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Tomorrow’s my birthday…

Today I got a package in the mail from my birth-mom, Dianne. Strangely enough I knew who it was from when the postman buzzed to tell me there was a package waiting for me downstairs. Other than the huge gift she gave me in the form of the life I’ve had we have never been able to exchange gifts until now. I wonder what’s in it?

The coolest gift ever. Birthday cards – 36 of them! The post-it on the front of the first envelope says, “Dear Mike, Here are some cards for the birthdays I missed with you” At the top right of each envelope is the date from August 5, 1970 (my first birthday) until August 5, 2005 (tomorrow) and all but the latest are addressed simply to “Son” with the latest being addressed to “My Son Mike!” Upon opening, each card bears a brief note on Dianne’s well wishes, feelings, questions, hopes and dreams for me at the time of each year’s birthday with a brief update on her life over the year gone by.

The last card, the one for this year has a bit of cash in it, but I’m not sure I want to spend it on anything trivial. Perhaps I’ll get something that reminds me of this whole process. Until I figure it out the dough stays in the card.

Thanks Dianne. This means a lot.

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  • The Mrs. August 4, 2005, 2:42 pm

    Thank God you posted that it’s your birthday tomorrow. I almost forgot! Teehee…I have your presents in my murse.

  • prairiewoman August 4, 2005, 2:44 pm

    How awesome for you Mike, and for your new mom too. It makes me cry–part of that is for myself too because it’s near the 3rd anniversary of my son’s death and everything makes me cry now. Thanks for sharing your new life with us. Love you.

  • prairiewoman August 4, 2005, 2:45 pm

    oops, can’t resist this one. Carol carries a murse. I thought she was over that years ago.

  • DianneDianne August 4, 2005, 4:19 pm

    So glad you liked my special gift to you Son! Every year on your birthday, I would think of what I wanted to say to you if we would ever meet again. I am so glad we have found eachother and I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again..you have probably gained a little weight since 1969 ..lol Take care Son and have a grand 36th Birthday!!

  • Kell August 4, 2005, 4:49 pm

    Beautiful, simply beautiful. sniff…sniff

  • Karin August 4, 2005, 7:21 pm

    Oh my God, Mike. I can only imagine how you must of felt. It brought tears to my eyes! Happy early birthday! It’s mine tomorrow as well. I am so happy that things turned out this way for you. I know exactly what it means and how it feels. After having a recent successful reunion and many talks and visits with my own birthmother, it’s just such a sense of happiness and closure to all of those unanswered questions and feelings that you and I (and other adoptees) grow up with. And Dianne – I hope you realize what an exceptional person you are! What an awesome gift you have given Mike – not only the cards, but …yourself – at this time. Enjoy many happy times to come on this journey.

  • big_almac August 4, 2005, 9:56 pm

    WOW – what more can be said

  • ewarz August 4, 2005, 10:48 pm

    definatly the best gift ever. happy brithday bro!!

  • Carol Boylan August 5, 2005, 6:58 am

    Happy Birthday Mike…I knew the cards were on the way….I was with Dianne when she picked them out…took awhile…Looking forward to meeting you when you come to Nova Scotia!!

  • A Birthmom Too August 7, 2005, 1:38 am

    Dianne

    Does it ever stop hurting?

    Went thru adoption… Most days it’s ok. I know my daughter is happy, healthy and thriving. It’s an open adoption… and so I keep it firmly in my mind that she is doing good.

    And that works… most days.

    But…If I even start to talk about her…or I remember how it felt to hold her…
    I can’t breath.

    Please tell me… does it ever stop feeling like this?

  • Dianne August 7, 2005, 5:03 am

    Dear Birthmom Too:

    You are so very lucky to know your daughter is happy, healthy and thriving. I never knew this with Mike and the pain of that was more than I can describe in words and it stayed with me in my heart for nearly 36 years. I know now that I made the right decision in 1969 as difficult as it was, I did it for my son. Knowing now that he was raised by two wonderful people that he adores, has given me the comfort and release of some of the pain. As I do not the circumstances for your decision I can say to you that there will always be regret and even guilt but please be assured that in your heart you also made the right decision for your daughter – that in itself should ease your pain. You must thrive and be strong for one day you also may get the wonderful opportunity to hold her in your arms again. Many years ago, I changed my hurt to hope and yes, it does get easier to deal with the pain.

  • Pauly August 9, 2005, 11:57 am

    Been busy and haven’t had a chance to catch up on the Blog. THis posting is the first one I’ve read. What a way to start. Its such a pleasure to be included in this belated celebration of life via this Blog and my friendship with Mike. This is just grande.