Mike Browne’s Blog

Check out International Jewish Conspiracy. It’s another one Schlemiel!

Take a look at this for a picture you will not be able to shake. You have been warned.

Yes it’s virtual foosball!

Keeping up with the news in the Middle East is, to say the least, distressing. The recent bombings in Saudi Arabia’s capital and daily death and carnage in Isreal and Iraq fill me with dread as to what’s coming next. This video, on Shahada – death for Allah (windows media player required) shows how Palestinian children are encouraged to pursue Shahada as an ideal through harsh propoganda. They believe this life is unimportant. Death whilst killing infidels on the way to the next life is a most noble and highly rewarded act. Parents praise their children who die this way. Call me racist but it’s hard not to sit in judgement of a culture that encourages murder and the suicide of it’s own children.

I found the video link on Apechild.com.

You’re a marine who’s trained with the highest of high tech weapons and other military gear, your athleticism is second to none and you are psychologically prepared for just about anything. Then there’s days like this:

VIDEO: commando.wmv (2.5mb WMV) – right click and choose ‘save as’ to view.

Thanks to Amadou for the video.

Check out The Religious Policeman a.k.a. muttawa.blogspot.com : A Saudi man’s diary of life in the “Magic Kingdom”, where the Religious Police ensure that everything remains as it was in the Middle Ages.

Growing up in Saudi Arabia Carol has had first hand experience with the Mutawa’een – religious police in Saudi Arabia whose duty is to ensure strict adherence to established codes of conduct; offenders may be detained indefinitely; foreigners are not excluded. They don’t sound like a group you’d want to get on the wrong side of.

I love hockey. Just because my Canucks are out for the season after the heartbreaker at GM Place last night to the Clagary Flambés (Misspelling on purpose. I’m still smarting) I needed a place to post other hockey related articles. I’m not one of these fans who says the season is over when my team is out, so I created a Hockey category for the blog. It’s about the sport not just my favourite team.

Anyway, here goes:

Toronto 4 – Ottawa 2

Ottawa just couldn’t pull it off. The Leafs beat up on them once again winning another series in the battle of Ontario. Next the Leafs are off to play Philly in the next round and we have to listen to Pauly rant for at least a few more games.

Here’s CBC’s take on the game.

More playoff talk once it all starts up on the weekend.

Carol sent me this:

One Star Hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness.

You’re able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched.

You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way.

For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss.

You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun.

The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut,

which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM

Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy.

You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag

because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots

your alcoholic friends dared you to drink.

Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns.

You’ve had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke —

yet you haven’t peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing.

You can’t speak too qickly or else you might puke.

Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given

you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but

that can’t hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your

face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on

while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red

vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter perpetual spasm,

and the first of about five Shits you take during the day

brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)

You have a second heartbeat in your head,

which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube.

Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.

You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from

brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out.

Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you.

You don’t have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was

passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate

results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid

with a rare ‘floater’ thrown in. The sole purpose of this

‘floater’ seems to be to splash the toilet water over your ass.

Death sounds pretty good about right now….

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:

Indubitably – Innovative – Preliminary – Proliferation – Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:

Specificity – British Constitution Passive – aggressive disorder – Loquacious – Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:

Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.

Nope, no more booze for me.

Sorry, but you’re not really my type.

Good evening officer isn’t it lovely out tonight.

Oh, I just couldn’t.

No one wants to hear me sing.

Sorry I’m being such a jackass.

…Blast Voters Directly. The campaign posters at the bottom of the article are priceless.

The Onion is so funny. The best part about it is that that some people actually think it’s a real newspaper.

Thanks to Jackson for the link.