Teen sniper escapes death penalty

Malvo sentenced to life in prison without parole

You’re 18 an you’re never getting out of jail. Ever. Think about that.

As you’re a famous convict you probably won’t ever see general population, so the only people you’ll have any contact with will be counsellors provided to you by the state (who will surely provide you with anti-depressants and other great drugs to ease your oh-so undeserved suffering due to your isolation from the outside world), prison guards and the characters on the TV in your cell. Thank God you were bad enough that you don’t have to go through the degradtion of daily rape in the shower at the hands of some lowly car thief.

You can’t attend school other that the correspondence courses offered through the prison rehab programs. You’ll never have a real job, save the jailhouse lawyer gig for Jimmy your cellmate who hacked off his neighbour’s head with garden shears in a dispute over dandelions, but wasn’t properly read his rights by the attending officers.

You’ll never have a wife outside of some whacko who gets off on the fact you’re a murderer and is sickly attracted to that. The children that you father on brief conjugal visits will have the crap beaten out of them in school everyday as they bear the shame of your name.

You’re paying for it now, buddy. Yikes. Your’s is a fate worse than death… I think.

I’m sure it will sink in when he’s around 25.