adoption

Lookie! It’s Dianne, me and Phil my half brother.

On Sunday we went to Truro to meet brother Phil and some more family. We met at brother J-P and wife Andrea’s place for some food and chit chat. Andrea sure has her hands full with Max and Carlie (two great kids) while J-P is working in Alberta. There were so many people to meet I hope I have them all in somewhat flattering poses.
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I spent the day with Dianne, my birth mother, yesterday. Above is the first picture of us together after 36 years.

We had a pleasant day ‘catching up’ on 36 years of what’s happening and I enjoyed looking at her family photos. We met her co-workers (more like family and friends if you ask me), went to New Minas, a.k.a. New Mindless, to get birthday cakes for upcoming events and then watched Boondock Saints (she loves movies as much as I do) and just talked and talked. I couldn’t have asked for a better day. She gave me the photo a friend of hers sneakily took of me in the hospital just days old, my hospital bracelet, a copy of the ‘letter of apprehension’ from my adoption and the letter given her by the social worker once I had been placed with Mom and Dad.

More after the jump. —->
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Arrived at 10:42 pm here in NS last night. Drove our fancy schmancy Buick Renedezvous like a crazy person to get to Mom and Dad’s place here and crashed out. Slept like a log and now it’s time to blog. Photos and more updates are on the way.

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Here we come. The next few hours see us packing, sleeping, riding, flying and driving… how exciting. I’m feeling rather verklemt. Off to Nova Scotia to meet more family. Friday is the big day. Dianne and I have a lot of catching up to do; 36 years worth. I’m going to her place to meet, then she’s taking me to meet her friends and co-workers and then its dinner on me.

Expect blogging and photos. Dad finally has a computer so I don’t even have to take my laptop. Wish us luck…

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Today I got a package in the mail from my birth-mom, Dianne. Strangely enough I knew who it was from when the postman buzzed to tell me there was a package waiting for me downstairs. Other than the huge gift she gave me in the form of the life I’ve had we have never been able to exchange gifts until now. I wonder what’s in it?
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I have a few minutes so now’s the time to post some pictures of my mother’s side of my birth family. We’ll start with her.

This is Dianne my birth mother on the right and her best friend Martina on the left. There’s more photos after you click the link —->
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I was having trouble sleeping early this morning, but fell back to sleep. I suspected something was going to happen today and it has. Upon awakening at 8:00am I found I had received an email from my birth mother, Dianne, who lives in Berwick, Nova Scotia.

Dianne sent me all of her contact information and a link to pictures of her and my half-brothers from JP’s website for his cute as pie son and daughter (the eldest half-brother who I look a bit like). I’m not sure yet if they’re cool with me posting their pictures here, but when I get the go ahead you’ll see them too. Apparently I’m most like my youngest half-brother, Phil, who’s artsy and a blogger too. You can count on a link as soon as I get it.

Late this afternoon we finally connected over the phone. What a wonderful phone call. I am so grateful I have been able to start in this direction at all. It has taken some doing to get up the nerve to begin this whole process but with the experience I’m having so far I’m looking forward fearlessly to more.

I felt a connection right away and our conversation was a mind blower to say the least. She seems like such a cool person. The more I learn about Dianne and her (my birth) family the more connected to planet Earth I feel in a way I never have before. I’m not an alien (as far as I know to this point) as I have suspected. There are others ‘like’ me.

Being a product of the 60′s as I am now so sure about explains my bent toward hippidom and that, ahem, lifestyle. Dianne is proud that I’m a Beatles fan and not an Elvis man.

On a really interesting note, Dianne’s mother, my biological grandmother, the war bride from Amsterdam, came from a family that was Jewish and converted to Protestant when the Nazi’s started their insanity before and during WW2. Most of the family is ‘just gone’ as a result of Hitler’s final solution. The one 80+ year old great aunt (who still drives) did survive the war although in a concentration camp and will not go to Germany to this day. That makes me a quarter Jew. Oi! Who knew? I always suspected on a deep level and have even discussed it with Carol prior to knowing as I have felt a special affinity to the Jewish people for as long as I can remember. Now I know why.

