adoption

I got another letter from the Nova Scotia Community Service’s Adoption Reunion branch yesterday. After some ‘preliminary inquiries’ they believe they may have located my birth mother. I am now finishing my biographical letter and mailing it off along with a photo of myself (the one I used in the about me section on this blog). They want to have it available prior to approaching her. To say I’m afraid is a slight understatement. Being a creative person the limitless possible outcomes of this are beating the hell out of me. Any information at all will help answer some of the questions that have haunted me for my entire life. Here’s hoping… Wish me luck.

Also on the adoption front, Marty Johnson, adopted person, fellow blogger and reader of this pathetic excuse of a blog, has his story and interview in GQ magazine coming to newsstands on Thursday. Marty is the guy who found he is a Nigerian Prince and traveled to Nigeria to meet his natural family. Now I don’t know if there’s any royalty in my blood nor do I think it worthy of GQ, however, I’m sure my story is interesting in it’s own way. I’m excited to find out what it is. You never know.

UPDATE (2:57pm): Letter sent.

{ 12 comments }

I got a letter in February about my search for my birth parents from the Adoption Disclosure Services Program in NS. The are ”ready to begin the search” for my birth mother. They requested I send a letter for my birth mother describing myself and my family – like a non-identifying biography. They also want a snapshot of me to have ready for my birth mother if the are “fortunate enough to find her”.

I’ve been waffling on this, mostly because I don’t know if a) I can handle being ‘rejected’ (all perceived) by this person again b) I’m afraid of what I might find out and c) What will become of me once I have this information that I’ve never had before?

I have in recent weeks received a number of emails regarding my being adopted and my search. One email I got from Karin in the US who happened to be born on exactly the same day in the same year as me sharing her positive experience with an adoption reunion from only the day before.

“Hello Mike. This is the universe calling. It’s time you did something with this.”

On the upside it’s not taking three years as I shared on my blog for them to get to my case. Even though it took more than a year I’m still amazed. Along those lines I recieved a note from Lori, a community services researcher for the NDP in Nova Scotia. She said she wants my case to be raised in the Nova Scotia legislature highlighting the understaffing at the Adoption Disclosure Services Program in NS and perhaps have me speak to the press about it as well.

Wow! Who knew that people would find something on my blog to further a cause. I just thought I was spewing junk.

I’m not sure that the press would be the right idea as I don’t want to publicly humiliate my birth family and jeopardize the possiblity of a happy and private reunion. I don’t know their situation and am not prepared to hurt them in anyway just to find out what I desire to know. Who knows if the people in my birth family’s lives even know I exist. It’s not up to me to expose something that might be a deep dark family secret. That just doesn’t sit well with me.

So yes, I’ll write the bio and send the picture, but I don’t think I need the hooplah. I will share it here if I can. That might be enough for now.

{ 5 comments }

No, no, no! Not me… That would really be a story.

I got an email as a result of a post in the comments section on my blog. It was from Marty Johnson, the guy in this story:
Mortgage broker discovers he’s a prince

How cool is that? Very if you ask me. A note from a prince. The text of his letter was as follows:

I too am adopted and just as I began to search for my parents my birth mother found me. 10 months later we found my birth father in Nigeria (they met when he was a foreign student getting his master’s degree in Iowa.)

Oh Yeah- a suggestion. Tell us about what thought processes you are going through as you are putting this search together.

Well Marty, as far as any thought processes they are as follows. I have sent for the non-identiifying information from the province of Nova Scotia where I was born. As they are 3 years behind in requests I have about another 28 months to wait for that.

I’m leaving it up to the Gods really. I’ve put my name on all the reunion boards around the web including CANADopt.ca. I’ve made myself very easy to find as you can see. Heck, you found me. Anyway, I’m doubtful that I’m anything more than a pauper, but am honored that a Prince took the time to contact me.

{ 5 comments }

I recieved a response to my letter to Adoption Disclosure Service Program. It was another letter (snailmail, of course) with a form inside for me to fill out officially requesting contact with any member of my birth family (both sides), requesting non-identifying information such as known family history and medical history, to be put on the passive adoption reunion list and to recieve my certificate of adoption. I sent that back and have recieved another letter (more snailmail) with a confirmation that they have recieved my form, statistics about adoption reunions in Nova Scotia and a reading list to assist me in the feelings that may arise (and have already) in regards to my search and the results at various stages.

Also included in this letter is a heads up that the Adoption Disclosure Service Program is still processing request from April of 2001. Yes you read that right, three years ago. I have waited for almost 35 years, what’s another 3? Now that I’m ready to know, it’s a bloody eternity. I almost crapped myself when Carol opened the letter and read that to me over the phone. I wanted to complain immediately, but as there’s no email address, I’m too cheap to phone and too lazy to write another letter. I guess this is the way it’s supposed to be right now and I’ll just have to wait.

I did however get a nice note from a birthmother who has seen my adoption posts and would like to share her experience with me. I’d be glad to read it. What a nice surprise.

{ 4 comments }

The letter has been sent. It’s out of my hands now.

{ 1 comment }

As some of you know I am an adopted person. I have finally made the decision to begin the search for my birth famly. There seems to me to be no better way of chronicling the search for family, my new found insights, links, thoughts and feelings around adoption and my search than on the old blog.

This may bore some of you but may prove cathartic for me so I’m going ahead with it. I’ve created a new category called “Adoption” for the blog especially for these posts.

Anyway, let the games begin.

I read on Nova Scotia’s Adoption Information website that I can apply to have the Adoption Disclosure Services Program staff search and contact my birth family for me with the hope they will want contact. As Nova Scotia is still in the 80′s I have to send a snailmail letter. Here’s the text of what I’m sending:

Adoption Disclosure Service Program

Department of Community Services

P.O. Box 696 Halifax, Nova Scotia

B3J 2T7

To Whom It May Concern:

I was born Christopher J. Croft on August 5th, 1969 at the Grace Maternity in Halifax, NS and was placed for adoption with Dr. Edward and Mrs. Marion Browne of Bridgewater, NS in October of 1969. I am very interested in obtaining both identifying and non-identifying information on anyone in my birth family (father or mother’s side) if that is at all possible. I see now from your website that on top of the current passive registry if the other people (in this case my birth family) have not registered, staff from your program will undertake the search on my behalf. I have long battled with the idea of reunion fearing the worst, but am at the point now where I’m willing to make the moves necessary to follow through regardless of the results. I do wish immediate contact with anyone from my birth family who wishes. Feel free to pass on my contact information as noted below.

Thanks for your attention. I look forward to hearing from your department soon. I hope you all have the happiest of holidays.

Sincerely,

Michael C. Browne

Wish me luck! I’ll keep you posted.

{ 7 comments }