Mike Browne’s Blog

Looks like The Cat in the Hat blows. Thanks to jackson for the link.

Here’s a picture of MJ in handcuffs being led into the Santa Barbara County Jail.

Yesterday as Jackson and I were heading out to lunch we thought we saw Lee Majors walk right past us. He was dressed (oddly enough) in a track suit and had a towel around his neck. He looked as though he was coming from working out. And also, I might add, looked a little older than I remember him. Jackson said we should have chased him down the street him making the bionic sound effect noise, but as we weren’t sure it was him and didn’t want to give an innocent pedestrian a stroke we decided against it.

We should have done it. This morning on CKNW I heard that it was him after all as he’s in town shooting sceens for a guest appearance in Jake 2.0, a show about a guy turned superhero / secret agent after he is shot and brought back to life with nanotechnology that gives him superhuman strength and amazing powers. Sound sort of familiar? Very Steve Austin if you ask me. My guess is that the Bionic Man has been resurrected for this show. It could be good to see him back in action. I’m not sure he’s done anything since the Fall Guy.

Jackson said a friend of his does transportation co-ordination on Jake 2.0 and he may be able to swing an autograph for me. Coolio!

I loved the Six Million Dollar Man and even had the toys. Listen to the theme right here (199kb .AU file) whilst reading below:

Pauly has lost his mind. He was out shopping and decided to pick me up a plastic figurine of what appears to be a moustachioed and floppy hatted Frenchman taking a pee, most likely on a wall in gay ol’ Paris (said Pareee). He said he picked it up at a gag shop here in town and instantly thought of me for some odd reason. That’s sad.

Anyway, what better thing to do than to scan it and share it with followers of the old blog. So as you can see from the scanned image at left and the image of Pee Guy out of his packaging this gentleman’s smug expression of relief coupled with his steady stream of urine is nothing short of priceless. When you’ve got to go you’ve got to go. Couth be damned.

It does remind me of my trip to Paris in 1985 where one evening found me tipsy in the Metro station laughing at another drunk who had urinated all over himself and passed out on a bench with his willy still hanging free. Ah! There is nothing so lovely as Paris in the spring time.

If you want a Pee Guy of your own you can get a catalog from Accoutrements.com and order one.

Thanks Pauly!

A Jacuzzi with a 43″ TV and a cheapy toilet like this.

It’s also National Ammo Day. Thanks Jackson!

Arrest Warrant Issued for Michael Jackson; Charges Unspecified

Surprise!

I haven’t seen a Cow Magnet since I was a kid. Dad, being a veterinarian, had them laying around in his ‘on call kit’.

CAUTION: dirty joke ahead…

The owner of a horse farm receives a call from a friend, who informs him of a midget with a speech impediment who’s interested in buying a horse. The owner has him send the midget over.

The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. “A female horth,” replies the midget. So the owner shows him one.

“Nith looking horth, can I thee her mouf?” So the owners picks up the midget and shows him the horse’s mouth.

“Nith mouf, Can I thee her eyeth?” Promptly, the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse’s eyes.

“Ok, what about the eerth?” At this point, the owner is becoming aggravated, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows him the ears.

“OK, finally, can I see her twat?” With that, the owner picks up the midget and shoves his head into the horse’s crotch, then pulls him out.

Shaking his head, the midget laments, “Perhapth I thould rephrathe that. Can I thee her wun awownd?”