Mike Browne’s Blog

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term exam.

The answer by one student was “so profound” that the professor shared it with his colleagues via the internet, which is of course why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

BONUS QUESTION

Is Hell exothermic [gives off heat] or endothermic [absorbs heat]?

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student however wrote the following:

First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it can not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell; let’s look at the different religions that exists in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With the birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s law states that for the temp and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temp and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose; and

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temp and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So, which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa Harrison, during myfreshman year that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you” and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is Exothermic and will not freeze.

The student was given the only “A” in the class.

We can thank my pal Brett for sending this along. Nice work Bart!

Like you haven’t already…

My penis’s new name is Mickey the Cybernetic TrouserSnake.
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Created with Rum and Monkey‘s Name Generator Generator.

I’ve seen the Orcas in the City all over the place in Vancouver and wondered what the heck they were for and why they were there. I had no idea until now that the Canucks had something to do with them. It’s kind of cool that the team is so active in our community, especially with sick kids.

I’m wiped out.I got in at midnight last night, worked until 1:30 and then couldn’t get to sleep when I finally went to bed. I got up at 4:30 for a 6am call time in Lion’s Bay but not before I dropped in at the office at 5:45am. I should be back to regular posting when this calendar shoot is over. Ithink I’ll go to bed right after dinner. But being tired from what I’ve been doing is very satisfying. I’m really happy with the results so far…

Yikes … This guy has quite the rat’s nest.

Thanks to Tyler the formerly evil sys-admin for inviting me to GMail. I don’t see anywhere that I can invite people to join or I would. I’ll let you know if I find it and we’ll have a contest to see who gets the invites. Feel free to email me at mikebrowne AT gmail.com. I have 1000 mbs worth of spact to fill up with stuff. 🙂

I flew to Nova Scotia and back in 4 days. Boy am I ever glad I went. Thanks to everyone for your condolences and heartfelt good wishes. I appreciate it. I felt like I got to be the son/brother/nephew/cousin/friend I always wanted to be. My family was really glad to see me, especially Mom and Dad. The funeral was as nice as funerals can be and my Uncle Bob was very well remembered. I found myself alternating between being misty-eyed and laughter during the beautiful eulogy appropriatley entitled “Remembering Bob” written by Dr Robin Browne, my cousin and Bob’s eldest son. It was a warm occasion for all considering the circumstances. I felt we celebrated Uncle Bob well. I think I’ll post a picture here later of my family back and Bob and Aunt Connie’s house after the funeral later on.

I also got to see many of my old friends while I was at home. They’re all doing not so badly for themselves. I saw Chris Talbot, who now owns a busy bicycle shop with his pregnant wife Carrie at their home. I saw James, an old freind who now runs a second hand store in Chester and is trying to finish two novels.

Clayton, now working as a real estate agent, and Yvette Banfield and their children, Christopher Roger and Samantha played host to me for a bit on Saturday afternoon, taking me to see the tallship, the Picton Castle. It came into port with Clayton’s dad, Orville, aboard. Orville was also capatin of the Bluenose 2 for a time a few years ago. It was neat to see the whole Banfield clan again (some for the very first time). Clayton is the guy who helped me get started here in BC. Thanks Clayton!

I also got to spend the evening with Brian Plunkett a.k.a. Izzy Iskawiz and met his wife Kim and son Riley who looks a lot like his dad. Brian and I went to my ‘cousin’ Scott Selig’s and hung out woth Scott and His wife Cathy and Ken and Teresa Richardson, more old freinds from high school and beyond. I had a great time…

Finally, I got to spend time with Mom, Dad and rachel but best of all I was home and gave my dad a hug on Father’s day. That made the trip for me.

I’ll post some pcitures and links here soon. I just got home and have to eat dinner anfter a long day of hanging out with swimsuit models and getting paid. I’m serious. There’ll be pics of that too… hehe

But I don’t have the cash to fly on a private spaceship. Too bad… On second thought, whoever designed that ship had no real sense of contemporary style in modern spaceship design. It looks so retro. Like something out of one of my childhood colouring books.

I think it’s true that Michael Moore Hates America. Here comes the arguing…

Just another point of view I guess. Thanks to Jackson (of course) for this little gem.

I’ll blog more when I get back from NS. Until then…