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Based on the epic graphic novel by Frank Miller, 300 is a ferocious retelling of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae in which King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite.

Carol and I just arrived home from the Vancouver premiere of Zack Snyder (Dawn of the Dead 2004) and Frank Miller’s (Sin City) much anticipated collaborative effort simply titled 300. Thanks to Mark of The Hollywood North Report for the tickets!

We were first in line for the event so we had our pick of seats. Security, who arrived right after us, was extremely tight. They frisked everyone with metal detectors and checked people’s bags for recording devices taking away camera batteries, video phone batteries and miniDV cams, if found, to be returned later.

I guess Warner Brothers wasn’t willing to have the film leak out via some shabby cam version made this evening by a dastardly pirate. I’m sure it will show up on a torrent site this weekend after those all important opening bucks get raked in by the studio. The security part of the evening was slightly uncomfortable and somewhat intrusive, but I forgot about that when the film started.

The cinematography was nothing short of spectacular. Every brilliant shot looked as though it were a masterpiece painted by some long forgotten master. I was expecting the heavy use of CG to take me out of the film, but that wasn’t so at all. It looked like Miller’s graphic novel come to life. To say it was gorgeously shot doesn’t do this film justice. To watch it you would never know that it was shot entirely in a studio in Montreal, Quebec against green screen. No, they weren’t outside. Wow!

The story was far tighter than I had expected and the over the top dialogue we saw in the trailer actually earned it’s way onto the screen. I found myself immersed in this telling of the ancient tale of King Leonidas, masterfully played by The Phantom of the Opera’s Gerard Butler, and his 300 Spartan warriors’ fight against the invasion of Greece by the Persian empire’s hordes of creepy assassins lead by the evil God/King Xerxes. The good guys were easy to care about and the bad guys even easier to hate.

Tyler Bates soundtrack topped it all off. I could listen to it over and over. Bates described the score as having “beautiful themes on the top and large choir”, but “tempered with some extreme heaviness”. You can listen to a bit of it at the 300 soundtrack site.

Just a bit of a caveat, if you are put off by nudity, sexuality and violence 300 is absolutely not the film for you. It pulled few punches in those departments. I think this be one of the most graphically violent films I have ever seen. I’ve seen many violent movies, but 300 went that much further. It is, after all, a film about war in barbaric times. Though cartoon like at times, I still cringed in many spots and let me tell you, if a movie can make me cringe it is cringe worthy.

It’s okay for a hetero man to like a movie with amazingly fit and half naked men in it right? There were a few times I flashed on that scene from Airplane with the kid in the cockpit:

Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

I’m sure I came away unscathed without too much of ‘the gay’ on me. A vast array of naked boobage and an orgy scene full of Persian whores cleansed the pallet washing away all the fruitiness.

I want to see 300 again… and again. I’ll pass on the theatre for now. Too much talking and seat kicking for spoiled old HDTV owning me. We eagerly await 300′s release on DVD.

You however should go see it in the theatre. Don’t miss this on the big screen. This movie is what Troy and Alexander wish they were. It’s not often you hear a crowd applaud at certain parts of a film any more but they did for 300 in a few parts.

Watch the trailer just in case you’re not convinced yet.

[read Carol's funny review]

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The place I’m working tonight with Masters of Horror is called Overlynn or Fairacres Mansion, just 8 minutes away from here. I worked there once before with the TV show The 4400 (who also called me to work today).

The place felt creepy when I was there and I had to be in the house, specifically the attic, alone whilst wrapping out in the evening with no illumination but my little flashlight. My creative head was telling me that perhaps the place was haunted as something just felt off moments of weird drafts and gooseflesh. I disregarded it as my wanting to see something that wasn’t there and tried to put it out of my mind. When I heard last night that I’d be going back there I thought about doing some research.

I found some interesting stories.
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Thanks to my new friend Mark from HNR Carol and I got to go and see the Vancouver premiere of Final Destination 3 at Cinemark Tinseltown last evening.

James Wong, writer and director of the first in this series of three, has returned to take another stab at scaring horror fans to the box office after being shut out of terrible Final Destination 2 by Newline. Aside from cashing in on the success of the first film (or two), the whole point of making a sequel is to top one’s self creatively. In some respects he succeeded but in others, namely the writing of the piece, the film falls far short.
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On Christmas night, Sunday, Decmeber 25th from 9 pm – 11 pm here in Vancouver on CityTV, the show fromerly known as The Spiritual Guilt Trip, now known as Chasing Christmas will be playing.

Hey who’s that in the credits? Why me of course.

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Carol and I just got home from seeing the premiere of Saw 2. This one boasted a bigger budget ($4 million as opposed to $1.2 million last time) and as a result producers could afford a few more people to kill off and a bit more gore. That pretty much says it all, because that’s what we got. If you liked Saw and expect the same creatively creepy writing and directing you’ll be disappointed. We were.

No, it wasn’t only the guy in front of us who Carol said smelled of beer and cigarettes. I thought he smelled more like something buried with a bad batch of kimchi (if you can imagine something smelling worse than good kimchi). The movie kind of stank too. Sure there was tons of gore and scenes that had us squirming and even a bit of “what’s going to happen next?”, all great qualities of a horror film, but there were many other parts of the film that had me thinking about the DVD’s I’d just bought and wondering what Moosh was up to. You’ve got to keep me on edge. Don’t let me get bored. By the end of the flick I felt my intelligence had been insulted and a hack saw dragged across the wound. It was one of those endings. You’ll know what I mean when you see it yourself. UGH!

Dear studios and producers, people are not that stupid, please let us leave the theatre with our dignity. The test audience full of grandmothers, drunks and figure skaters on an outing doesn’t understand horror.

The fact that a relative unknown in the directing chair named Darren Lynn Bousman who’s credit’s include Honey Wagon Attendant on the X-Files helmed this limping rehash of a fun little horror movie should have been the first thing to tip me off, but no… We had to see it. I’m glad I didn’t pay.

I know everyone has to get their start somewhere, but Honey Wagon Attendant? I guess he’s used to dealing with pieces of shit, becayse he just made one. This particular piece of shit will garner him the coveted box office top this Halloween weekend so my hat’s off to him. The next time I’m holding my breath and squeezing one out on set in one of those awful honey wagons I’ll think of him. I have a horrendous honey wagon story that I’ll tell sometime, but not now.

One last thing, the Saw 2 website wouldn’t let me into the unrated version as it was too GD stupid to read a Canadian postal code. I, the person with much darker things in my head (that I’m trying to get written down) had to play in the kiddie pool. Up yours Saw 2, but congrats on taking the weekend.

My Saw 2 experience rates a 5 and a half stars out of ten. It’s a pass, but barely.

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