I got another letter from the Nova Scotia Community Service’s Adoption Reunion branch yesterday. After some ‘preliminary inquiries’ they believe they may have located my birth mother. I am now finishing my biographical letter and mailing it off along with a photo of myself (the one I used in the about me section on this blog). They want to have it available prior to approaching her. To say I’m afraid is a slight understatement. Being a creative person the limitless possible outcomes of this are beating the hell out of me. Any information at all will help answer some of the questions that have haunted me for my entire life. Here’s hoping… Wish me luck.
Also on the adoption front, Marty Johnson, adopted person, fellow blogger and reader of this pathetic excuse of a blog, has his story and interview in GQ magazine coming to newsstands on Thursday. Marty is the guy who found he is a Nigerian Prince and traveled to Nigeria to meet his natural family. Now I don’t know if there’s any royalty in my blood nor do I think it worthy of GQ, however, I’m sure my story is interesting in it’s own way. I’m excited to find out what it is. You never know.
UPDATE (2:57pm): Letter sent.
{ 12 comments }
is he the jerk that’s sending me all those emails WRITTEN ALL IN CAPITALS wanting assistence moving a sum of money out of his country?
Wow- That was kid of hostile. Maybe you are just covering for that fact that YOU are the one sending those emails! (heh, heh.)
Hey Mike, thanks for the update abd the email. Congratulations on your discovery too. I hope that everything works out!
Oops! [KIND of hostile]
I sure you will never take any of my advice , but your answers might be found here http://www.eckharttolle.com
and in the Power of Now , release your actions from the out come and live in the now !
I double dare ya !!!
Thanks Donnie. I’m finding that feeling fear when approaching ‘the unknown’ is as natural as breathing. Fear just is, it’s up to me whether it paralyzes me or not; how much power it has over me. The Power of Now is exactly what I am attempting to put into practice. Part of letting go of results is through diffusing your fears by sharing them. Once they’re out in the world it’s a lot easier to see their futility. I’ve read Tolle’s books both in hardcover and the audiobooks. They’re straight forward and simple spiritual reading with an accessible message. If you like his stuff try Neale Donald Walsh and Emmet Fox as well.
Mike, my advice is take it slow. I had a disasterous first reunion with my bio-family, with the exception of my grandfather who stayed away from the big formal celebration that my family held. Be open, and be willing to hear what your biological family has to say… and proceed at a pace that you normally would in meeting a new friend. Don’t do the 6 hour marathon, deepest darkest secrets 5th step kind of "get to know you"… Keep your boundaries intact… I’m sure it will all work out well.
Cheers
Meaghan
YOU ARE CORRECT, IT IS I YOUR LOYAL SERVANT WHO HAVE BEEN SENDING THOSE EMAILS.
IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ASSIST FOR OUR MUTUAL BENEFITS, WE WILL HAVE TO NEGOTIATE ON YOUR PERCENTAGE SHARE OF THE $21,000,000 THAT WILL BE KEPT IN YOUR POSITION FOR A WHILE AND INVESTED IN YOUR NAME.
I WILL GREATLY APPRECIATE IF YOU ACCEPT MY PROPOSAL IN GOOD FAITH AND SEND ME YOUR PERSONAL BANKING INFORMATION.
Hi Mike,
I’m really excited for you. Meaghan had some good advise. I’m looking at my birthmom like she is a new friend, and now that we’ve gotten to know her better – an extention to my own family. I’m thrilled that I was a part of your decision to move forward. Best of luck!
Your birthday buddy,
Karin
Hi Bubby!
Very happy to hear that you will likely have the opportunity to make contact with your birth mother.
Having been there and done that, I think that Meaghan’s advice is quite sound. However, I also believe that each contact situation will be as individual as the people involved.
What worked for me?
1) Being clear about what I wanted and/or needed to acheive through the experience. Then I explored the most minimal outcomes that may result from the experience that I would consider to be positive. Most of these mininal outcomes were not too complicated and I used them to them to determine my baseline expectations. Although it is easy to say not to have any expectations…you will. Thus, I simply tried to keep mine as real, tangible, and agruably low as possible. Fortunately, my expectations were well exceeded.
2) Don’t place any pressure on yourself (society, peer, sibling, parental, or otherwise) to feel…well…whatever. The experience can be extremely emotional for many…or not. The event may feel like you are meeting a new friend…or not. You may feel a connection…or not.
Regardless, whatever you feel is OK. As there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ feelings in a contact situation, do not beat yourself up or feel negative about what you may or may not feel.
SORRY FOLKS I NEVER GIVE MY BROTHER ADVICE ON ANYTHING…I COULDN"T RESIST
Good Luck Bubby!
Your Sister
Mike,
You must be sitting on pins and needles over this. I wish you all the best…and that story about the Fresh Prince was so inspiring, I may send it over to my hubby when the time is right. (Mentioning adoption to him is a sensitive subject.)
I read Neale Donald Walsh’s first book btw…fascinating.
What a ton of support. Even my sister posted! Thanks Rachel I appreciate you candor and welcome the advice. I have watched your experience and positive as it was it’s helped me to move forward. Thanks. You’re a good egg Rachel Browne!
I agree with "SIS" too. I went into my journey with absolutely no expectations other than to find out who they were.
My experience is so incredibly unique- I was just very lucky to end up with what I have- a one in ten milion experience. But I have heard from people that have had the entire spectrum of experiences. Keep your heart with the family you already have and if what happens in the future is good or even great- it’s just gravy!
Comments on this entry are closed.