Mike Browne’s Blog

On his way to a wine tasting in Napa CA my friend Xero, who I play violent games with online, saw this sign and snapped a photo. People are always spelling my name wrong. I know this isn’t one of those times, but how many f-ing times in my life have I had to correct people? Oodles. I should change my name to Smithe for God’s sake.

CBC Sports: Bertuzzi pleads not guilty to assault
I’m not sure what his defense is going to be, but this trial should be interesting to say the least.

Extreme Gravity Racing Series Lookie! It’s Soap Box Derby for grown ups with cash. I would love a Porshe soap box car. Honestly, that would probably still be way out of our price range. LOL!

Grace sent the following email forwarded to her from a friend along with photos:

On a recent visit to our veterinarian to get shots for our cat I found this recipe on the waiting room bulletin board. After recovering from hysterical laughter, I obtained a copy from the office staff so that my wife could make it, which she refused to do. I took it to work and gave the recipe to a lady at work who loves cats. The pictures show the results of her work, which looks like $#!% but it’s actually quite tasty, so I decided to pass it along.

CAT LITTER CAKE RECIPE

1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 box of white cake mix
1 package white sandwich cookies
1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
A few drops green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent

SERVING “DISHES AND UTENSILS”
1 NEW cat-litter box
1 NEW cat-litter box liner
1 NEW pooper scooper

Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan.
Prepare pudding and chill.
Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor.
Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs.
Mix with a fork or shake in a jar.
Set aside.
When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl.
Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.

Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable.
Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points.
Repeat with three more rolls.
Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture.
Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.
Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted.
Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box.
Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box.
Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper.
Enjoy!

of the beautiful cake.

A reality show for me, finally. IFCTV.com

Click here to find some things that other people did at your age.

Here’s mine – At age 35:

Based on a nightmarish dream, Robert Louis Stevenson wrote The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Russian ambassador Aleksandr Borosovich Kurakin introduced the practice of serving meals in courses.

Frederic William Herschel, an English astronomer, invented the contact lens.

American sprinter Evelyn Ashford won her final Olympic gold medal at age 35, old for a sprinter.

Amedeo Avogadro developed Avogadro’s hypothesis.

Law School professor Anita Hill charged that Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas made indecent remarks to her.

Margie Profet proposed a new theory of menstruation which claims that menstruation protects against infection and won a MacArthur Foundation “genius” grant.

Astronaut Buzz Aldrin achieved his life’s ambition at age 35 and wondered, what do you do after that?

Mozart stopped composing and started, well, you know.

Not written by me. Found while surfing.

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog assholes — I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy — come to kill us all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man — come to kill us all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot —
Sniff this and weep

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.

I HATE my choke chain —
Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot — no greater bliss — well,
Maybe catching rats.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.

The cat is not all
Bad — she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.

Dig under fence — why?
Because it’s there. Because it’s
There. Because it’s there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

You may call them fleas,
But they are far more — I call
Them a vocation

My owners’ mood is
Romantic — I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.

Just for you Bill, I scanned my lunch. This should explain why I’m not doing this anymore. Booooring. Here’s my lunch:

A ham sandwich with spicy mustard on low carb bread. Yes, Dr Atkins is my friend. Dead as a doornail but my friend anyway.

Diet Coke with lime. I like this better than the Pepsi Twist I udes to be obsessed with. I guess I’m a Limey.

And a green apple. This reminds me of the Beatles’ Apple Records logo.

See, not very exciting, but the old formula still works like a hot damn.

CBC News: Two Russian planes crash, 89 feared dead
This is kind of a creepy story. Two planes take off from the same airport minutes apart and both crash. Yikes!

Am I out to lunch or does there seem like a lot of dark news today?