Happy Earthday

It’s Earthday.

Don’t forget to go to the gas station three or four times in your Hummer today. When you’re done there go to a fast food joint that has styrofoam containers, over eat and throw the litter out the window as you barrel down the highway on the way to nowhere.

Ensure also that you smoke a cigarette and throw it out the window of your gas guzzling SUV into some dry underbrush to start a forest fire.

Trees. Who needs ’em? They only block your view of the beautiful concrete buildings.

Finally, find as many old hairspray cans as possible and just spray everywhere to celebrate. Hooray for Earthday!