I’m looking forward to more contact and meeting this whole new ‘side’ of the family. My biological father may be a different story. I know his name now and will start poking around. I’m not going to hold my breath or plan any kind of result. We’ll see how it plays out. I’m just glad to be having this experience at all. Keep praying for me.

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Upon arriving home absolutely bushed from ‘Fire Mountain’ I had a special delivery letter waiting for me on my desk. I knew immediately what it was even before reading the info on it. When I opened it I saw I did contain the biographical letter I have been expected from my birth mother and the form (I will send tomorrow over night delivery) for direct contact approval by me. The information I read has me reeling. Although very emotional I feel extremely positive about continuing on toward making contact with my birth mother. It has taken me until this point today to feel together enough to write a bit about it.

A lot of the letter I’d like to keep private, medical information and some personal feelings, but I’ll give you all the general low down and now some specifics. As every adopted child hopes that someone out there misses them, my birth mother misses me still. Its actually comforting in a strange and totally self-centered way. She did worry about me and whether she had made the right decision. Its a gift to be able to share with her the wonderful childhood I did have to ease her fears.

What have I learned?
- My birth parents never married and have no contact (I guess I’ll find more out later)
- My birth mother did marry an RCMP officer but divorced 15 years ago
- I have two younger half-brothers, JP (John-Paul) who is moving to Alberta to work in the oil fields with his wife and son and new daughter (call me uncle Mike), and Phil who has a degree in Theatre Arts and has acted in various plays (Surprise! Another actor in the family)
- My maternal grandmother, recently deceased, was a war bride from Amsterdam so I have family there, in Belgium and England
- My birth mother is an accounting/payroll clerk at the town hall where she lives, she is also executive secretary and a volunteer firefighter for the local fire department. (I have also done this)
- She loves to laugh, read science fiction, watch movies and listens to classic rock and heavy metal (all things I like too!)

I finally know that I was born at 7:44 am (I always knew the date [August 5, 1969] just not the time) and that I spent three days with my birth mother and that her friend smuggled a camera into the hospital for her to take my picture at 1 day old which she still has!

Finally, she had named me Chrstopher Jude and, as I had suspected ever since I found out, the Beatles song, Hey Jude, was and I quote, “my inspiration and a way of keeping the special memory of you in my heart”.

As you can see. So far so good. I am feeling emotions I’ve never felt before so I don’t even know what to call them yet…

Bear with me.

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Holy shit! I got a phone call from Paula Murrin at the Nova Scotia Community Services Adoption Disclosure branch two days ago. I called back, left a message and finally got another call this morning. It was good news! Paula has been in contact with my birth mother and she is very positive about exchanging information with the hope of that leading to a reunion of some kind. I got pretty misty hearing what Paula had to say about the phone call especially that I have two younger (I presume) half-brothers who also know I exist. Also interesting is that I was not a ‘secret’ as my birth mother’s ex-husband also knew of me. I’m not sure if he is my birth father or not, but I assume not. My birth mother told Paula that she had worried a lot about where I was and how things were for me (Pretty damned good actaully!) and that she had waited for more than 35 years ‘for this day’.

The next step is to await a letter and picture from my birth mother along with a consent form for direct contact and the exchange of identifying information from NS Community Services. I’m so excited the waiting is going to kill me. However, the length of the process is good as it is easing everyone involved toward a resloution slowly rather than at blazing speed, which is my tendancy. I’ve waited almost 36 years, what’s another few weeks?

Already I’m feeling relieved a) that contact is coming b) that the experience is so far positive and c) I have some concrete information namely the fact that there’s more family to meet! I think I’m a little in shock that things are actually happening too. I honestly didn’t expect to hear anything this soon. I am so glad its been good news to this point. I guess the glass really is half full.

Being the creative and dark individual that I am I had every crazy scenario possible about my genetic relatives worked out in my head over the years. I think being adopted has helped me to become the imaginative nut bag I am. I’ve always had to wonder about who I look like, walk like and talk like etc. My birth family is has been merely guesswork in my noodle until this point. Now that they are becoming a firm reality I can put that wonderful speculative tool I’ve developed over the years to work doing something else. Watch out world. Here I come!

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