in an adult prison. Excuse my French but that is fucked up. Do something Mr. Harper.

[source digg]

"Pyrats" is an animated short film made by 5 french students from the animation school
"Gobelins l'école de l'image" in Paris ,FRANCE.

It was made as an opening short done for the Annecy 2006 international animation festival.
The movie was completed in 7 months (including screenplay, storyboard and designs).
The technique is basically 2D traditionnal animation with some scenes helped by 3D and flash.

Name : PYRATS
Type : student short movie
Lenght : 1min35s
Production : Gobelins, Paris FRANCE (www.gobelins.fr)
Year of production: 2006
Directors : Yves Bigerel , Bruno Dequier, Ben Fiquet, Nicolas Gueroux, Julien Le Rolland
Music : Yves Bigerel performed by Bruno Dequier
Sound design : Gerard Labady
Format : DV PAL
Techniques : traditionnal 2D and 3D
Softwares : Alias MAYA 6.5, Photoshop CS, After effects 6.5, Crater Software CTP, Flash Logic Audio

Well done! And nice use of the Wilhelm scream.

*** I could have posted this using one of the many uploads of it on YouTube, but none of them give proper credit to the creators of this fantastic little short. I beginning to wonder when YouTube is going to implode. They've taken to removing some copyrighted material and leaving others. Some people are even having their own stuff removed siting copyright violations which aren't even a fact. Anyway, that's my YouTube rant of the moment. ***

There are 40 million sheep in New Zealand and they're pissed off:

On a vast New Zealand sheep station, a reckless genetic engineering experiment goes horribly wrong, turning sheep into bloodthirsty killers.

Baa! Looks like fun. This movie is going to do for sheep what Jaws did for sharks.Black Sheep is getting a nationwide release in New Zealand on March 29, 2007, but we here in North America have to wait until a limited release on August 8, 2007. Perhaps it's a wait until DVD situation for most folks. I for one am looking forward to the movie.

The story of a lucky girl who chances upon a visit by a monster and experiences the change of her life! Flying through the everlasting sky, euphoria awaits everyone who embarks on this journey with the happiest monster!

Oh that's cute... but wait... eek! Found at cool stuff.

Last year I went shooting with some gaming buddies of mine outside of Seattle. I took some video but haven't done anything with it, until now. It was fun. I think it's time to head down there again.

This guy was:


[more at source]

There's a new video promoting the upcoming Nine Inch Nails CD. It's available for download over at yearzero.nin.com. I happen to have it right here:


Looks like the CD's release date is April 14, 2007. I must have this.

I have another cool bit of information for you too. At around 5 seconds into this creepy video you'll see what appears to be a sign flash by. Knowing there are multiple levels to this new offering from Trent Reznor I loaded the high resolution .mov file into some video editing software to capture the exact frame at which the sign goes by. Here it is:


Cool! I added the text you see in the lower left so you don't have to squint too much.

I love the effort that's gone into this.

I'm not sure this video from 1984 would make it past the FCC censors of today even though the message is meant to protect kids. Even I felt uncomfortable. So caveat observator. Here it is:

The Fonz educated children on how to avoid being molested, kidnapped, or serenaded by pedos in overalls in this 1984 PSA.

[sources fasthugs via metafilter]

Watching this video reminded me of what happened to me many years ago...

I was attacked by a creep walking home one evening in the summer of 1981, July 29th to be exact (Charles and Diana got married that day). I was walking home alone from a fun day of floor hockey at the Michelin social club with my friends. I had about a kilometer to walk by myself after leaving my buddy Dominic at his place. I was a little nervous and in hindsight I should have called home for a ride, but I was a week away from 12 years old and I'd be darned if I was going to look like a sissy for calling for a ride home.

I was about halfway home I noticed a man following me and my spidey sense started tingling immediately. The faster I walked the more this guy was gaining on me until finally he was right behind me. I pretended to tie my shoe and let him pass me so I could keep an eye on him. The next street was a dead end street, then the town park and then two more houses before home. I was almost there.

The guy turned down the dead end street. Something bad was up then for sure as I knew everyone who lived on the street and he wasn't one of them. As I passed the street he turned and came back toward me. He began to speak...

Bad guy, "Excuse me, do you have the time?"

Me, "I don't have a watch, but I think it's 10 something."

Then he grabbed me and put my arm behind my back. He said, "Don't scream or I'll break your arm," and began dragging me toward the woods in the park.

I started to cry and asked him what he was going to do to me.

He told me, "I'm going to suck your...". You can fill in that last blank with a word that begins with C.

As soon as he said that I screamed, "No you're not!", broke away from him and ran for the nearest house screaming for help at the top of my lungs. He pursued me for a step or two and then must have noticed another person walking down the sidewalk as he took off up the street the way we came.

I got to the house, the police and my parents were called. Dad came and he and I spent some time in the back of a town police car looking for this creep. We didn't find him. I did see him a couple of times that year but was too afraid and embarrassed to say or do anything, and he didn't approach me again. Although I suspected the sicko was following me with his car a couple of times.

One of many weird reactions to that night was my never again wearing the bright red windbreaker I had on that night. I went as far as to hide it from myself in the top of the coat closet underneath the winter hats, mittens and scarves as I didn't want to be reminded of it.

I never spoke of it to my friends and rarely spoke about it to my folks. The whole thing just kind of festered inside until I had a number of meltdowns in the early 90's leading to some positive changes.

I did eventually find out his name, and am tempted to type it here, but as what happened was so far in the past I don't know what if any good it would do to tell anyone that now. How did I find out? It was 12 years after the fact and my girlfriend at the time had been molested by her uncle for a number of years. We were at her grandmother's house and looking through a family photo album. There with the uncle who had totured my girlfriend was the guy who hurt me. I was floored. I told them that this was the guy who had assaulted me and they told me his name. That old cliché 'birds of a feather flock together' sure did ring true that day. Ugh...

Almost 26 years has gone by and every time I think about those events I still feel the fear that I felt that night. I lost my innocence that day at the hands of that individual. I also suffered PTSD for years afterward. My reaction to what happened was not good to say the least. It obviously affected me adversely

I've looked for his address and contact information many times. I'd love to ask him why he did what he did, but I know in my heart he'd deny it ever happened at all.

Sometimes I think I should call the cops in my hometown and tell them I know who he is. Maybe I will, but another part of me just wants to leave it alone. I don't know. It's come up again for a reason...

Sorry for sharing something so dark. I just felt compelled.