15 New Regulations in the BC Registry of Motor Vehicle’s 2003

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident BC driver
avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between
you and the car in front of you, because somebody else will fill in the
space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a chance
you have of getting hit.

4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one
expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork, especially with Alberta or Sask, plates. With no insurance, the
other operator has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal
violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to
strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It’s a
good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion
and are not enforceable in BC during rush hour, especially in Vancouver.

9. Just because you’re in the left lane and have no room to speed up
or move over doesn’t mean that a BC driver flashing his high beams behind
you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. BC is the home of
high-speed slalom driving; thanks to the Department of Public Works, which
puts potholes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keep them
alert.

12. It is tradition in BC to honk your horn at cars in front of you
that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is
important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away. Wearing your
seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

14. Remember that the goal of every BC driver is to get ahead of the
pack by whatever means necessary.

15. In BC, ‘flipping the bird’ is considered a polite salute. This
gesture should always be returned.

Thank You,

The BC Registrar of Motor Vehicles

Thanks to Matt for the heads up on this.